


Really Knowing Someone

by LizzieSoloFics



Category: Girls (TV)
Genre: Actor - Freeform, Adam Driver - Freeform, Background Relationships, Dysfunctional Family, F/M, Family Issues, Fluff and Smut, Gen, HBO Girls - Freeform, Mental Health Issues, Slow Build, singer - Freeform, teacher
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-14 15:28:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 80,297
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29420874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LizzieSoloFics/pseuds/LizzieSoloFics
Summary: You are a young passionate teacher who has been shaped by your dysfunctional family and life experiences to be independent and resilient. Battling insecurities it's hard for you to let new people into your life until you meet someone that sees who you are. Adam Sackler is a dedicated actor who is really starting his career but struggling with his personal life. After awhile of being on and off with Jessa he finally calls it quits and she leaves. Not hearing from her for months Adam moves on with his life focusing on his acting career as he meets someone new.
Relationships: Adam Sackler/Reader, Jessa Johansson/Adam Sackler
Comments: 1
Kudos: 5





	1. Chapter 1

You rush home from work on a busy Friday evening barely catching the 5 o'clock train back home. As you run up the stairs to your apartment you hear your phone chime. You look down knowing exactly who it's from. Madison, your best friend texted you.

"I hope you're almost home to get changed. You are not missing the show tonight!

"I am literally walking through the front door now. I wouldn't miss it for anything"

"Perfect, I put your name down on the list so you can stop backstage before the show"

"Thanks! Now stop bothering me so I can get ready!"

"Fine. Love you!"  
"Love you too!"

Your stomach started to fill with guilt because you've been so busy with work and family issues that your only chance of seeing your best friends play was closing night. Of course Madison never made you feel bad about it and understood the aspects of your life. You did everything you could have done to support her. When Madi needed help running lines, practicing her cues, or helping her get into character you were there for her no matter what. However you still felt like you weren't doing enough.

Jumping in the shower really quick to wash the long day off you are instantly relieved when the stress starts to melt off. You finish washing your body and condition your hair detangling with your fingers. Hopping out quickly then racking a few products through your hair then clipping a few roots to help give a little volume on top as it air dries while you finish getting ready.  
Running into your room you thought of the outfit you had mentally prepared while you were on the subway. Grabbing your favorite dark washed jeans and throwing them on the bed. Now heading towards your dresser and rustling through to find a simple dark V-neck top. After getting your bra and underwear on you start to jump into your jeans. Even though you loved them they didn't always particularly repay the affection. Once you got them on successfully you ran back to the bathroom to reapply your makeup. Which was not a hard task since you never wore an elaborate look. Starting with a little moisturizer then a light coverage foundation you start to sigh as you look at your reflection. Your mind starts to race thinking about everything going on in your life shaking your head to snap yourself out of it. Grabbing your concealer adding a little under your eyes, forehead, bridge of your nose, and chin then blending and setting with a brush. You move on to fill in your brows a little bit with your favorite reminder that they are sisters not twins. Lastly you apply your classic black mascara and a little bit of a mauve lipstick.

Running back into your bedroom throwing your shirt on then checking your hair in the mirror reassured that it's doing what you want it to do. You start to think about it being October in Brooklyn so you decide to grab your favorite cardigan to stay warm in the cool night breeze. Unclipping your hair and letting it fall into its natural part you start to fluff and blow dry it a little to let it set happy with the way it turned out you start heading towards the door. Stopping to slip your shoes on, cuff the bottom of your jeans, and grab your purse stepping out of your apartment and locking the door. Glancing down at the time you are impressed that you have plenty of time to grab a coffee at Grumpy's on the way.

Thanking the almighty gods that the playhouse was close by you were able to walk grabbing a small coffee to have on the way. You slip your headphones in immediately feeling the anxiety of rushing ease away as Joan Armatrading's down to zero starts playing.

Once reaching the theater you toss your coffee cup into the recycling bin and pop a mint into your mouth hoping it would help the coffee breath. Stepping through the backstage door you find a small friendly face asking who you were. "I'm here to see Madison, my name is Y/N", she checked the list and smiled handing you a ticket saying, "She is down this hall and the first door on the right by the stairs". Giving a nice smile and a quick "Thank you" making your way down the hall.

You knock on the door as you slowly enter Madi's dressing room. She turns around and rushes up hugging you, the joy on her face fills your heart. We sit and visit for a few minutes as she starts to talk about all the different inner workings of the play. After about 10 minutes a familiar voice starts making its way towards the dressing room. You look towards the door and with a big boisterous yell your name is called as Peter walks in. With a huge smile and saying "Hi Peter" getting up arms open for a hug.

Peter is Madison's boyfriend who was also casted in the play. They have been together happily for almost a year now. Madi and Peter are honestly so perfect for each other. You have come to love him like a brother and consider him a really good friend. He lets go of the embrace and excitedly touches up his costumes making sure no wrinkles were set it. The three of you talk for a few more minutes as you here a slow knock on the door. All three sets of eyes look towards the door as a tall man was standing there with dark wavy hair. Something about him struck you but you couldn't quit decide what it was. He smirked and spoke, "Peter staging is ready for you and hey Madi I'll see you out there" he then makes his way out of the door way. Your friends both reply, "Thanks Adam".  
You took this as your cue to leave saying good luck and giving one last hug you find your way to your seat.

When the play was over you make your way to the backstage door. Instead of going inside you decide to wait outside in the alley for Madi and Peter. Many crew members and stage hands have come and gone as well as many other cast members. After waiting about 20 minutes you check your phone again no reply to your "I'm outside" text. You decide to stop pacing and lean against the building then suddenly you hear the heavy push on the backstage door. Wishful thinking that it was your friends you look up. As your head rises your eye meet someone else's and as if everything was slow motion the tall man with dark wavy hair and intense hazel eye were locked on each other as he walks past. Your eyes instantly break as the door opens again this time it's Madi and Peter busting out calling your name.


	2. Chapter 2

Your friends came out with excitement you congratulate them as the three of you start walking up the alley. Peter calls out to the man walking ahead, "hey Adam wait up". He turns around as Peter joins him and start talking. Madi wraps her arm around you and thanks you for coming. That guilt starts to ache again, but you push it away and reassure her of how good she was and that you were proud of her performance . By now Madi and you have made your way past Peter and Adam who started walking behind you two. Madi asks, "come with us to the cast party Y/N". You look back at Peter who is giving you the better do what she says eyes answering with a smile, "Madi Im not apart of the cast that is time for y'all to celebrate together. I'm fine" Madi rolls her eyes and sighs, "well it's a good thing I planned the party cause your invited and I'm not taking no for an answer". Now it's your turn to roll your eyes and sigh, "fine I'll hang out for a little bit". Your arm received an excited squeeze as the two of you walk together.

Peter and Adam were walking and talking behind you two and Peter asks Adam if he was going to come to the party. You hear a similar response with a soft low sigh, "yeah just for a little while though" Peter nodded in acceptance.

The party wasn't too far at a bar that Madi had reserved a party room. The four of us were walking together crossing the busy streets. We were getting close only a few blocks to go when suddenly a couple of teenage boys on skateboards burst out of the alleyway almost crashing into you and Madi. We immediately stopped in our tracks, your body crashing with what felt like a wall behind you but before flying forward you felt two large hands grab you. One on your arm and one on your waist. In unison we all yell "HEY WATCH IT!", the kids reply "sorry" as the fade away.

Peter had caught Madi and they kept walking tangled together looking so effortlessly adorable. Looking up at the solid wall you crashed into which turned out to be Adam still holding on to your body. "I'm so sorry" you blurt out and steady yourself he lets go. "It's not your fault it's those assholes", pointing the direction the skater boys went. You let out a small laugh looking at the ground starting to walk again Adam joins you. Looking up you start to talk and point at your friends walking ahead, "well those assholes are horrible at introductions I'm Y/N". He looks up with a smile, "I'm Adam".

You thought earlier he had looked familiar and it just hit you. He was at Peter's surprise party Madison did back in May with his girlfriend you think. You can't remember her name or if you even got her name that day. You had been so busy helping Madi with the party. Matching Adam's smile you say, "your performance was really good congrats on a great play". As if he wasn't sure of anything he looked down and said, " oh really thanks".  
"Yeah the whole production was really thought out and smart". He looks back at you surprised at your response. You asked "did you go to Peter's birthday party awhile back? I just thought you looked familiar."

"Yeah I did"

"Oh ok yeah I was helping with the party. Didn't you come with your girlfriend I'm sorry I didn't catch her name but she had the really long blond hair right?"

"Uhhh yeah but she not my girlfriend"

"Oh I'm sorry, forget I asked"

"It's fine"

At this point you were ready to run away with how much of a fool you felt like. Grateful for finally reaching the bar where the party was being held. Peter held the door open so Madi and you could walk in together. Everyone got in and started to say their hellos and other greetings. You were Madi's arm candy as she made her rounds and introduced you to every single person she came in contact with. After breaking away and visiting with a few people you decided you needed a break. You made your way to the bar and took a seat at the far back corner so that you can see everyone and everything going on. It's nice to sit and watch people trying to figure out what they are doing or saying or even just making something up. This is something you've been doing since you were a kid it helps to focus on something other than your anxieties. Some time passed and you were still sitting at the bar when you noticed two large hands gripping the edge of the bar. You look up and notice it's Adam, you say "hey" and he says, "what are you doing over hear"

"Needed a break from new people. Madi means well but it's a lot some times"

"Yeah I get it"

Out of nowhere the bartender comes by asking if either of us wanted a drink. Without purpose we both reply at the same time "just a water" we share a look as if we were trying to figure each other out. A comfortable silences grew between us as we wait for our drinks. After a few moments of silence the bar tender sets the two waters down. Attempting to pay he waves his hand dismissing it in a it's just water no big deal way. You give a grateful smile and when he turns to another customer you stick the cash in his tip jar. Adam notices your exchange and follows suit giving you a smirk. You look at him and asking "how long have you and Peter been friends". He thought for a second and looks at you, "for awhile now. The first play I ever did he was in too. We give each other heads up on auditions and stuff. He helped me get this one." A reassuring expression shown on your face. He asked, "Madi and you have been friends for awhile?" You nod, "yeah we met junior year of college. I don't think I will ever be able to get rid of her." A small laugh exist your lips. Adam lets out an understanding breath taking a drink of his water. You look up and Peter is making his way towards the two of you. "Speaking of the Devil" you say while motioning your eyes in Peters direction, "I think he found our hiding place" you smirk.

Peter finally reaches the two of you by the bar. He has already had a drink or two and probably a shot or two. You've known him too long and could read him like a book sometimes. Peter said, " hey guys come over here we have a table to sit at." Adam and you oblige his request and head towards the table. Barely able to set your drink down Madi is right there by your side and you can smell the tequila on her breath as she greets you excitedly. Music starts to play and you have no choice as Madi drags you to dance with her. More and more people start dancing making it feel a little more comfortable. The music was a good mix of old and new fast paced songs that really moved through your body. After dancing to a couple of songs you realized that Madi has slipped away. You look around and see Peter dancing next to you. You smile while scanning the room for her then finding her going around inviting people to dance. Another song goes by laughing as you notice Peter doing some weird version of the sprinkler. Grabbing his hands and begging him to never do that again he busts out laughing. You both start to dance again as Madi comes by next to you with two large hands locked in hers. Still smiling you look over and make eye contact with Adam somehow Madi convinced him to come dance. He had some goofy look on his face like he wasn't sure why he agreed to follow Madi but was going to go with it.

His dancing was impeccable for how tall he was. Most people that tall are lanky and robotic. However, he moved with ease and seemed like he knew exactly what he was doing. At some point the two of you were face to face. Still dancing that look came back like he was trying to figure you out. He quickly replaced it with small smile as you stepped just a bit closer. Adam reaches out a hand to you saying with a smirk "I don't bite" and with a sigh and a playful smile you grab his hand. He pulls you in with a small spin your back meeting his chest with a hand on your waist you both start swaying together. After a couple of minutes he spins you out as the beat of the song quickens you both start moving your arms up and down jumping with the beat laughing as you think you look ridiculous. A moment or two went by and the next thing you knew two large hands had grabbed yours pulling you in. One hand goes to the small of your back as the other guides the direction of your movements. You both move together easily smiling. After awhile Madi and Peter had made their way back by the two of you. One of Madi's favorite songs come on and grabs your hand. You look at Adam with a face of remorse and mouth the words, "thanks for the dance" as your pulled away.

After finally breaking away from Madi you find your way to the table desperately needing your water. You sit and watch Peter and Madi dance enjoying their happiness. More and more people start to take a break from dancing till the floor was almost empty. You scan the room and notice Adam and Peter making their way to sit at the table. As they join you at the table you ask, "where's Madi?" Peter replies, "you know her she always has something up her sleeve". Almost in the same breath everyone's heads turn and notice the Karaoke stage light up. Peter and you exchange a look of disbelief. She always does this.

Madi has a couple volunteers come up and start karaoke. The more people who come up the more fun it became to watch. Most of the people who came up to sing were either super talented, super drunk, or even both if that is possible. Of coarse the classic songs played like Don't stop believing by journey, Wonderwall by Oasis, Total Eclipse of the heart by Bonnie Tyler, Dancing Queen by ABBA, Don't go breaking my heart by Elton John, Living on a Prayer by Bon Jovi, and more. Then of coarse with a room full of theater people you had your musical hits from Wicked, Grease, Rent, Les Mís, Phantom of the Opera, Chicago, cabaret, and any other classic musical you could think of. Suddenly you hear a familiar tune start and immediately you are filled with dread and anxiety. Madi makes her way to the table with two mics in hand. You start to nicely protest as all the eyes in the room burn into you. Madi says, "please sing with me it's our song" you stare at her and start to say no I'm not for the 100th time she interrupts, "please I won't ask for another thing tonight we haven't sang together in forever". You look to Peter for help and he simply smiles and says, "come on Y/N, just one song. You know you miss the stage." The pain in your chest tightens then releases a little as you take a deep breath, "Fine just one". Grabbing the mic and looking around Adams eyes were glued to you and this time you had the look like you were trying to figure him out. Standing from your chair and making your way nervously to the stage Madi had practically ran up already starting to sing the first verse. The song she chose was one the both of you would sing together all the time in college with declared parts and practiced harmonies at the end.

Betty Davis Eyes By Kim Carnes is playing with the words on the screen in front of you both. However without a doubt the two of you could sing this song backwards, drunk, or even deaf that's how well you knew this song. The way we broke down the song is Madi sings the first verse and chorus then you sing the second verse and chorus. Finally you both come together to sing the repeated chorus and alternating the last few lines. Madi finishes her part and smiles at you. Taking a deep breath and starting to sing.  
"She'll let you take her home  
It whets her appetite  
She'll lay you on a throne  
She got Bette Davis eyes  
She'll take a tumble on you  
Roll you like you were dice  
Until you come out blue  
She's got Bette Davis eyes"  
You take a breath noticing everyone is enjoying the song vibing and smiling. Even more anxiety drips away. Then you notice Peter standing at the table with the biggest grin cheering us on. You move your eyes around the table and notice Adam is is staring at you with a look that makes you feel so at ease. Your chorus part comes up  
"She'll expose you, when she snows you  
Off your feet with the crumbs, she throws you  
She's ferocious and she knows just what it  
Takes to make a pro blush  
All the boys think she's a spy, she's got Bette Davis eyes"  
Madi and You finish the song together. As it finishes the room starts to applaud and Madi forces a big hug you accept and give a big squeeze. She whispers in your ear, "thanks I've missed singing with you". You squeeze her one more time then hand the mic off to the next person then making your way back to the table.

After awhile you notice a few people leaving. Most were still just drinking and hanging out but you felt that you had over stayed your welcome. Looking around you give Peter a goodbye nod and wave knowing he will relay your message to Madi gathering your stuff and heading out. Throwing your cardigan back on and making sure you have everything else like your keys, phone, and wallet you make your way out the door. Heading down the sidewalk you stop at the cross walk waiting for the light as cars keep passing through. After a minute you notice someone come up beside you and see that it is Adam. "Your leaving?" you ask  
"Your leaving." he said  
"Yeah but it's not my cast party" you say half smiling  
"Yeah well I just was over it" he looked at you with a smirk  
"I get that" you say with a reassuring look.  
The light changed then the two of you started to walk across the street. The two of you kept walking for a little bit as a comfortable silence grew again. As you approached a corner you pointed to the left and said, "I gotta go this way". Starting to walk around the corner you turn back to say something and Adam interrupts your thoughts. "Shit you can't walk back by your self" and without missing a beat his tall figure is walking right past giving you the lets go look. You make your way up to join him and say, "you don't have to walk me home it's probably out of your way don't worry about me." The words we're leaving your mouth quicker than you could form the sentence. He stopped and looked at you with that same look of trying to figure you out. "It's late I'm walking you home" he says and starts to walk as you follow.


	3. Chapter 3

Finally you catch up to his long strides as you two make your way down the street. The comfortable silence finds its way back in between us. After a couple of minutes the walk home was coming close to an end. You said, "I know I said this earlier, but your performance was really good. I'm glad I was able to finally see it." He looked almost embarrassed like he only half believed what you were saying, "uhhm thanks." with a small grin. Looking at him for a second, "I've been trying to see the show for a while now. Just been busy with work and life stuff, but it was fun helping Madi when she needed it."  
"What do you do for work?" Adam asks,  
"I am a teachers assistant at a local school." You say,  
"Really? Your a teacher?" He looks amused,  
"Yes I am, I work with many different grades as instructional support and sometimes I tutor, substitute, or sponsor a club."  
"Wow seems like a lot"  
"It can be sometimes, but I really like it."

By this point you have made it to your apartment building. "Well this is my building" you say pointing to the big brick building, "thanks for walking with me you did not have to" you added. He gave you a sincere laugh and said, "it's fine, and yes I did." The two of you look a each other for a moment. Right as you started to turn Adam asked, "hey is it alright if I use your bathroom?". Without thinking you said "yes", which is weird you were never so trusting with new people. However, there was something about Adam and you couldn't put your finger on it.

The two of you made it up the flight of stairs and to your apartment. You opened the door and step in the room. Your apartment was really pretty nice and decent for an affordable Brooklyn apartment. Stepping into the entryway to the left is the living area with a small entertainment center with a tv on it, small coffee table, a couch, a lounge chair, and two large windows that look onto the street. As you step further into the entry way you start to make your way into the kitchen which is like every other standard apartment kitchen. The only thing that you absolutely love is that instead of having a table you had a double size island with chairs on one side that makes a bar/ tall table. The kitchen and living area meet together where the hall meets in the middle of the large room. Down the hall was two bedrooms right next to each other on one side of the hallway and the bathroom across on the other side behind the kitchen wall.

You gesture down the hall "the bathrooms down the hall to the right". Adam thanks you and starts down the hall. Looking around you noticed your work bags scattered on the couch that you threw when you came home to get ready for the play. Quickly scooping them up and sticking them away then scanning for anything else a mess. Thankfully everything looks good Madi must have straitened up before she left earlier. By this point Adam had made his way back and you were putting your keys and shoes away. You look up and say, "would you like something to drink" he thought for a second and asked, "do you have any milk?" You nodded and headed into the kitchen grabbing a glass and pouring some milk. As you handed him the glass he said "thanks".

He starts to move a around a little looking around the apartment finishing his milk he stops at a small rectangular table. Sitting on the table is a record player. Under the table is crates filled with records as well as a display of records sitting on little stands on the wall. You observe every movement he makes because something about it is so interesting almost as if everything is happening a second or two slower than it actually is. He looks at you to say something and quicker than he could you say, "pick something and put it on." He nods and turns back to look through your collection. "I'll be right back" you say as you slip into your bedroom real quick to change out of your jeans and into some black leggings. You start to think about which record he would pick. Picking a record to play is a hard choice to make in your mind. People want to please others listening in the room but you also want to stay true to themselves. It also shows your taste in music whether it's mainstream or eclectic. Lastly depending on the music you pick it can really give insight to who you are as a person.

You slip back into the living area shutting your bedroom door behind you. All of a sudden you hear the record start. Instantly you knew exactly which one it was Joni Mitchell's Blue album. Walking up next to Adam you say, "Joni Mitchell good choice" he looked at the record cover flipping it in his hands.  
"Yeah my grandmother had this same record when I was a kid she really liked her."  
"She sounds like a good lady." He instantly looked at you. This time I couldn't help but notice the artistic speckled freckles across his face. He asks, "are all these records yours"  
"Yes, but most of these belonged to my grandmother. She passed when I was a kid and my grandfather couldn't keep them in the house so he gave them to me." His stare did not move almost urging me to say something else. I say, "so yeah music is really important to me I don't know where I'd be without it honestly." His look softens and he puts the record cover down almost as if he's really taking in what you said. You break the silence, "you can hang out for awhile if you want. Make yourself at home." He turns around laughing a little, "you might not want me that comfortable". Laughing you say, "it's whatever floats your boat dude" he appreciates your comment and takes his jacket off laying it across the back of the couch.

Heading into the kitchen you look in the fridge you were starving you had barely eaten today. All you had was stuff to make some pizzas. Adam is looking around the apartment at the different pictures and art hanging on the wall you ask, "would you like something to eat I'm going to make a pizza?" Adam answers, "yeah sure sounds good." Grabbing the ingredients from the fridge dough, sauce, cheese, and pepperonis and set it on the counter then setting the temperature on the oven. You wash your hands and grab a pan starting to spread the dough out. Adam asks, "do you live here alone?"  
"No, Madi and I live together, but on the weekends I basically live alone cause she's always at Peters."  
"Do you like being alone?" His question made you think for a minute. You'd never thought about it before but something about the way he asked it struck you. Thinking you hadn't really been with anyone seriously for a while and it never dawned on you that you were really alone a lot of the time. Realizing your thinking too long you say, "I don't know. I don't think people strive to be alone but some people are better at being alone than others. Honestly I don't think anyone likes to be alone." Quickly you start back adding sauce to the pizza to seem like your not over analyzing the question. Adam makes his way towards the kitchen hearing his large foot steps on the fake wood floor. "Are you good with pepperoni?" You ask and he nods with a smile. Finishing the pizza with cheese and pepperoni you stick it in the oven and set the timer. After cleaning up the mess and wiping off the counter you turn around to find Adam standing behind you leaning against the island with his large strong arms crossed. You take him in for a moment realizing how handsome he really was with his tall strong build, dark wavy hair brushing his shoulders, and those eyes staring at you again with that look like he is figuring you out.

He starts to talk, "when we were at the bar and Peter said you missed the stage before you sang with Madi. Why?" The question took you aback for a moment you didn't realize he had heard Peter say that. Your mind started to race with thoughts and memories trying to figure out how to answer the question. "Uhm I used to sing and preform different things and I don't anymore." You look up not noticing you were fidgeting with the sleeve of your cardigan. He asks, "why?"  
"I don't really talk about I just don't" he gives you a look as if he was seeing everything going on in your mind. He says again, "why?". You stare at him trying to figure out what he was trying to do and realizing in his eyes he was serious and genuinely wanted to know. You started to speak with a sigh , "when I was in college I didn't know what I wanted to do. I had the chance to get away from home because there was a lot of issues there and I took it. I had done plays and musicals in high school so that's what I studied in school. I met a couple of people in the theater program and started dating this guy." You start to fidget with your cardigan again and leaned against the opposite counter facing Adam. "He was very controlling, possessive, and selfish. We were in shows together and everything had to be his way. I would do open mic nights and apparently that was me being selfish and not dedicated to our relationship. Every performance or show I did he had to give me a critical review after. I couldn't go out, have friends, or do anything without him. This went on for about a year and a half until I found out he had been cheating on me. I was thankfully close to a teacher who helped me in the situation. I transferred colleges junior year and that's when I met Madi." You take a deep breath and look up at Adam. He let out a big breath and bit the inside of his cheek as if he was getting angry for you at your story. "I don't talk about it because I've moved on." You say with a reassuring look. He says with a rough voice, "don't let anyone be in control of your life it's fucking yours not theirs." His words melted into you calming the nerves in your chest. "I finished college getting a general studies degree with a minor in arts and shortly got my teaching certification because I wanted to help someone like my teacher helped me." His demeanor started to soften and you finished your story, "I learned my lesson the hard way you can't try to fix a selfish person that's there job or it will consume your life." The two of you stared at each other with this new sensation of understanding. Adam stepped a little closer closing some of the space between the two of you. Still looking straight into my eyes he says, "I never heard anyone sing like that before it was incredible." You didn't know what to do or say and within the same moment the timer for the pizza started going off.

Turning your body to turn the timer off. You start to look for something to get the pizza out of the oven and notice a hand stretched out holding an oven mitt. Grabbing it and looking at Adam you say softly with more than one intention, "thank you". You pull the pizza out and motion to Adam to have a seat. Cutting the pizza and putting a couple of slices on two plates you set them down in front of two chairs. Grabbing a water and offering Adam another glass of milk he accepts and you make your way to your seat. The both of you start eating and talking. He asked you more about your job and you explained that you don't have a normal classroom like other teachers. However, you are an instructional specialist, a teacher who helps students who are struggling in a certain subject area. It's your job to make sure they are getting the accommodations and extra teaching they need. As well as your role as a long turn substitute for teachers who go on maternity or paternity leave, medical reasons like illness or surgery and recovery time, or even if someone is fired.  
After hearing enough of yourself talk you asked him how he got into acting and what kind jobs he does. He told you about his first play and the plays to follow that one as well as doing a couple of commercials and a guest spot on a tv show. He then explained how he was apart of a movie but had to quit because of artistic differences which led him to do a little passion project movie. You asked, "what's the movie about?" He sighed and said, "its about one of my past relationships." You look at him hoping to read his expression all you see was unease like he doesn't know exactly how to explain it. Trying not to add to the pressure you reply, "sounds interesting I'm sure it was therapeutic." His eyes shifted back to yours and said, "yeah it was, but after that I didn't do anything for a little while till I ran into Peter one day and told me about the audition and now I'm here."

The conversation continued till all the pizza was gone. At some point you and Adam had both shifted in your chairs facing each other knees brushing every once in awhile. Adam asks, "why did you have water at the bar tonight?" That's a weird question you thought but honestly it wasn't surprising by the way the night had gone so far. You said, "I could ask you the same thing?" The look he had was like he was readying for my response he said, "I'm an alcoholic, I struggled a lot when I was young tried to fix it with other things but the last couple of years I've really worked on myself and staying sober." Listening to every word he said and understanding the importance your face expressed that. He seemed almost relieved. "Does it bother you to be around alcohol? You asked and He answered, "no". Your expression stayed kind and understanding. You said, "Ive been in enough situations that I don't feel comfortable drinking in big social situations. I'll have a glass of wine every once in awhile but other than that I don't really drink." It felt like he wanted to say something, but there was something holding him back. You look over and notice the time it's almost 3am. You haven't been up with someone this late in what felt like forever. Something about him just felt so nice and comfortable. All of a sudden you remembered the record he put on earlier. Getting up you say, "I better take this record off before it gets scratched." You walk over and pick up the needle and place it in its holder. Picking the record up and putting it back in its cover then turning off the record player. You turned around and saw that Adam had cleared the island table top and put the plates in the sink.  
"You didn't have to clean up"  
"I wanted to"  
"Well thanks"  
He walked over to the couch grabbing his jacket and saying, "it's late I should go". As he made his way to the door you slowly follow him grabbing the door as he opened it. "Thanks for letting me hang out."  
"Anytime, your pretty good company." A smile crept across his face and he started to walk through the door. Quickly he turns back around and said, "do you have plans Sunday?" You thought for a second trying to remember anything important you were supposed to do and nothing was coming to mind. "No I don't" you say with a small smile. "Meet me at Grumpy's at 10am." He says like a question you look up at him and say, "yeah sure." Adam turns to walk away then you call his name and he looks back at you.  
"Goodnight"  
With a gorgeous smile he says, "Goodnight Y/N"


	4. Chapter 4

**Adam's POV**

Its closing day of the play and I have to be there in about 2 hours. After running some errands and coming back to my apartment I put stuff away. As I go to get my stuff ready for later I hear my phone start to ring. Not sure where it is because I barely use it the searching is frustrating. Finally grabbing the phone noticing an unknown number and answering, "Hello who the fuck is this?". Suddenly a soft voice comes across the phone, "Adam hey it's Jessa". Adam instantly started to tense up feeling the anger and anxiety build in his chest. "What's up why are you calling me?". Adam had not heard anything from Jessa in months since they finally broke up. Jessa did what she does best and disappears when shit goes wrong. The relationship was toxic and Adam knew that. They both had serious issues and couldn't keep relying on the other hoping it would fix itself. Adam had already came along way growing as a person and he didn't want to go backwards. It really started to dawn on him as he had started making his movie. Jessa said she wanted to support it and be involved but couldn't handle the truth of it. We didn't last very long after that facing more and more issues as we trudged on. Taking break after break it got old and Adam knew he couldn't do it anymore especially since he had new jobs coming up and a career to focus on.

Jessa called his name again on the phone, "Adam are you there?"  
"Yeah what?", Adam said flustered.  
"I said that I've been at a facility really working on myself and different issues."  
"Okay"  
"They think it would be beneficial if I talked to you and I was hoping if maybe you could visit me tomorrow and we could talk."  
"What is there to talk about Jessa?"  
"I just. I just want to talk to you please and hopefully fix the way we left thing."  
"I don't know I have a show tonight."  
"Oh ok well I'll send you the information and if you can come that would be great."

Adam looks at his phone as he hangs up. He was completely taken aback thinking and replaying the conversation in his head. His fists start to clench and he stood there trying to take deep breaths. How was he supposed to be focused on the show tonight now. All he could think of was Jessa and what she could be up to. Adams anger got the best of him as he started to pace through the kitchen and slamming his fists down on the counter. Realizing he had a little time to spare he decided to go for a quick run to hopefully get Jessa off his mind. After his run he felt a little better however the conversation stuck in the back off his mind almost taunting him and he kept just pushing it away. He got ready for the show and headed to the theater.

Adam arrived as usual going through the backstage door heading in saying "hi" to a few people and heading straight to his dressing room. He walked in and sat down looking in the mirror trying to study his reflection like he was trying to figure out what to do. Thankfully he shared his dressing room with his co-star Peter. Adam and Peter have been friends for a while now. Peter comes in as his usual self excited and ready to perform he started getting ready and Adam took that as a cue he better get ready too. After a while Adam was finally ready, still trying to get Jessa off his mind he decided to walk around. While he makes his round stopping to chat with a few other cast members and crew he starts making his way back when a staging guy stops him, "Hey Adam will you let Peter know we need him to stop by we fixed his prop." . Adam replied, "yeah sure", as he headed straight for Madison's dressing room knowing he would be there like always. He walks up to the door knocking slowly suddenly noticing that it wasn't just Peter and Madison but someone else. The person was a woman he'd never seen before but something about her was interesting as she turned to look at who was knocking. He relayed the message to Peter and a quick comment to Madi as he walked away he heard them say, "thanks Adam".

Once the final curtain call was over Adam headed straight to his dressing room to change. Cast and crew were already celebrating backstage congratulating each other on a good show. After a good amount of people started to clear out Adam grabs his jacket and decides to go. He walked down the hall and made his way towards the door. Pushing on the door popping it open and stepping into the alley he instantly noticed the woman that was in Madi's dressing room. As he started to walk by her eyes met his locking on each other as if it was a scene from a movie. He slowly walked by eyes still locked till hers broke away as her friends came out yelling her name. Adam was making his way down the alley as Peter called his name he turned and was met by a familiar friend. Peter came up congratulating us for the show. Adam grinned trying to hide his stress from the day's events. Madison was holding on to her friend as they walked past them. We started to walk behind the two of them. Madi asks if she is going to go to the party and the friend tries to play it off however Madi won't let her get off that easy. Her friend gives in and says, "fine I'll hang out for a little bit." Her voice was so gentle. Peter asked if Adam was coming honestly he was going to skip out but something told him to go so with a sigh he said, "yeah just for a little while though."

As we are walking to the bar where the party was being held a couple of asshole kids come skating out of the alleyway. Both Madi and her friend stop walking causing their bodies to slam into Peter and I to avoid the skateboards. Before Adam even knew it he was grabbing the woman in front of him to steady her. Almost in unison everyone yelled at the kids as they faded away. Madi and Peter kept walking in their loved bliss. Adam finally lets go of the woman she apologizes for something that has nothing to do with her. Adam points out who was at fault and she laughs and points out the other assholes her friends and introduces herself. Adam, not expecting her to say that started to laugh giving her his name. Y/N and Adam started to walk together towards their destination. She complimented him on his performance and the play. He didn't want to believe but something about the way she said it he knew it was genuine. Somehow she remembers him and he is trying to figure out why he didn't remember her. She brings up Jessa and it catches him off guard and he looks at her. Adam starts to recall the memories. Peter's party was the last thing Jessa and Adam did together as a couple. Adam invited her to come with him after they had just gotten back together hoping things would be different. However it wasn't and Jessa didn't want to be a part of an insignificant birthday party even if Peter had been a good friend to Adam. Jessa thought that they could have been doing something more profound and creative than spending a day with people she didn't know. Shortly after that's when Adam finally ended it and Jessa went on one of her adventures until she called him before the play.

Adam was taken aback by the question and quickly stiffened answering. Y/N was quick to reply but did not question him respecting his answer for what it was and he appreciated it. Finally reaching the party everyone goes their separate ways greeting people, chatting, drinking, and Adam had started to have his fill until he noticed her sitting at the bar. He had never seen someone seem so content sitting alone and something drew him to her. Next thing he knew he was stepping up to the bar next to her. He thought how put together and casual she seemed but by the way she watched people he knew there was more to it. She greeted him with that same gentle tone Adam reciprocated then asking what she was doing over here. She shifted slighting looking into his eyes and simply said she needed a break. Adam understood exactly what she meant. Just then the bartender came to take our order without hesitation. He answered just a water his eyes flew to hers when he heard her say the same. Adam stared at her trying to figure out what it is about her that is so interesting. She was giving him the same look and after a moment that bartender returned not accepting her money she shoves it in his tip jar. Adam follows suit and lets the comforting silence build between them. She asks how long I knew Peter and I explained. Peter made his way over to us. He had been drinking and having a good time leading us to the table he got for us all to sit at.

However before anyone could sit Madi was making her way around dragging everyone to dance. Adam watched as Madi grabbed Y/N's arm barely allowing her to put her water down. The two of them made their way to the center of the room following the flow of the music. Adam couldn't help but notice the way her body moved with the music. It was as if she was a perfect fall leaf flowing in the wind. The way her hips moved from side to side so smoothly he didn't even know how long he was watching because now Madi had made her second round of recruitments. Adam liked to dance but wasn't really feeling it tonight but here was Madi not taking no for an answer so he gave up fighting. As he made his way onto the dance floor his eye locked with hers. After awhile our paths crossed Adam outstretched his arm offering her his hand to dance with him she playfully accepted. Adam spun her and felt her body glide side to side effortlessly with his. As the beat changed so did their dance moves both staying close together. As we danced Y/N's face lit up with a gorgeous smile that spewed authenticity. Madison had made her way back to Y/N stealing her away for another dance. By this point Adam needed another water making his way finding Peter and a couple other crew members by the bar and joined them.

Everyone had mostly cleared the dance floor and Adam and Peter started making their way towards the table. You looked so content sitting alone again Adam thought as he and Peter sat down at the table. Noticing no sign of Madi she asks Peter where she is and within the same breath a Karaoke set up was getting started everyone was excited except Adam. He glanced at Y/N noticing how well she held herself together but he noticed the nerves creep around her eyes. After a couple of drunken serenades a song started to play and he noticed Y/N tense up across the table eyes wide as Madi made her way over with two microphones begging her to join. She protested till Peter said, "come on you know you miss the stage" and it was as if those words held so much power over her. Y/N took a deep breath and collected herself and grabbed the microphone. Madi sang the beginning of the song and the chorus. Adams eyes were glued to her unmoving so focus on what she was doing. He couldn't look away and as she started to sing the most gorgeous sound flowed from her mouth. It was just like her speaking voice gentle and unique however it had a tone that just hits you like the most interesting story you've ever heard needing every single detail. The more the song went on the more comfortable she got but the whole thing was so fantasizing to Adam.

As the night went on more people did karaoke and started to mingle again. Adam got up from the table and made a couple of rounds talking with people. Suddenly he got a notification on his phone he checked it out and it was an email from Jessa. Informing him on the facility information and visiting hours. Adam was instantly irritated and decided that he had enough. He said goodbye to a few people and started for the door as he noticed Y/N slip through unnoticed. As he got outside he saw her waiting at the corner for the light slowly making his way and stepping beside her. He felt her eyes shift to see who was next to her. We exchanged banter and her voice started to ease his irritation. The crosswalk signals and we broth cross walking down the street in the same direction being consumed by the comfortable silence. We get to a corner and she starts to turn to walk on her own. Adams' eyes look around and realizes how late it is insisting he walks her home. She seemed confused why he would do that but there was no way he was going to let her walk home alone this late. They kept walking awhile then she complimented him again on his performance. Adam really didn't think he was that great tonight but when he glanced at her he could tell she was being honest. He asked her what she did for work and she answered, "I am a teacher's assistant at a local school." Something instantly ran through his head, _I wish I had a teacher in school that looked like you._ Amused at his own thought he replied "Wow really?" almost in disbelief. She assured him explaining and he mentioned how busy that seemed but instantly her eyes lit up as she said how much she liked it.

We finally made it to her apartment she thanked Adam again and as she started to turn something in him didn't want to let her leave so quickly. He started to ask if he could use her bathroom. He didn't think she would be that open to letting someone she just met into her apartment but within a moment she answered yes leading the way. Stepping into her apartment he notices the simplistic and appealing decorations. Adam had been in many girls apartments and has never really cared for all the stuff they had everywhere but as he stepped in he instantly felt comfortable. She motioned down the hall to the bathroom. Adam went in and as he washed his hand looking in the mirror. Thoughts were running through his head. What is it about this girl? I haven't been interested in anyone since Jessa. I should be focused on dealing with my career and not meeting someone new. She is so different. After shaking the thoughts free and joining her back in the middle of her apartment she offered a drink. Adam took the milk and started looking around he found her record collection. He glanced at a few thinking there were so many. Her soft voice said, "pick something and put it on" then she disappeared for a moment. As she was gone his fingers flipped through the stack of records on the little table and stopped when he noticed the Joni Mitchell album. It was instant memories of his grandmother playing this record when he was a kid that started to flood his mind. He loved his grandmother who always took care of him even if his relationship with his parents were not good. Taking the record out of the cover and placing it on the player the sound filled his ears and a feeling of nostalgia hit his chest. Y/N stepped next to him commenting on his choice. She changed her pants and he noticed the way they cling to the curves of her hips. He explained why he picked the record she commented saying, "she sounds like a good lady." Her comment struck him; he looked her in the eyes, noticing how pretty they were filled with honesty and something else, something that sucked him in. She explained her collection of records understanding their importance. She offered for him to stay; he enjoyed her playful comments.

He started looking around her apartment, stopping to look at the pictures hanging as she makes her way in the kitchen offering to make him something to eat. Adam realized he was hungry and accepted her offer of pizza. He slowly made his way across the room asking if she lived alone and if she liked being alone. After a moment she replied with an answer that made him think, _was he just used to being alone or was he better at being alone_? Suddenly he was making his way into the kitchen. He leaned on the island behind her watching her move around and put the pizzas in the oven then she turned around. He couldn't help himself but he had to ask what Peter meant when he said she missed the stage. He noticed her tense up and averted her eyes. This is a personal topic he thought. She tried to brush it off with simple short answers but something in him needed to know and he kept that straight face and asked why. Finally she explained the situation filling him with anger and frustration. How could someone be so selfish and weak to diminish someone else's life. Adam crossed his arms tensing up and explained his thoughts. Her eyes focused on him taking in what he said and she continued. Adam started to calm the more she talked focusing on her gentle tone. Her words rang through this head, "I learned my lesson the hard way you can't try to fix a selfish person that's there job or it will consume your life." He stared at her the feeling of really understanding what she said washed over him. Instinctively he stepped closer as the space between them started to close. Adam expresses his amazement for how talented she was and it was like she froze in disbelief. The timer for the pizza began to ring.

The rest of the night went by so fast just enjoying her company and talking. It felt so easy to talk to her as if I've known her for forever. Adam was completely enthralled as she excitedly explained her job and in turned asked him about his projects. He told her how he started acting and enjoys doing plays and picked up a couple tv gigs doing commercials and a guest spot. He also went on to talk about doing the movie and quit which got him to do his own movie. Adam was hesitant when she asked what it was about which he answered. She didn't pry or ask questions, she simply stated what she thought which eased his mind. The night continued for a while just talking and Adam was wondering why she didn't drink at the party because he knew why he didn't. She seemed interested and spinned the question around on him. He didn't hesitate because he knew he had to be honest and explained he was an alcoholic. Waiting for her reply thinking it was going to bother her the look on her face was filled with compassion and understanding. She went on to explain why she didn't drink and he reciprocated her response to him. A moment went by and she got up to put the record up and he glanced at the time it was late. Adam did not mean to stay that late so he decided to clean up the table for her. She noticed his actions and sounded surprised as she thanked him. He decided he should probably leave grabbing his jacket and making his way towards the door not wanting to take up anymore of her night. She followed him to the door as he thanked her for the night and she complimented him on his company. As he was stepping through the doorway and before he could complete the thought the words were coming out of his mouth asking her if she was free on Sunday. She took a moment to think and with a smile she said yes. Hoping to leave before he screwed up he turned walking away and he heard his name. Turning around he was met with a sweet smile and that voice again saying goodnight. All he could do was smile so big and say, "Goodnight Y/N" and go on his way as the whole night starts playing in his head over and over again.

It was Saturday morning and Adam was stressing about what to do about Jessa's visitation. If it was anyone else he would have probably just let it go but he knew Jessa and knew that because she was an addict it was important to be supportive of her. He finally decided to go and just listen to what she had to say and go. When he arrived he noticed that the facility wasn't as hippie as he thought it was going to be and made his way into the meeting area waiting for her. After a little bit of waiting Jessa made her way over to Adam. She was wearing a light yellow top and pants set with one of her kimonos over it. To Adam she seemed healthy and stable but he was still concerned about what she was going to say. As she sat down, his jaw clenched and she spoke with that accent, "Adam, thank you so much for coming. I've really been working on stuff and I wanted to tell you about it." He simply nodded for her to go on with what she wanted to say and she continued. "I wanted to tell you that I've been doing better with my anger and listening. I've been doing these therapy sessions talking about all my issues with my dad and I've been feeling so much pressure off my shoulders." Adam started to shift in his chair. _Is she only going to talk about this the whole time?_ He thought. Jessa started to talk again "look I know that things between us haven't always been great but you are important to me. I left because I didn't know what you wanted from me. I let you go figure out what you needed from Hannah and after that things changed." Adam couldn't hold himself back. "You didn't know what I fucking wanted maybe a happy relationship. And things weren't going that great before I tried to figure things out with Hannah; it was just one of the tipping points." Jessa was a little startled by his tone, "yes I understand that but what did you expect from me just to stay and go with the flow." Adam leaned forward trying not to make a scene, "how about trying to fix the shit that was happening." Jessa leaned forward as well saying quickly, "I didn't know what to fix and I didn't know if I wanted to fix it." All of a sudden Y/N's words floated around his mind, _"you can't fix selfish people it's their job or it will consume your life."_ Adam knew he wasn't perfect but he knew Jessa wasn't going to take on what she was responsible for right now. He looked at her and said, "email me if you really want to discuss something important instead of arguing and blaming me for everything". In the same moment he stood up and started to walk away as Jessa stood and said, "Adam I still care about you." He kept walking and fists tightening as he walked away trying to figure out if he believed her or if she ever really cared about him to begin with.


	5. Chapter 5

It was Sunday and the eagerness to meet Adam was settling into your chest. You were not fond of meeting new people and putting yourself out there but there was something about Adam that made you feel so warm and welcome. That wasn't a feeling you were familiar with only when you were working with your students at school. Saturday all you could think about was the events from the night before. A text rang through your bedroom as you rustled around in bed that morning. Checking it was from Madison.  
"Thanks for hanging out last night. It was so much fun. I hope you got home safe. JK I know you did. I saw Adam and you walking down the street! OMG you have to tell me everything!"  
Rolling your eyes as you read thinking, of course you saw now she'll never drop it. Then replying, "I had fun too! Thanks for the invite! Also there is nothing to tell we just hung out."  
A few minutes went by and Madi texted you back, "There is always something to tell. Also don't work too hard today." Your heart swelled at her concern. She knew you so well and how you usually spend your Saturdays completely consumed with personal lesson plans for your students or grading. Texting her back not knowing how well you would commit, "I wont I promise. Love ya!" and receiving quickly, "You better! Love ya too!"  
Without missing a beat you started into your normal Saturday routine of putting on a record today's selection was Heart 1976 Dreamboat Annie album. Letting the late 70's soft rock sound fill your apartment you headed into the kitchen to make a bowl of cereal. After grabbing your bowl you take a seat by one of your living area's big windows to watch people fill the streets as you enjoy your favorite cereal. Once you finish your breakfast you set the bowl in the sink noticing the plates Adam had put there the night before. Suddenly your thoughts were filled with his smile, laugh, and the way he looked at you filling you with that warm feeling. You try to focus on something else as you gather your work bags you stashed away getting settled to dive deep into your work. The day went by fast like usual slowly shifting around your apartment as you grade work, write lesson plans, and answer emails. Getting up to stretch your legs and switch your records every once in a while playing through David Bowie's 1972 The Rise of Ziggy Stardust album, Stevie Nicks' 1981 Bella Donna album, Cher's 1987 Cher album, and Billy Joel's 1977 The Stranger album. Finally realizing you've worked your day away again so happy that Madi wasn't here to bother you for working so much. You decided to eat some leftovers and switch on the tv catching an old movie just starting you settle in and call it a night.

Sunday was here and all you could think about was seeing Adam again. You couldn't tell if you were nervous because you were openly hanging out with someone new or if there was something more to it. Not wanting to get caught up in your thoughts you decide to figure out what you were going to wear. Heading into your bedroom and looking into your tiny closet. Debating on what to wear you think about the fall season and check the weather and it's supposed to be a cool beautiful day. Finally you decide on a slightly distressed mid thigh faded jean skirt with one of your favorite slightly oversized sweaters. Looking around your room you find your vans and toss them by the door then make your way into the bathroom to finish the look. You apply your simple makeup routine and assess your hair in the mirror sighing in relief as you're able to properly refresh it with no issues actually happy with the way it looks. Making your way to your door checking the time it was 9:25am perfect timing. Slipping your classic vans on and grabbing your small purse you head out the door. As you walk to the café you slip in your headphones to help relieve some nervous anxiety Journey's Ask the Lonely starts to play.

Arriving at the café you step inside looking at your phone you were a little early but the line was a little long so you had to wait anyway. Taking your place in line you notice your standing behind a mother and her small son who was holding what looked like a superhero toy. Anywhere you go it's like children are gravitated towards you like they instantly know you're a teacher by just looking at you. Standing a respectful distance in line you notice the boy looking at you and because you can't help it you give him a small smile and wink. He instantly lights up saying "hi" in that cute little kid voice. The mother turns around and apologizes if he was bothering you immediately saying, "no not at all I'm a teacher I work with all different aged kids." You decide to crouch down becoming face to face with the child asking about his toy. The mother seemed relieved and let you converse with her son. The boy lit up explaining everything his superhero did explaining, "look how he flies in the air" making his arms sway in the air as his superhero flies. You heard the door open behind you but didn't pay any attention as you were not wanting to break the conversation between the boy and you. He kept talking and you asked questions and listened till it was time for the line to move. Little did you know that Adam was standing behind you observing the whole conversation.

You start to stand up and shift back slightly, not realizing someone was behind you bumping into them. Something about the encounter felt familiar as a hand went to your lower back stabilizing you. Full embarrassment washed over your body as you realized what happened. Looking up to find it was Adam he let out a laugh saying, "I won't always be around to catch you." You felt the heat in your cheeks trying to quietly laugh it off you say, "oh hi, sorry". He returned the smile and said, "hi" as he stepped next to you in line. The line slightly moved leaving one person ordering in front of the mother and son. She turns to speak to you, "thank you for talking to my son. He sometimes struggles with social interactions and talking to people but I can tell you know how to deal with kids." You answer quickly, "it's my pleasure he's a sweet kid. I've worked with kids with those same struggles before but I try to just focus on the child and treat them as anyone else getting on their level to interact with them." Her face showed relief asking you a couple of questions about schooling and different programs you answered to the best of your abilities. During your conversation you learned that the boys name was Max and the mother was Julie. As you finished talking the line started to move again and your eyes shifted when you noticed Adam playing superheroes with the boy while you were talking. The whole situation made a big smile grow across your face. Julie asked Max to join her as they ordered and Adam stood up next to you as the both of you waited your turn to order. When they were done ordering Julie flashed a smile and said thanks and Adam stepped up to the counter. The owner you've seen before when you came by a couple times to grab a quick coffee was there taking orders. Before you could say anything the owner was greeting Adam.  
"Hey Adam. How are you? Haven't seen you in a while."  
"Yeah I've been busy figuring things out. Just finished a play. It was really good."  
"That's great. Where's Jessa thought y'all were inseparable?"  
That word stuck in your mind. Inseparable. You noticed Adam stiffen beside you a little.  
"We haven't been together for awhile now. Anyways this is Y/N. Y/N this is Ray."  
Your eyes we're going back and forth during the whole exchange finally focusing on Ray giving a greeting smile and shaking his hand. "Hi nice to meet you" you said and he nodded adding, "yeah you too. What can I get for you.?" You thought for just a second and decided to go with your normal a caramel latte. Ray nodded and asked Adam he just ordered a cup of milk and a water. You start to grab your card when Adam puts his large hand stopping your arm saying "I got this" you said, " you don't have to I got it." Quickly he answered saying, "I want to" looking at you again with that same look that filled you with feelings you weren't used to. You grin with a simple "thanks" he accepted and let go of your arm paying Ray.

Adam and you shift down the bar waiting for your order. He leans against the counter taking a deep breath as some of the nerves roll off his chest. Adam was excited to see you again but the scenes of his meeting with Jessa kept playing through his mind. His thoughts were running rampant. _Why did I even bother going to see her? She was the one who told me to figure things out with Hannah. How am I the one to blame for this? Why would she tell me she cares about me?_ Adam tried to focus on seeing Y/N. He got up Sunday morning hoping for a good day doing his normal routine then deciding to get ready. After hopping out of the shower drying his muscular frame and hair off. He throws his towel on the bathroom floor then pulls on some briefs. Walking into his bedroom he puts on some dark jeans and a grey long sleeve shirt and his favorite brown lace up boots. Adam walked up to the café just a few minutes before 10 hoping she wasn't there just yet. He opened the door and instantly saw you talking to the little boy. He was surprised to see you already here, but was enjoying the view of you bent over speaking with that gentle voice and your skirt inching higher on your thigh. Adam took you all in as he stepped closer in line watching the way your hair moved as you spoke. As he took another step so did you standing up shifting backwards. Without hesitation Adams hands were bracing you from falling and let a small laugh out. He could see the embarrassment wash over you. He was quick to play it off which relieved him as your gorgeous smile grew across your face.

The barista making orders was pretty quick so you didn't have to wait long till your coffee was ready. Grabbing the cup and taking the lid off and slightly blowing to cool off your latte before you drink it. You look up and Adam is staring at you with a smirk. Slightly squinting your eyes you say, "what?" Adam shakes his head just a little and says nothing. _It was something he was thinking about how easily stunning you were._ You smirked and turned to find a secluded table to sit at with Adam following behind you. The both of you sit and get settled with your drinks sipping slowly Adam asks how your Saturday was and you answered shrugging your shoulders, "fine I had a lot of work to do. How was yours?". Adam moved in his chair a little leaning forward pressing his chest and upper arms against the table looking right in your eyes, "it kind of sucked ass". You looked back at him with empathy in your eyes, "you can talk about it if you want to." Adam really thought about it for a moment because he felt your generosity and compassion pour out of you as you spoke but he decided he should let it be, "thanks but im fine. Do you always work on the weekends?" When people ask that you usually always lie so you don't look bad however when talking to Adam you feel you could be completely honest without judgment. Shamefully putting your hands over your face answering, "yes, but I can't help it once I start I have to finish. Madi gets mad at me for bringing work home." Pulling your hands down looking at him he says, "as long as you think its worth it do whatever the fuck you want." you felt that unfamiliar feeling fill your stomach as you listened to him speak. You ask, "tell me about what you do with your free time." He straightens up and names off a couple things, " I go to AA meetings, run, woodworking, and whatever actors do." You were interested so you asked, "what kind of woodworking do you do?" he answered quickly, "uhm really anything whatever I feel like at the time. I tried to build a raft in my apartment once." you took a moment to really think about what he said, "a raft in your tiny ass apartment?" starting to really genuinely laugh he replies, "yeah I think about it now it wasn't the best idea" now you join his laughter as you both share glances savoring the moment. You both continue to talk for a while discussing a variety of topics that came up. It was like both of you didn't want to be the center of attention but were equally so interested in the other person you had to know more.

After both of you were finished with your drinks for a while the two of you agree to get up from the table. Making it outside Adam asks if you had any other plans for the day and you said, "no not really just thought I would go by the farmers market before going home. Did you have plans?" Adam turned his body facing you with that attractive smirk looking down at you, " No. Let's go to the farmers market." With an enormous smile you say, "great let's go" leading the way as Adam walks closely next to you. It felt nice walking through the streets with someone else instead of your headphones keeping you company. When the two of you reached the farmers market it was filled with so many different stands. Starting at the closest stand you were drawn towards the fall flowers in bloom. Looking all around there were iris, chrysanthemums, marigolds, carnations, hydrangeas, sunflowers, and one of your favorite orange lilies. Grabbing a few smelling them and remembering their importance, "these flowers would grow in my grandparents backyard when I was growing up." Adam looks at you completely focused on what you're saying and answering, "you should get some". You thought for a moment and decided to put them back saying, "that's ok they would probably die before I got to really enjoy them." Turning around and heading towards the next stand it was filled with an assortment of jelly. Adam comes up next to you starting to look at all the different flavors. "Look they have samples, let's try a few" you nod in agreement and the both of you start to taste test each flavor giving your professional food critic opinion while laughing at how ridiculous the two of you sounded. You both agree that the classic grape is the best but apricot was a close second, and you decide to buy a small jar of the grape. Making your way through the next couple stands just looking and speaking to a couple of the merchants just discussing niceties. Towards the end of the market was what you came for to grab a couple fruits and vegetables. You start to examine a few cucumbers thinking you could make some chips or put them in a salad. The merchant sees you looking them over, "these were my biggest cucumbers in years and are very healthy on the inside" you give her a kind smile just then Adam says, "Shit those are huge what are you going to do with those." you slightly laugh with the kind smile turning into a playful one jokingly saying, "trust me I can handle how big they are". Adam was impressed and a little turned on by the subtle innuendo. He narrowed his eyes looking at you matching your playful smile and you decided to get two cucumbers.

Adam and you go through the rest of the market stand picking up a couple apples, bananas, carrots, and a head of lettuce. The whole time you soaked up Adam's funny chaotic energy. The way he walked, talked, and the way he looked at life just opened your eyes to the lack of warmth and excitement in yours. You loved your job and friends but there was something missing in your life and you've battled that feeling for a while. Not opening up and not allowing new people in but there was something about Adam that just broke all those barriers down. Adam was captivated by the way Y/N shopped in the market watching every move she made in that skirt. He loved the way she mingled and interacted with the people of the market not being too outgoing but was ready to give a friendly smile. Adam also noticed how well she was able to keep up with his disorganized liveliness. Lastly he couldn't get over that she kept getting more impressive as the day went on. At some point the two of you made it towards the end of the market making one last stop to look at the pumpkins they put on palettes. Adam says, "I'll be right back." as he turns around running back towards the market. You don't think anything off it just thought he was going to go back and pick up the book about wood he was looking at earlier. Starting to look around the pumpkins you decide to grab two small ones because it's fall why not. By this point you gave the cash to the vendor then stuck the pumpkins in your bag. Suddenly a large hand grasped the small of your back turning you to come face to face the best you could with Adam. With a surprised smile you said, "where did you go? You weren't here to stop me from getting pumpkins." Without saying a thing Adam handed you two lovely orange lilies. Adam searched your eyes hoping for a good reaction. You were truly surprised no one had ever surprised you with flowers before. Your heart was pounding in your chest, finally opening your mouth you couldn't hide the pure joy that was pouring out. "Holy shit Adam you shouldn't have. Thank you." He returned a giddy smile grabbing your hand and taking the bag of stuff you had bought and replaced it with the flowers. His hand not leaving your lower back you both turn to start walking he says, "let me walk you home."

The walk back to your apartment was pretty nice filled with the comfortable feeling so that neither of you felt like you had to talk or it would be weird. Every once in a while something would come up and the two of you would share a laugh or a glance. Making it up the stairs stopping at your door searching for your keys finally finding them you turn around facing Adam who was almost towering over you in the cramped hallway.  
"Thank you again for the flowers. No one has ever gotten flowers for me before."  
"Why? You deserve flowers cause your fucking awesome."  
Trying not to blush a slightly embarrassed smile tugged at your lips not wanting to accept the words he was saying. You just slightly shifted closer to him closing some of the space.  
"Well I had a really great day."  
"I did too." He noticed your shift and tried to close more space in between the two of you.  
Almost in the same instance the door to your apartment swings open. Madi is standing there with a shocking look on her face. "Well hello. I was wondering where you were. I heard someone at the door and thought it was Mrs. Jones from downstairs." you turn to give her fuck you eyes and then she looks at Adam. "Hey Adam good to see you. Y/N i'm really glad your home though I started to cook something I found on Pintrest and I think I burnt it." You knew she was telling the truth because there was a smell that started to flow out of the apartment. Letting out a big sigh you say, "Here take this bag and put the stuff away I stopped by the farmers market on the way home and please just go turn the stove off and I will come help." You grab the bag from Adam with a remorseful look and hand it to Madi who was too giddy for her own good. Motioning for her to go with the flowers in your hand and then closing the door behind her.  
"I am so sorry about her." embarrassment flooded your cheeks instantly looking anywhere but Adams eyes. Without hesitation Adam had one hand on your hip pulling you closer while the other held your cheek as he guided your lips towards his meeting you in the middle. Both of your lips were moving together like they've been waiting to kiss each other for a lifetime. Just like his build his lips were strong but moved with yours easily. Adam was moving before he even realized he was; he just knew he couldn't hold back anymore. He savored the kiss as you accepted him right away confused at how soft and compassionate your lips were. Within a moment you both were tangled together as your hands moved around his neck and twisting a few pieces of his hair between your fingers. He lets out a low hum that made goosebumps cover your body. The hand that was holding on your waist was now caressing your ass as you pressed your body against him. Another moment goes by and you both need air releasing the other. Just looking at each other with that same look you shared the first night you met. The one where you were trying to figure the other one out. You step back and straighten your skirt a little with a smirk on your face. Adam says, "I better let you go help Madison" you answer. " yeah I should or she will bust out here again." you both share a small laugh."Bye Y/N"  
"Bye Adam."


	6. Chapter 6

After the kiss with Adam you slid through your apartment door closing it quickly then catching your breath. There was nothing you could do to hide the exhilaration rushing through your body. _I have never been kissed like that before_ , you thought as you leaned against the door. _His hands on my body and lips that moved so effortlessly with mine_ , these thoughts just spinning around in your head. Madi notices you and says, "Now spill I told you there is always something to tell." You roll your eyes and head towards the kitchen to see the damage she's done with her cooking. "I don't know what you want me to tell you. We hung out for a little bit here after the party the other night then we got coffee and went to the farmers market together. Is that a crime or something?", you say with a sarcastic tone. Madi points at your hand, "where did you get those?" Looking down you notice your still holding the lilies Adam got you. Slightly blushing you answer, "Adam got these for me at the market." You turn to look in the cabinet for a small vase. Once you found one adding some water then nicely putting the flowers in. Madison knew you too well there was no point in trying to play this off. She gets closer to you, "stop playing did you two fuck?" Your eyes immediately meet hers, "No we didn't. We just hung out." Taking a breath as a goofy grin forms, "we did kiss before I came in". That piece of information sent Madi into a frenzy with a hundred questions. How was the kiss? Is he a good kisser? Are you going to see him again? Do you like him? Do you want to fuck him? You really loved your best friend and how much she cared about you but sometimes she was too much. With an annoyed voice,  
"God Madi I don't know. We just met."  
"Yeah and I need answers."  
"Fine, the kiss was more than good. I hope to see him again. Of course I like him. I wouldn't be willing to hang out with someone I just met if I didn't. Also, I mean I wouldn't mind fucking him." Your whole face lit up as you answered. Madi was quiet for a second and looked at you. Both your eyes met and suddenly laughter filled your entire apartment.  
"Damn girl. You got it bad. I mean I don't blame you. He is hot but he's also funny, nice, and a little weird."  
"Yeah well like I said we just met and I just want to see where it goes."  
"I understand. I just want you to find someone to do life with. You know? Because you deserve it!"  
"Yeah ok Thanks. We'll see how it plays out.", you say with a shrug and eyes that say I'm done. The both of you clean up the kitchen and salvage what's left from Madi's burnt food. After dinner and watching a little late night tv you decide to head to bed. You grab the little vase with the lilies in it and set it on the window sill in your bedroom before climbing into bed.

Your week was going by just as quickly as it started. Monday was busy with staff meetings about some new curriculum the district wants to start implementing. Tuesday was hectic as ever with student check ins and phone conferences with different parents discussing their child's progress. Wednesday came and went with students' semester assessments. Thursday was finally here and was starting off so rewarding. One of your kindergarten speech delay students read through their first reader with little help or prompting. Even though your week was so busy every second that wasn't focused on work was consumed with thoughts about Adam.  
 _Should I call him? He probably doesn't really like me; he is just being nice because he's friends with Peter. Why would he go back and get me flowers no one has done that? His hair felt so soft in my fingers. I want to feel his lips on mine again. Why hasn't he called me? I probably screwed up somehow. I should just go ahead and move on. He doesn't have time for me with his career. I do really like his smile and laugh._

Thoughts nonstop every second you take a moment to collect yourself during the day. Once your thursday workday was over you decided to try to get out as soon as possible so you didn't take your lunch break, and worked on your lessons and activities for the next day while replying to emails instead. When you were leaving you were able to catch the 4pm train which rarely happens enjoying the ride with your headphones in listening to Limelight by Rush. You didn't always take the subway only when you wanted to get home as quickly as possible or when you needed to stop by the store on the way home like today. After grabbing the few things you needed from the store you head home. On the way your phone starts to ring. You start to dig your phone out of your pocket thinking it's probably Madi wondering when you'll be home but to your surprise it's not it's Adam.  
"Hello"  
"Hey Teach. What are you doing?"  
"On my way home about to put a new bookshelf together that Madi lost the instructions to."  
"I can put it together."  
"No, it's fine. I can do it. I'll just watch a couple YouTube videos and figure it out."  
"You don't have to do everything you know."  
His words hit your chest hard because that's all you knew. Growing up you did everything and you knew how to figure it out so you didn't have to ask for help or bother people. You were quiet for a moment thinking.  
"Adam, I'm sure you have better things to do."  
"I really do. Which is helping you with your bookshelf. When do you want me over?  
With a sigh, "fine, just come over whenever I just got to my building."  
"Great see you in a little bit. Also my services are not free. We can establish forms of payment later" You could actually fill his big ridiculous smile through the phone. Letting out a laugh you say, "Oh really well don't worry I will personally make sure you are compensated for your work."  
"Can't wait. Bye"  
"Bye"

When you got into your apartment you saw the piled bookshelf pieces stacked in the corner. You put your stuff away and decide to change out of your work clothes and find something more comfortable. Heading into your bedroom you decide to throw on some leggings and a band tshirt. Putting away your dirty clothes you notice the lilies still sitting in your window and how well they are still doing. You decide to grab the vase and place it in the middle of the kitchen table to be seen by everyone who comes into the apartment. Quickly you pick up some stuff laying around making sure it doesn't look like slobs live here. After that you remember Madi's text she sent you right before you left work.  
"Hey won't be home till late tonight. My sister needed help at her book store and Peter wanted to go grab dinner. Also I left a load of towels down stairs in the dryer by accident please grab them. Thanks so much!"  
Realizing you start to head downstairs feeling absolutely grateful that your apartment has a small laundry room. Carrying the laundry basket and heading down the stairs you see Adam coming through the buildings front doors. The two of you meet at the bottom and exchange a smile.  
"Hey"  
"Hey"  
Adam and you both just stand there for a moment taking each other in remembering the last time you saw each other. I mean kissed each other. Breaking the silence you tell him you're just grabbing some laundry. Adam follows you down the hallway all the way to the small laundry room. The both of you enter and you head towards the same machine Madi and you always use. Adam finds a spot to lean his back on the wall next to the dryer. You open the dryer door and start to pull a towel out and fold it quickly and toss it into the laundry basket. Adam couldn't keep his eyes off of you watching every move you make. He wanted to call you right away the next day after the kiss but he was holding back. He remembered how quickly and relentlessly he fought to be with Jessa and didn't want to make a mistake because you were different like he knew you somehow. He watched you come down the stairs so effortlessly beautiful just being you. At the same time scenes from the kiss flashed in his mind. Turning to follow you just watching the way your body fits in those leggings like when you changed that first night in your apartment after the party. Adam couldn't get enough of you, but didn't want to rush anything like last time. He waited to call and secretly hoped you would call but he knew you had a real job and didn't want to interrupt your life. Adams week so far was uneventful, just the normal going to an AA meeting, visiting his sister and niece, and constantly thinking about you and wondering when he was going to see you again.

You only had a couple of towels left when you heard someone come down the hall and enter the laundry room. Looking back you notice it is Mrs. Jones the old lady who lives on the first floor.  
"Hi Mrs. Jones. How are you?" you greet her with a kind smile.  
"Hello Dear. I've been really good. Talked to my grandson this morning and he asked about you again." Adam's eyes looked at the old lady listening intently.  
"Oh really what did you say to him?"  
"I told him to stop being a little shit and maybe girls would give him a chance. Y/N is too good for you and you're wasting your time." Adam couldn't hold back his laughter and you joined him.  
"Now Y/N tell me who this is?" she said pointing towards Adam.  
"This is my friend Adam. Adam this is Mrs. Jones.", Adam added, "Hi its nice to meet you"  
"Oh it sure is nice to meet you. Look at you. How handsome, tall, and strong." she said as she walked closer to the two of you. Adam slightly shifts letting out an adorable nervous laugh.  
Mrs. Jones looked at you, "Your friend?" in a tone of don't try to pull one over on me.  
"Yes my friend." you say trying to play it off. She looks back at Adam, "I like you. You remind me of my late husband. He wasn't as handsome but there is something about you." Adam smiled, "thanks" he said quickly not sure what was coming next. You finished the towels and grabbed the laundry basket. Mrs. Jones starts on her laundry when you walk by.  
"Have a good night Mrs. Jones"  
"Don't forget dinner on Sunday. Bring your friend if you want."  
"I would never forget. Let me know if you want me to bring something."  
"I will. Now you two have fun" she added in a playful voice as she watches Adam and you leave towards your apartment.

Going up the stairs to your apartment Adam says, "I like her". You smiled and added, "Yeah me too. She reminds me of my grandmother."  
"Why are you having dinner with her on Sunday?"  
"Her grandkids don't really ever visit, so once a month I make sure to go over and spend a little time with her."  
Adam didn't know how to respond. It was one of the most selfless things he had ever heard. Selfless was another word he added to the growing list of things he liked about you because it wasn't something he was used to. By this point the two of you were back in your apartment. You set the clean towels out of the way and directed Adam to the piled bookshelf pieces. "Here you might need this" you hand him a small tool box filled with different screwdrivers, nails, hammer, tape measure, and a couple other miscellaneous items. Adam was impressed that you even had a tool box he had stuck a screwdriver in his pocket before he left just in case. Standing next to each other both trying to figure out the best plan to get the job done you say,  
"I kept everything alike together hoping that would be the best way to keep from losing everything."  
"Well you did lose the instructions" Adam said with a small laugh.  
"Hey that was not me it was Madi. She would lose her head if it wasn't attached."  
"Oh I know during rehearsals I think she asked me every day if I saw where she put her props." You both look at each other smiling. Without breaking eye contact you say,  
"Where should we start." Adam starts to shuffle through the pieces and grabs the thickest piece and explains this is the base and then starts searching for the two side panels. You move to the opposite side facing him and grab the two long side pieces. "I think these are it" you placed them standing up against the wall. Adam says, "Now this piece here is the top of the bookshelf because it looks like the bottom piece but it's thinner." Adam moves around the pieces and sets them in place telling you in a low voice, "stand here and hold this together like this". He slowly grabs your hands with his moving them to hold the wooden pieces together. Adam looked at you for a moment with a small grin, "don't move". In that moment it was like you were frozen watching every movement he made as he grabbed the screwdriver and some screws. He bent down screwing in the first couple on the bottom of one side and then moving to the other side. Adam was trying to focus the best he could as he was twisting the screwdriver he brushed the side of your leg sending chills up your back. Standing now Adam almost towers over you still carefully screwing the top parts together moving just slightly closer. He grabs the top piece and places it in the right position and steps directly behind you. With his large hands moving yours to hold the top piece saying again with that low tone, "don't move". You take a breath seeing both his arms reach from behind you placing a screw in place and starting to twist it in. Adam moved just slightly closer, barely brushing his chest against your back as he started to twist the screw in. He was reveling in the moment watching every breath you take. You could feel every little hot breath he let out as he twisted the screw hitting the back of your neck. A rush washed over your body but you made sure you did not move.

Once Adam finished the top part he moved back around the half put together bookshelf facing you. "You can let go now. All we have left is the shelves and the backing." you instantly let go shaking your arms out from holding them in place for so long. Adam starts to put the brackets in their spots and you come behind him setting the shelves in place. Lastly, Adam grabs the backing and uses the finishing nails in your tool box to tack it in place. You guide Adam where to put the bookshelf watching him so effortlessly slide it into place against the wall.  
"Thank you, It's perfect."  
"No problem." He says looking down at you with that adorable smile.

After picking up the leftover mess of extra screws, tools, and tool box you use your foot to push and slide the box of books out of your bedroom. Adam laughed at your struggle and walked over and picked it up as if it was nothing. "I could have gotten that"  
"Yeah right cause you just like to push shit around for fun."  
"Maybe". Adam, not believing anything you were saying decides to start unpacking the books.  
"Where do you want these."  
"Just put the authors together. Madi will come back and rearrange them later." the two of you work together to unload the box of books asking which ones the other had read and liked. Emptying the box and seeing that most of the bookshelf was full you were grateful for the help. You convinced Adam to let you order some takeout from a place close by. When it arrived shortly the two of you settled in at the table eating dinner and talking. Adam asked you how your day was and he loved seeing the way your face lit up when you started talking about the student's you helped during your day. You asked Adam what he's been up to and he explained his usual off time activities of going to a meeting, visiting his sister and niece, and explained how he was trying to find a manager to help him get more jobs and bigger opportunities. You were really impressed by Adams commitment to build his career right.

At some point the two of you had made it into the living area looking out the large windows watching people on the street. You make your way towards the couch sitting and realizing how exhausted you were but also not wanting this to be over. Adam noticed you moved and could tell how tired you were and not wanting to overstay his welcome. "I should go it late" Adam says, starting to move away from the window.  
"No it's fine. Come here" you say patting the spot on the couch next to you. He walks over to the couch and takes the spot next to you with his strong and tall figure. Clicking the tv on and searching for a movie to watch you ask, "Do you want to watch a movie?"  
"Yeah sure. Anything is fine"  
"Have you seen Rear Window it's one of my favorites"  
"I'm not sure. What's it about?" he says as he relaxes into the couch a little more. You take this as a cue to settle in just a little closer.  
"The movie is about a photographer who is stuck in a wheelchair as he recovers from an accident. He spends his time watching his neighbors from his apartment window and thinks he witnesses a murder. So since he's stuck in a wheelchair he gets his girlfriend to help him prove what he saw."  
"Sounds interesting. Why is it your favorite." You thought for a moment and calculated your response.  
"I like it because outside of the main story line you get to see all of the other neighbors getting a glimpse into the tiny unseen or unspoken moments of life. Things going on that you can identify with or understand even if there are no real lines or important dialogue going on." Adam listened to every word that came out of your mouth completely astonished that someone could think like this like him. This was why Adam liked to act. He wants to be able to bring those unseen or powerful moments to life.. "Let's watch it." he said, and you followed with an excited smile "ok great".

Turning the movie on you decided to stretch your legs out barely getting your feet close enough to rest on the coffee table in front of you. Adam laughed and easily threw his long sturdy legs up setting them on the table. You glanced at him with a playful grin "It's not nice to show off". He matched your expression "here is this better." Adam suddenly grabs both of your legs and lays them across his. You let out an unexpected laugh as your legs moved so quickly causing you to close the space between you and Adam. The two of you just settled into each other like two perfect puzzle pieces. You reached over and grabbed the blanket that was hanging over the arm of the couch and tossed it over the two of you as Adam snaked his arm around you. The apartment went quiet only being filled with the sound of the movie and two nervous hearts beating as the unfamiliar feeling of wholeness consumes the two of you.


	7. Chapter 7

Before you even knew it the apartment went black. Next thing you knew there was light shining on your face as you started to Russell awake. Suddenly you sit up rubbing your face trying to think through what was going on because you never slept on the couch all night. There was never a time you didn't wake up and go to bed then you looked over. Adam was still there asleep, handsomely slumped over his head resting on the arm of the couch with his arm still stretched out where you must have been laying. It hit you like a slap to the face, I slept all night on this couch with Adam, the thought was spinning around your head trying to understand how this happened. Just then your eyes glance at the time you carefully get up not to wake Adam you were running late for work. Heading towards the kitchen knowing there was no way you would be able to make it through the day without coffee. After starting the coffee maker you make your way towards the bathroom in a rush, but still trying to be quiet quickly grabbing a towel from the laundry basket. Not noticing due to you going as quickly as you could the bathroom door did not close all the way leaving it cracked open just enough. Shedding your clothes as fast as possible and turning the shower on you jump in starting to wash your body. Anxiety from rushing starts to melt away as the warm water hits your skin. Disassociating for a moment while you finish your hair getting lost in your shower you start to sing When the Party's Over by Janis Ian.  
" _Would you like to learn to sing?_  
 _Would you like to sing my song?_  
 _Would you like to learn to love me best of all?_  
 _Anyone can learn the words_  
 _And the melody's so plain._  
 _This is my song to bring you back again_  
 _I'll teach you how to sing and dance_  
 _With a song and dance routine_  
 _And when the party's over_  
 _You can fall in love with me."_

Adam started to shift on the couch as his eyes started to open and his hand searched for you. Noticing you weren't there anymore, that's when he heard your voice, the voice he was so intrigued by. He loved the way your voice just flowed out of you so delicately yet there was emotion and strength attached to it that he wanted to figure out. Adam started to move up the couch a little, still half asleep he turned his head noticing the bathroom door was slightly open. The shower turned off and you stepped out onto the bathmat. Still oblivious to the door continuing to sing grabbing the towel covering just the front part of your body.

Adam's eyes go wide as he can see your reflection in the mirror. He couldn't believe the way the water droplets glistened on your skin like little diamonds reflecting the sun. You proceeded to wipe your face pulling the towel just slightly showing the side of your breast and torso. Quickly you move in front of the mirror to start getting ready not realizing that Adam is watching your every move. Adam watched the water from your hair drip down your back and over your exposed ass. He moves again on the couch to adjust his excitement. He glances back and you have wrapped the towel around you and started to brush your teeth.

Finishing your teeth you grab a little moisturizer and apply it to your face before your very quick and simple make up routine. Once that was done you added a little leave in conditioner and style cream to your hair hoping it would cooperate for the day. Turning you see the door hoping Adam was still asleep and that you didn't wake him not even thinking that he could have seen in. Opening and stepping through the door glancing over towards Adam relief washed over you as it seemed like he hadn't woken up you tiptoe into your room. Adam had shifted back into his sleeping position to think through what he should do. _Should I just leave? Should I wait for her?_ He decided to just lay there for a moment. It was really early and honestly he hadn't really slept that great in a while till last night. He kept thinking about how well you fit in his arm as the two of you watched the movie. Mostly it was just him watching the movie as you quickly fell asleep in his arms. He didn't mind at all. He knew you worked hard and he enjoyed holding you close. What he did not expect was him to feel comfortable enough to follow suit. Adam doesn't even remember closing his eyes till he opened them this morning.

Thankfully it was Friday you were allowed to wear jeans and a school spirit shirt because you did not have time to put in the effort for anything else. Adjusting your bra and pulling up your underwear you find some decent jeans to jump into. Going through your small closet finding a school shirt and pulling it over quickly adjusting any imperfections. You slip on your shoes and walk back into the kitchen pouring some coffee in a travel mug then adding a little creamer. Your eyes look over towards Adam still slumped adorably on the couch. You decided the best thing is to at least let him know you have to go to work. Walking over carefully not wanting to disrupt him too much.  
"Adam. Hey. Sorry to wake you" you say as you gently rub his strong arm and sit on the side of the couch. Adam opened his eyes realizing he had drifted off again while in thought.  
"Shit I didn't mean to fall asleep." He said as he started to sit up.  
"I didn't either. Don't worry I know it's early I just wanted to let you know I have to go to work, but you're welcome to stay. Have some coffee, milk, go back to sleep, just lock the door when you leave." you say warmly as you start to stand up to leave. Before you really processed anything Adam had your wrist in his hand. You turned around looking right into his eyes without a word being said you moved towards him. He was pulling you in like a beacon as both hands encompassed your waist guiding you towards his lap. Just as your ass made contact with his legs his lips were crashing into yours. Your heart was beating with excitement as you moved your arms to wrap around his neck intertwining your fingers in his gorgeous hair. Both of your lips moved together so eagerly like both of you were starving for the other. Adam's large hands moved around your hips one resting on your lower back and the other moving down the outer part of your thigh. His touch caused you to let out a soft, "hmmm". Adam's heart skipped a beat and couldn't believe how perfect you were. After seeing how beautiful you are and hearing how comforting you sound as well as making him feel so warm and welcome he couldn't handle it. He couldn't let you leave without kissing you. After a few moments you both needed air and barely separate foreheads almost touching. You take a deep breath trying to regain your focus from your growing need for him.  
"I have to go to work." a grin starts to creep across your face.  
"Fine I guess I'll let you go." Adam said with a smile. The two of you still just sit there for a minute looking at each other. You decide you had to be the one to move so you stand up as Adam's hands reluctantly leave you. Going towards the door and grabbing your bags and coffee. You look back and realize Adam is just watching you.  
"Honestly, you're welcome to have whatever is in the fridge if you want something." you say with a shy smile.  
"Ok thanks" Adam says adorably due to the overwhelming amount of kindness you were showing him.  
"Ok great. Shit! I really have to go. Sorry." you blurt out as you get a glimpse of the time. You start to walk towards the door.  
"Y/N"  
"Yeah"  
"Have a great day. I'll call you later."  
"Thanks!" you quickly say as warmth floods your face as you get out the door. Making your way out of the building you take a moment to collect yourself. _What is happening? Why does this feel so comfortable? I know I am going to fuck this up. Just breathe and let this play out._ These thoughts are at war in your head. You decide to put your headphones in and make your way to work as Foolish Heart by Steve Perry invades your senses.

Adam didn't stay long in your apartment. He finished waking up and got himself together then enjoyed a glass of milk. Before he left he folded the blanket the two of you shared and placed it back nicely on the couch. As he left he did as you said and locked the door going down the stairs heading out of the building running into Peter who was coming to see Madison.  
"Adam hey what are you doing here?"  
"Hey. I was uhmm hanging out with Y/N last night."  
"Oh yeah Madi said something about that. What's going on with you two?  
"We uhh like hanging out. She's really great. Just seeing how things go." Adam adds while he is trying to retreat from the conversation.  
"Yeah Y/N is great. Hope things go good."  
"Me too. See ya." Adam turns and finds his way back to his apartment to get ready for the day. After a while Adam gets an email notification he goes through and looks at it and sees it's from Jessa. He immediately lets out a big sigh closing his eyes in irritation. Looking through the email he reads this line over and over again. _Adam, please will you come visit again I really need a friend._ Adam is struck with the fact that he was her friend first and knows the importance of support. He didn't forget the fact that she was trying to blame him last time for their issues, but he also knew that he couldn't just let her down and not try. Adam in the moment of rationalizing realized something. He did still care about Jessa, but his feelings were changing and the only thing he can contribute it to is meeting you.

When you made it into work you were relieved that the first student you were supposed to visit was absent. Allowing you to slip into your office and take a moment to collect yourself for the day. You finish your coffee and open your emails. Scrolling through you see emails from parents, district planning, co teachers, and more. Taking a deep breath before you dive in your thoughts drift away to Adam and a smile comes across your face. A knock rang through your office bringing you back to the real world. Looking up you see the fine arts teacher Mr. Miller learning in your doorway. Jaxon Miller was a handsome young talented new teacher who you had made friends with this school year. It was easy to make friends because his classroom and your office were right across the hall from each other making it impossible to avoid.  
"Running a little late today?" He said in a smooth joking manner.  
"Yeah just overslept. Did I miss anything important?" You say with a friendly tone.  
"Not really but we have a staff meeting today about the school carnival fundraiser. They want teacher input." he said as he made quotations with his fingers when he said input.  
"Yay I love staff meetings on Fridays." you say sarcastically.  
"Of course they are the best." He added matching your sarcasm. After a couple of minutes of small talk and a few laughs you start to grab your materials to meet with your next students. Jaxon started to head back to his classroom and turned and asked. "Hey I wanted to ask before I put in a request, but I might have to go out of town next week. Do you think you could substitute for me for a couple of days? I just thought you would be good cause we're friends and you know how my classroom runs. Plus the kids love when you come and visit." You thought for a moment to consider the offer. _It would be fun to have a class for a few days. Do I have time to fill in? The extra money would be nice._ You look at Jaxon and say, "Yeah that should be fine. I have conditions though. Please give me your lesson plans before you leave. I do not need to be figuring it out as I go. Also you will have to cover my drop off duty one day when you come back." Jaxon considers your answer with a laugh and says, "Great! I'll let you know those dates soon." Jaxon left your office heading back to his classroom and you grabbed the rest of your materials and went on with your day visiting with students.

The day finally came to an end later than usual for you. After the staff meeting about the school carnival and finishing monthly student reports you grabbed your bags and left school. When you made it outside it was already dark, slipping your headphones in enjoying Little Lies by Fleetwood Mac. You finally get home to find Madi and Peter cuddled up on the same couch Adam and you were the night before. Sluggishly making your way through your apartment and shedding your bags your heart is overjoyed to see your favorite food sitting on the counter.  
"You guys got me dinner? Thanks so much I am starving!"  
"Of course. I knew you would have worked late because you overslept this morning. With Adam!" Madi says in a taunting voice. You roll your eyes and slump down on the lounge chair near the cute couple. Peter says, "Yeah what's going on with you two? I ran into him this morning on my way in."  
"I don't know. You guys know I don't like to talk about stuff."  
"We know you're just seeing how it plays out." they both say in unison.  
"Then just let me be. I don't want to screw anything up and I don't even know what Adam wants." you say almost annoyed. You understand their intentions and how much they care but you don't want to be reminded of your shortcomings. Madi and Peter both give you a look of understanding as you go to enjoy your food. The night goes on and the three of you enjoy spending time together, but you were exhausted. You bid them a goodnight and head to your room discarding your clothes from the day and slipping into an oversized t-shirt. Suddenly your phone rings and your heart swells picking up and answering with a sweet, "Hello". Adam with that always charming tone says, "Hey Teach". Instantly your night was made.

Saturday came and went quickly as always. You spent it like any other Saturday waking up and getting started on all the work you brought home until you received a text from Adam.  
"Don't work too hard today." That unfamiliar warm feeling pumped throughout your entire body as you read his text. This isn't the first time someone has said that to you. Former guys you have dated always tried to make you feel bad or intentionally interrupt you working on the weekends. It never changed your mind or made you stop. However, just knowing it came from Adam and the little you have observed and know of him told you it came from a real place of respect and understanding. You thought for a moment looking over all the work you had already accomplished and decided it wouldn't hurt to stop for a little bit. You reply to the text, "Thanks for the reminder. I guess I can take you up on the advice this once." Once the text goes through you decide to put on Donna Summers 1979 Bad Girls album. As the soulful sound filled your apartment you decided to clean up your work space and do some chores around the apartment.

Adam was sitting in the rehab facility visiting room waiting to see Jessa. He decided to text you as his thoughts were starting to focus too much on what Jessa was going to say. When he read your response a reassuring and comfortable feeling washed over him as he realized you actually listened to him. A small smile crept across his face as he still looked at his phone. Suddenly he heard Jessa's voice, "Hi Adam." he was brought back to reality real quick, stuffing his phone in his pocket. Jessa sat across from him looking at him as if she was trying to read his mind. A moment of silence went by and she decided to speak. "Thank you for coming. I want to apologize for bringing all of that stuff up last time. I just need to talk to someone. I haven't talked to Shoshana in literally forever, plus Marnie and I were never close, and you know Hannah is busy being a mom and stuff now." Adam just tensely listened not sure what she was going to say next, but he nodded to ensure he understood what she was saying. Adam was simply there to listen; he didn't want to fight because he felt like he had already expressed himself enough in the past and during the last time he visited. Jessa went on to talk about the different programs she was doing and how the meetings here were boring but she was getting something out of them. She also explained to him how during their last break before the last time they got together then broke up she started using again and tried her best to hide it from him. Adam felt guilty and angry that he didn't notice and could have helped her. She kept on explaining that she's been sober for a couple of months now and she feels a lot better about herself. Jessa told him that other than him she's reached out to her sister who's been somewhat supportive communicating through emails. She in turn asked what Adam has been up to since they broke up. He shared how he ran into his friend Peter one day who told him about an open audition for a play. Then he landed the role doing great with rehearsals and previews and executed a great performance for a couple of months till the show closed. Adam continued to share how right now he's just taking some time to see where he wants to go with his career. Jessa and Adam both just sat there trying to read each other. She liked that he was doing so well and she was finally feeling like she was getting real help. However she knew that getting with Adam to begin with was going to end messy and didn't really try to avoid it. She did care about him but struggled with the complexities of life. At this moment she couldn't push her feelings for him away. Adam shifted in his chair saying, "Jessa I'm really glad that things are well and you're getting help." Her eyes drifted away for a moment as she gathered her thoughts. "Really thanks for coming. Look Adam I know I really fucked up, but I care about you I always have."  
Adam didn't know how to react. He could feel anger starting to rise under his skin because he tried so hard to make it work with her and she never put forth a real effort. While now sitting here as everything has started to move on she is telling him she cares. Jessa added noticing his demeanor changing, "I want to make things right. I want to fix things between us." All Adam could say was, "I don't know what you want me to say. I have to go." He stood up quickly struggling to keep his cool fists clenching leaving the same way he left the first time he visited her. Adam was so confused and irritated that now she wants to fix things. He decided to walk home to hopefully clear his head but it just worked himself up more. By the time he finally made his way home it was getting late. He stepped into his apartment and was immediately reminded of all the struggles and fights over the stupidest shit with Jessa. He couldn't be there right now he had to calm down and the only thing he knew would help him was seeing you.

You had a nice day of not working too hard following Adams advice. Deciding to focus on stuff you had put off because of work like your huge pile of laundry, cleaning out your work bags, and finally starting that book you've been wanting to read. The day flew by as the night got later you thought it would be best to straighten up your room and put your clean clothes away before going to bed. Out of nowhere there was a heavy knock on your door. You were not expecting anyone and Madi went to Peters earlier so it put you a little on guard. Carefully going to the door and peaking through the peephole you see it's Adam. Opening the door you instantly notice how disheveled he looked. You could tell he had swiped his hand through his hair too many times as well as the tightened expression on his face.  
"Are you ok?" You ask with an empathetic tone.  
"Shit did I interrupt your night." Adam blurts out realizing he didn't call or text before coming over.  
"No. I was just putting stuff away in my room. Come in what's up?" Adam comes in and immediately goes to your bedroom and flops his huge stature into your bed. Understanding his personality it doesn't surprise you, so you close the door and follow him. You get into your room and start back to putting things away watching him lay on your bed taking deep breaths. You didn't want to pry but you also hated seeing him so worked up. Cautiously you think of something to say,  
"Adam you can talk to me if you want." Adam considered you for a moment and realized that he was already calming down by just being around you.  
"I just had a shitty day." He said while staring at your ceiling.  
"Why was it shitty?" You ask while putting the last few things away.  
"People are just fucking inconsiderate and think that they can just say whatever they want and it fucking fixes itself." He let out a huge sigh. At this point you had put everything away and something was telling you to get closer to him. You walked over to your bed and sat on the end of the left side due to him taking up all of the right side and having both arms stretched out. He was still staring at the ceiling trying to regulate himself. Adam felt you sit down on the bed and felt his anger drip off of him even more. Something in you knew he would tell you everything when he wanted to so you didn't want to push it.  
"I'm sorry." You say gently leaning by him a little to observe his reaction. He looked over at you and just wanted you closer but was so frustratingly confused. Adam turned and laid on his right side. You took this as an invitation and laid down facing him. The two of you just laid there looking at each other for a few minutes. You noticed a few strands of hair that had fallen in his face. Slowly but compassionately pushing the fallen hairs from his face looking into his intense hazel eyes you say, "tell me if there is something I can do to help." Adam thought and knew that usually he would have just fucked the shit out of you to make himself feel better and he would get over it eventually. However he wasn't that person anymore and just laying here with you seemed so much more intimate than anger sex. He knew you didn't deserve that especially since he wasn't even angry at you. He just kept looking at you focusing on how beautiful and comforting you were. You made it so easy for him to connect with you like you knew exactly what he needed. Adam in a low voice said, "just lay here with me." You knew in that moment that you would do anything he asked, answering quickly, "I'm not going anywhere."

As quickly as you answered you felt Adams arm wrap around you pulling you closer. Your head laying on his chest as his head rests gently on yours. Both of you fit together so effortlessly as his strong arms wrapped around you. The feeling of understanding and comfort filling both of you making the moment feel so unbelievable. Adam held you there with his arms as all his worries drifted away with every breath he took. The day had been long and stressful and before he even knew it his eyes were closing the more relaxed he felt. You could feel his breathing start to slow figuring he wasn't going to last much longer. The two of you just laid there in each other's arms until drifting into a peaceful sleep knowing that you both were safe and connected to the other.


	8. Chapter 8

Falling asleep in Adams arms was a lot easier than you'd expect. The way he held you and brushed his finger against your skin allowed you to doze ever so easily. Adam held you as close as he could taking in your smell and welcoming softness that never pried for answers just accepting what was given. Both of you slept tangled together even at one point repositioning under the covers in the middle of the night because you were freezing. Honestly it was one of the best night's sleep you had ever gotten until your internal alarm clock woke you up. For a few moments you just laid there watching Adam sleep. The way his hair caressed his face with the long dark locks, the freckles that perfectly scattered across his cheeks and nose, and even just how overall handsome he was made your heart speed up. Cursing to yourself as you decided to carefully slink out of bed not to wake Adam knowing there was no point of trying to go back to sleep you were awake. You had been so used to waking up early for work that your body never really let you sleep in especially if you fell asleep earlier than usual like the night before. Stepping into the living area the early morning sun was streaming in through your large windows. You decide to go over to watch out the window as people start to fill the street on a Sunday morning. Getting settled in the lounge chair just watching and observing as your thoughts start to run rampant . _What were you doing? This isn't like you? You shouldn't let people in so easily. Why is he so perfectly charming? What is it about him? What does he want with you? How could he make you feel so safe and secure? Why me when he could obviously have anyone else?_ You could easily get completely lost in a spiral of unwelcome thoughts until you remind yourself you're in control and you have to let things play out to see what direction to go. Once regaining control of your thoughts you try to focus on what's going on as you notice more and more people fill the street outside your window.

A little over an hour went by just watching out the window. You start making a mental list of what you had to do for the day like bake some bread to take to dinner with Mrs. Jones, put a salad together to take too, and check work emails. Suddenly you hear your bedroom door open and large footsteps you knew were Adam's without even looking. He asked, "What are you doing up so early?" Without turning around you answer, still watching out the window, "I woke up and couldn't go back to sleep." Adam noticed the same thing he did the night of the cast party when you were sitting at the bar. He thought how perfectly content you seemed being alone just observing but this time something was different. Maybe it was because you were in a more comfortable setting and not around a bunch of strangers, but it was like he could feel the loneliness oozing out of you. He stepped closer till he was standing by your side and you looked up at him with a smile and that soft kind voice saying, "Goodmorning". Mirroring your smile he replied, "Morning".

A comfortable silence settles in the apartment as the two of you are just there together. Adam is still waking up and you decide you need to start your day. Heading towards the kitchen Adam just watches you. You make some coffee and offer Adam some cereal as you start to pour yourself some. He gratefully accepts and sits at the island. Once both bowls were made you sit next to him as the both of you enjoy your simple breakfast together. After finishing your cereal you finish your coffee then decide it's best to start the bread so it has plenty of time to rise before baking it later. Baking was something you just did. It was easier than buying a bunch of stuff at the store plus it always tasted better. You also were grateful to have some of your grandmother's recipes memorized from baking with her so many times growing up. Getting up from the island putting your bowl and coffee mug in the sink then turning to gather your ingredients. Adam noticed you asking, "what are you doing?" Explaining you say, "I am having dinner with Mrs. Jones tonight and I always make fresh bread and a salad. So I have to start the bread so it has plenty of time to rise before baking it." Adam thought to himself. _Fuck what can't she do?_ After a moment he says, "oh yeah I was invited wasn't I?" You paused for a moment not realizing at the time he noticed she did invite him. Starting to mix ingredients together flour, salt, and yeast you say, "uhh yeah she did but you don't have to come." He quickly answered knowing exactly what you would say, "what time? I'll be there." Taking a moment to try to read his expression you add the warm water to your dry mixture. "6:30pm, but you don't have to come if you already have plans." Adam was not fazed by your answer; he gathered his bowl and walked over to the sink placing it in carefully. As you finished mixing the ingredients you noticed the dough starting to form. Adam came and stood next to you leaning against the counter watching every movement you made. Once the dough was finished you were able to set it aside to rise for a couple of hours. Adam looked at you and you froze in place as your eyes locked on each other. With that low charming voice he said, "I have to go, but thank you for everything and I'll be here for dinner." He emphasized the word everything as if you had really helped him last night. Knowing that information made your cheeks blush a little averting your eyes to check on your bread to prevent any more from creeping in. Within the same moment Adam had placed a tender kiss on your slightly rosy cheeks then made his way towards the door. Both your eyes meet as he says, "I'll see you later."

Adam made his way back to his apartment to get ready for the day he had an important meeting with his new manager. He was a little nervous for the meeting hoping there was going to be some good news about an acting job. Getting to the meeting took a little while because it was all the way in the city. A long subway ride and a little walking later he finally made it to his meeting. He waited in the lobby till his name was called back by the secretary who led him right to Anne Wilson's Office. Anne was a middle aged woman who has been doing this job for a while and was known for listening to the actors she represented. She came up to Adam one night after the play and offered him a meeting saying, "Hey kid you got something special. You should come by my office sometime." as she gave him her card. Adam at the time was trying to make some serious decisions about his acting career and this seemed like a great opportunity so he took it. The meeting went really well. Anne said that she has some guest spots lined up on some more prime time tv slots to get his name in the door and have them in different styles to show his range. As well as possibly doing some Broadway previews since he has play experience. She also discussed with him his opinions on doing movies since he had a bad experience with a director in the past. Adam listened very carefully to every little detail she was saying making sure he didn't miss anything. He told her that he would love to do the guest spots as well as a Broadway preview then look into doing a movie. Adam left the meeting feeling on top of the world finally seeing things falling in place. He was so excited and couldn't wipe away the huge smile on his face. Adam had to share the news and had to tell someone he couldn't keep it to himself anymore and instantly the first person that popped in his head was you.

Your day went by quickly as you answered work emails and finished baking the bread which turned out gorgeously golden brown. Finally deciding to get ready you put on Pat Benatar's 1979 In The Heat of the Night album. That late 70's rock hit Heartbreaker pounds throughout your apartment as you sing every word.  
 _"Your love is like a tidal wave_  
 _Spinnin' over my head_  
 _Drownin' me in your promises_  
 _Better left unsaid_  
 _Your the right kind of sinner_  
 _To release my inner fantasy"_  
Hopping into the shower to clean up quickly, finishing your own personal concert. When you were done you dried off, got dressed, put a little makeup on, then touched up your hair. You check the time it was almost 6 and you still had to make the salad. Heading into the kitchen you grab a bowl and ingredients lettuce, tomatoes, purple onions, and olives. Starting to toss everything together thankful that everything was already chopped you hear a heavy quick knock. Knowing it was probably Adam you yell over the music, "Come in". He came in so quick with an adorably huge smile saying something you couldn't make out because of the music. You laugh and motion to him saying, "Turn the music down sorry I didn't hear anything you said." Adam chaotically runs over and turns the music down which just makes you smile enjoying his energy. He looks at you and passionately starts telling you all about his meeting. He finishes with asking a question.  
"What do you think?"  
"Honestly, it doesn't matter what I think if you want it go get it, but it sounds fucking awesome!"  
"Really? Are you sure it doesn't sound too good to be true?"  
"Adam if acting is what you want to do and I think you're amazing at it. You should take any opportunity you can to make a name for yourself." Adam looked at you analyzing your eyes trying to see if you really meant what you said. When he could tell you were genuine he wrapped his large arms around you pulling you in for a strong hug lifting you off the ground. You naturally wrap your arm around his neck sticking your head in the crook of his shoulder. The embrace was strong but not crushing as both of you drank the other in. A moment went by and you bring your head back and say, "I am so happy for you. You will do great." Adam didn't put you down just yet he just looked into your eyes as you did him as that warm feeling washed over the two of you while realizing that you both were having the same feeling. Adam puts you down and you break the silence with a smile, "we better get going Mrs. Jones would hate it if we were late."

The two of you make your way downstairs to Mrs. Jones's apartment Adam carrying the salad and you the bread. You gently knock on the door and turn to Adam and say, "I forgot to tell you but she has a dog. I know some people are weird around animals". Adam's eyes widened answering you, "I love dogs." Just then Mrs. Jones opens the door enthusiastically welcoming the two of you in. You put the bread down and take the salad from Adam adding it to the table then embracing Mrs. Jones with a loving hug. Without missing a beat Rocky the dog was jumping in excitement to see you. Mrs. Jones says, "I told him earlier that you were coming over and he's been so excited ever since." You walk over to the living area and sit in the middle of the floor Rocky playfully greets you by licking your face as you pet him. Mrs. Jones greets Adam, "Hello handsome it's good to see you again. Welcome and make yourself comfortable, dinner is almost ready." Adam let out a nervous laugh and thanked her for having him then walked over and you motion for him to join you. He does and instantly Rocky is greeting him excitedly. You watch Adam interact with Rocky petting and playing with him thinking to yourself, _Shit he's hot_. Standing up you walk into the kitchen offering your help to Mrs. Jones who waves you away insisting that she's almost finished. Which was true within the next few minutes dinner was ready and the three of you were all sitting at the table enjoying each other's company.

After everyone finished eating you all just sat and kept talking. Mrs. Jones asked you how work was going and you told her how you'll get a chance to teach when you substitute for the fine arts teacher in a week or two. She was excited for you because she knew how much you enjoyed teaching as well as your love for the arts. She also kept asking Adam questions about himself, job, and family which Adam answered short and sweet. As the two are discussing different things you decide to clear the table taking the empty plates and sticking them in the sink. Turning to look back they are still talking so you take the moment to slip away to use the restroom really quick. Right as the restroom door closes Adam watched as Mrs. Jones leaned across the table putting a gentle hand on his arm. His eyes focused on her noticing the seriousness and she said, "Adam I like you a lot and you are by far the best guy I've seen hanging around Y/N, but I want to tell you some things. She is one of the kindest, most selfless person I've ever met. She also has been through a lot in her life which she does not talk about unless she has to which in turn she internalizes a lot. She needs someone who understands her and can support her the same way she would support them. I don't want to scare you off and I'm sorry if I did. I just love her very much and have taken her in as one of my own and want what's best for her." Adam took in every bit of information and reassured Mrs. Jones he understood and thanked her for telling him. However, his thoughts were nonstop. _What has she been through? She internalizes like me but I explode with anger what does she do?. She is the kindest and most selfless person I've ever met. I think I do understand her._ You make your way back and Adam and Mrs. Jones are standing up to clean the rest of dinner and you join them. After everything is cleaned up and leftovers are separated you bid your goodbyes to both Mrs. Jones and Rocky and make your way back to your apartment.

Once the two of you got back into your apartment Adam helped you put the leftovers away. You both just stand there looking at each other trying to read the other. You say stepping just a little bit closer to him, "Thanks for coming to dinner it was nice having someone else there." Adam answered following your lead and stepping a little bit closer as well saying, "Yeah it was nice."  
"I think she likes you and so did Rocky. Who isn't always that warm to strangers." you say stepping just a little bit. Adam looks straight in your eyes, closing a little bit more space, "it's probably because I'm very likeable." You take the final step closing the space between the two of you saying and locking eyes with him, "I can agree with you on that." As if it was slow motion Adams large hands grab your waist as his lips move closer to yours. You naturally bring your hands up to the side of his face one slipping into his gorgeous locks. Both lips move together in rhythm as your bodies press against each other. Adam runs his hands over your hips and moves down to your ass slightly squeezing. For a moment the two of you separate to take a breath just looking in each others eyes, foreheads touching then instantly going back lips crashing together again. Now you feel his tongue swipe across asking for entry and you eagerly accept meeting his pace with your tongue both moving together like they are dancing. After a few moments you start to step backwards breaking the kiss Adam looks at you curiously and you take his hand leading the way to your bedroom giving him a little smirk. The two of you go in closing the door behind you and stopping at the end of your bed. Adam wraps his arms around you leaning down sticking his head in the nook of your neck lightly kissing you. You closed your eyes and took a deep breath. Nerves started to set in a little for both of you. Neither of you had been with anyone in a while and you both didn't want to screw it up. Adam pulled his head back and looked at you with hesitant eyes. Analyzing his eyes with yours you knew he was nervous just like you. His vulnerability struck you and you knew you needed him right here right now. Not breaking eye contact you slightly smile and with a soft alluring voice say, "I want you to fuck me Sackler."

As if that was the magic words Adam quickly tossed you on the bed forcing you to let out a small yell and laugh. You sit up on your elbows watching him move. He takes his shirt off revealing his perfectly carved chest. He starts to slip his shoes off, eyes never leaving you as you take your shirt off, tossing it on the floor revealing your semi see through bra. Adam, still just staring at you, starts to undo his pants while you do the same. You start to tug them off as Adam grabs both sides of your jeans easily pulling them down gently placing a kiss or two on the trim of your panties sending a pulse through your core. He steps out of his pants closer to you laying there on the bed and says, "Fuck your beautiful." You blush a little hearing him say that. Adam puts one knee on the bed in between your legs leaning over you with both hands propping him up on both sides of your head. You couldn't help but brush the hair away that had fallen in his face gently brushing his cheek with your hand. Suddenly Adam was pressing his lips against yours both moving so effortlessly. After a moment he started moving down your body pressing a kiss on your chin, neck, shoulder, collar bone, in between your breasts, stomach, the trim of your panties, and each thigh sending chills down your spine. After that you knew you were already wet. Reaching back you unhook your bra letting it slide over your shoulders barely covering your breast now you slowly toss it to the side. Adam immediately starts pressing his lips against your exposed skin making you release a soft moan. Adam smiled against your skin hearing your response. He was loving this and had been wanting you for a while now pretty much ever since you met. However he wanted to savor this moment but you were making it difficult with how perfect you were. The way you spoke to him, the sounds you made, the way you felt in his touch he had to have you he couldn't wait anymore. He stood up and pulled his briefs down releasing himself. Your eyes meet his growing length, smirking as your skin starts to heat up and you slip your fingers around the trim of your panties and start to pull them off. Adam grabs them halfway taking them off and throwing them out of the way. He was on top of you again passionately kissing you tongues moving together in harmony. Within the same moment Adam gently entered you. Both of you moaned at the same time as your walls formed around him. You couldn't believe the way he filled you up. He starts to thrust as he sloppily kisses you and asks, "is this ok?". You wrap your arms around him pressing your bare breast against his chest answering in a lustful tone "Yes". Adam takes this as a cue to speed up causing your orgasm to build sending a pulse through your walls. "Fuck your tight", Adam keeps up his movement. The faster Adam moves the more the pleasure builds, "mmhhm Adam yes", you let out as you shut your eyes surrendering to the moment. He keeps pumping at a steady pace letting out a slur of curses. Lazy kisses are exchanged the closer the both of you get to your climaxes. Adam steps back so he can get deeper hitting the spot. Instantly, "FUCK", was your response and Adam was getting close to the edge watching you take him. You slip your hand down to give attention to your neglected bub knowing it will help send you over. "I'm getting close" you say as you rub circles. Adam starts to twitch inside you, "fuck me too". Hearing him admit that started your waves of pleasure sending you over with a slur of fucks and Adams flowing out of you. Watching you come undone and hearing that gorgeous voice moan his name sent him over. Finishing inside of you twitching and pumping as deep as he could with a "Fuck Y/N".

A moment goes by and he pulls out of you laying next to you on the bed. Both of you taking deep breaths trying to regain a normal breathing rate. After regaining your composures that comfortable silence settled between the two of you. You sit up for a moment to grab the blanket Adam watching you as you lay it across the two of you. As you go to lay back down Adam snakes his arm around you pulling you into his chest. You naturally fit into his embrace and settle in comfortably as his fingers gently brush against your skin. Starting to shut your eyes you mention, "tomorrow there isn't school, so I'm off work if you want to do something." Adam smiles and kisses the top of your head saying with a joking tone, "oh I know what I'm doing tomorrow. I'm doing this again." You let out a soft laugh, "oh really. Sounds like a plan." Shortly after the two of you both drift off sleeping soundly in each other's arms.


	9. Chapter 9

Once again you had a peaceful night's sleep in Adam's arms. At one point in the night you roll over breaking contact then being brought back instantly by Adam's arm making you the little spoon. Your bare back was pressed tightly to his chest. Rolling back over the sun is starting to push through your window blinds hitting parts of the wall around you. You realize you slept longer than usual probably because of the way Adam makes you feel. It was like you had no worries or anxieties around him making life seem a little more bearable and peaceful. Laying in bed a few minutes watching Adam sleep a thought popped in your mind. _I could make breakfast for us?_ You debated for a few minutes still watching Adam adorably sleep finally deciding you were hungry. Carefully slipping out of bed then looking around your room for the panties Adam threw to the side. After slipping them on you grab an oversized tshirt and pull it over your head. Heading to the restroom you pee then look at yourself in the mirror and thought. Uhh I look a mess. Grabbing your face wash you gently clean your face, pat it dry, and then brush your teeth. Now heading into the kitchen to see what you had to cook.

After finding eggs and bacon you set them aside on the counter. Still being as quiet as possible you grab the kitchen utensils, pots, and pans you'd need. Setting the oven to bake the bacon then nicely putting them on a pan then placing it in the oven and setting a timer. Deciding your going to make scrambled eggs grabbing a bowl to whisk the eggs together then pouring them in a pot. Quickly you run over to your bags and grab your headphones so you can replace the silence with music. Soon The Eagles start playing in your ears as you finish cooking breakfast. You stir the eggs making sure they don't get stuck to the bottom of the pan. You decide to cut some pieces of the leftover bread you made yesterday for toast. As you grab a knife and start slicing the bread one of your favorite songs comes on One of These Nights by the Eagles. No matter what you do you can not help yourself but sing and sway to the song.  
 _"One of these nights, one of these crazy old nights_  
 _We're gonna find out, pretty mama, what turns on your lights_  
 _The full moon is calling, the fever is high_  
 _And the wicked wind whispers and moans_  
 _You got your demons, you got your desires_  
 _Well, I got a few of my own."_

Adam started rustling around in your bed as he reached for you. _Where is she? She is always gone when I wake up._ He thought to himself as he rubbed his eyes awake. After a moment he heard you singing and instantly a smile crept across his face. He was awake enough to search your bedroom floor for his briefs and slipped them on. Silently he slipped out of your room and snuck around the hallway wall to see what you were doing. He was stuck in place seeing you like this. With no makeup, just panties and a tshirt that barely covered anything, singing, dancing, and cooking completely oblivious to him watching you. Honestly it was one of the hottest things he's seen. You were so gorgeous like this. He kept watching you enjoying the show as you started in on the second verse of the song.  
 _"One of these dreams, one of these lost and lonely dreams, now_  
 _We're gonna find one, mm, one that really screams_  
 _I've been searching for the daughter of the devil himself_  
 _I've been searching for an angel in white_  
 _I've been waiting for a woman who's a little of both_  
 _And I can feel her but she's nowhere in sight"_

Reaching into a cabinet and grabbing two plates you set the toast on them. Going back and checking the eggs they were almost finished when the oven timer went off. You grabbed an oven mitt and proceeded to bend over and pull the bacon out of the oven. Adam still watches you adjusting himself as you bend over causing the tshirt to lift up revealing your panties and ass. You finish the eggs and put some on each plate then grab a couple pieces of bacon adding them as well. Adam couldn't keep himself at bay anymore he had to be close to you to touch you. He carefully stepped up behind you and slipped his arms around your waist causing his tall frame to bend over placing his head in the crook of your neck. The surprise contact made you slightly jump causing Adam to laugh his warm breath hitting the back of your neck causing goosebumps over your skin. A sigh of relief when you realized it was him not moving just finishing the plates.

Adam starts kissing your neck as a smirk comes across your lips. You teasingly press your hips back against his feeling his length hit your ass. He takes a deep breath then releasing it quickly through his nose against your skin. You giggle a little at his response feeling his hands grip around you a little tighter then setting your headphones on the counter. Turning your head a little to be able to face him you catch his intense hazel eyes saying, "Good Morning". Adam in a low growling morning voice and a smile, "Good Morning." Instantly lips were pressing together, meeting each other in a slow passionate movement as your body was turning to face him fully. Hands glide over his shoulders till your arms are wrapped around him tangling your fingers in his dark waves. Adam grips his large hands on your thighs hoisting you up never breaking contact with you. Your first reflex is wrapping your legs around him as he starts to walk. Pulling away you look at him, "Your breakfast is going to be cold." Adam answers with a smirk, "thank you for taking care of me but I got to take care of you first." Without hesitation warmth flooded your cheeks and core.

Adam stopped walking and set you down on the cold countertop of the kitchen island as he continued to kiss you, slipping his tongue twisting it with yours. Both of you holding on to each other like the other is going to slip away. Adam starts to move his kiss down to your neck and collar bone. He grabs the hem of your shirt and starts to pull it off over your head leaving you exposed in the middle of your kitchen. Dropping your shirt on the floor while his eyes gazing at your breasts, "fuck yes". Both his hands cup your breast messaging them and placing a kiss here and there. You let out a soft moan at his touch feeling your wetness build. A few moments go by and Adam moves down pressing his lips against your skin on each breast, stomach, and thighs saying, "lay down for me Teach." Your skin starts to heat up as you follow directions. He grabs the trim of your panties and slips them off dropping them by your shirt on the floor. A pulse is sent through your core as Adam starts kissing the inside of your thighs moving towards your center. As he gets to your folds he gently starts to lick from bottom to top stopping a moment to suck on your excited bub. Shutting your eyes you let out a "uhhhh shit" you can feel Adam grinning against your skin as he keeps licking and sucking. You can feel your pleasure building your back arches a little as your hand meets his hair holding on just enough to cause him to dig a little deeper. You hadn't realized but Adam had already pulled his length out working his hand over himself as you laid out for him. He was getting there just like you both of you building and building. Knowing it wouldn't be long you say, "fuck I'm close" within the same sentence Adam pulled you up and pushed himself in. Instantly grabbing his shoulder you both fill your apartment with curses and moans as a pulse of pleasure shot through you. Adam starts to pump into you deep as you grip on to him, probably leaving marks. You couldn't focus on one thing as the both of you start to reach your climax. Your legs wrap around him as you begin to feel the waves of pleasure rack through your body releasing a, "Adam Fuck yes". Adam grips onto your hips as he pumps into you a few more times leading him to his own pleasure filling you with a loud and growling "Fuck yeah". The two of you just hold on to each other for a moment gathering yourselves. Eyes locked on the other both of you just trying to figure the other out. The same warm complete feeling washed over the two of you neither of you mentioning anything afraid it would ruin the moment.

Once the two of you both regained your composers Adam helped you off the counter and handed you your clothes with a smirk. You blushed a little grabbing the clothes he had just peeled off you and slipped them back on. Checking the food it was indeed cold but honestly you did not care at all. Sticking each plate in the microwave they were perfectly warmed. You turn to place them on the counter and notice Adam has gotten a glass of milk and you a glass of water waiting for you to join him.

The day was spent just hanging out in your apartment all day. At some point Adam was trying to fix random issues in your apartment like the broken cabinet handle and the kitchen drawer that keeps getting stuck. You tried to convince him not to but he was determined which was cute. It was getting into the evening. Madi finally came home to find you and Adam sitting on the floor around the coffee table playing the card game war. You both were laughing and joking throughout the whole game but still trying to be competitive. Looking over your shoulder saying, "Hey Madi" giving her a look of don't you dare ask anything. She understands the look but like any bestfriend she likes to mess around and be nosey. As she comes through she says, "Hey Adam what are you doing here?" He answers quickly, "hi, just hanging out with Y/N." She reigned herself in and sat on one of the lounge chairs watching the two of you play. It was getting later when you heard your phone ringing. You hop up to find your phone when you see it you grab it quickly glancing at the name you look at Madi saying, "its my sister Evie".

You answer the phone slightly confused because she never calls you this late, "Hey Evie, what's up?" She starts to unload while crying, not being able to understand anything she is saying. "Evie sweetie take a deep breath what's going on?" you ask in a calm strong voice causing Madi and Adam to lock eyes on you. Starting to pace you can hear her taking a few deep breaths and gather her thoughts. After a minute she explains to you that your grandfather was not doing well at all. Your grandfather was an incredibly wonderful man who helped raise you with your grandmother since your parents were young when they had you. Hearing this news made your heart sink immediately your eyes started to water. Not wanting anyone to see you sprint into your room and Adam who was watching the whole thing started to get up to follow you. Madi raised her hand stopping him saying, "just give her a few minutes she likes to handle things on her own." He sits down on the couch and lets out a loud "uggghhhh".

Listening to Evie explain that your grandfather's dementia has gotten worse was killing you. She was so upset because your mom has been in denial. The relationship between your mother and you has been difficult almost your entire life. Having a child young can be difficult for anyone but as you got older you couldn't take the neglect, gaslighting, manipulation, and narcissism, so you left and went away to college and then moved in with Madi when you graduated. Evie went on to explain that mom didn't want her or your brother Aidan telling you anything because she had everything under control. Your sister listened but felt guilty till your grandfather started asking for you not understanding why you weren't there. After just a couple of minutes you had decided you had to go home to see him and your siblings. You tell your sister, "Listen I know how mom can get. Just do what you think is right. I love you and will text you when I'll be there." Taking a deep breath you head back into the living area feeling uneasy as Madi and Adam's eyes lock on you again. Not wanting to bother anyone with your issues you briefly explain the situation not letting your emotions override your actions. Popping open your laptop you search for the quickest and cheapest way to get home as well as turning in off day requests to work knowing you'd get approved because you never take days off. Adam was struggling. He was watching you. Something was off. It was like he could see through your façade of strong togetherness. He wanted to help you but he didn't want to overreach or make things worse. Madi broke the silence, "Y/N what can I do to help?" You look at her accepting her kindness with a smile, "Thanks Madi but I got it," knowing that you could count on her if you really needed her. She quietly goes into her room and grabs her small suitcase and puts it on your bed for you to use. "Got it" you burst out when you found a three day round trip flight for a really cheap price due to its middle of the night flight time.

Checking the time after buying your ticket you only had a few hours till the flight so you had to hurry. Running into your room seeing the suitcase ready to pack your emotions were about to explode. Throwing some stuff together to take you run into the bathroom to get your toiletries seeing that Madi had already put everything together for you helping anyway she could. Double checking everything then grabbing a carry on bag to hold your laptop, chargers, headphones, and whatever else miscellaneous items you needed. You start heading towards the door finally noticing Adam standing there waiting for you guilt hit you for ruining the rest of the night by leaving. "Adam I'm sorry..." you didn't even get to finish your sentence when he said, "Its fine, I got you a cab to the airport I'll ride with you it's late." not knowing what to say just looking at him in disbelief you say, "okay thank you." The two of you got in the cab the drive wasn't too long but long enough for you two to sit in that comfortable silence. Adam just watched you trying to hold it together, mind running nonstop. He wanted to help but wasn't sure how so he just carefully laid his hand on yours. Noticing the kind gesture and appreciating that he didn't pry asking questions just being there for you. You slip your hand into his letting the cab ride consume the two of you.

Your flight wasn't long but not long enough for you to prepare yourself enough to see your mom. Getting in during the middle of the night you got an Uber to take you home. Your sister Evie was waiting quietly to let you in without waking the whole house up immediately giving her a huge hug. Evie was born ten years after you then Aidan your brother two years later after her. The three of you were lucky enough to have the same dad but not lucky enough for him to stick around which didn't really matter because you had your grandfather. You go ahead and head into the house sneaking into Evie's room to get settled and rest because it would not be easy in the morning.

The next morning you woke up to arguing between your mom and Evie. You knew instantly it was about you coming to visit. Getting up heading down the hall ready to face the issue head on the room goes silent when you enter. "Hi Mom" you say as nice as you could hoping to diffuse the situation. She faces you with an irritated look, "great look who is here to grace us with her presence." she turns around walking away to do whatever it is she does. Evie comes over to you, "She'll get over it." raising an eyebrow whispering to yourself, "Yeah okay". Within the same moment you hear an excited voice, "Y/N your here". Turning around you see your baby brother Aidan and embracing him in a hug not believing how much he has grown and changed since the last time you saw him. After visiting for a few minutes you ask about grandpa. They explain how mom doesn't think he is that bad but it is. He can't remember simple things and often forgets who he is speaking to or what he is speaking about. Also his motor skills have weakened immensely, sometimes not even able to hold or grab onto things. "He doesn't remember grandma dying and keeps asking for you and her to sing for him" Evie added sadly towards the end. You rub your face with your hands to keep yourself from losing it. Getting ready for the day you try really hard to focus on good memories with your grandfather. Your siblings and you head over to your grandparents old home being greeted with the over run orange lilies you love so much. Going inside your hit with a smell that defined your childhood and it was like you were sent back in time when you spent almost every waking moment running through the house playing. You walk around the corner seeing our grandfather sitting in his chair as if the life was being drained from him. At first he was not sure who you were but after a moment of speaking he instantly recognized you. He kept asking you where you had been and you tried to explain that you had moved to Brooklyn but he couldn't hold onto the information. You spent most of the day with him hoping to help him in any way you could but he wasn't going to get better. One of the last things he said was, "Y/N, get gran, sing for me." At this point no matter how hard you tried tears were gently spilling from your eyes. It was difficult but there was no way you weren't going to sing so you say, "Gran can't sing right now but I still can." he barely can but he nods his head telling you to sing. Closing your eyes trying to focus you start to sing Hey, That's No Way To Say Goodbye by Roberta Flack one of his favorites.  
"I loved you in the morning, our kisses deep and warm  
Your hair upon the pillow like a sleepy golden storm  
Yes, many loved before us, I know that we are not new  
In city and in forest they smiled like me and you  
But now it's come to distances and both of us must try  
Your eyes are soft with sorrow  
Hey, that's no way to say goodbye"

After a long day of visiting before leaving you checked in with the home health care nurses that have been caring for him to see what his progress had been. Like your siblings had said he wasn't doing well and the nurses were trying to make him comfortable as he gets into the later stages of dementia. You thank them for everything they are doing and decide to head home. After grabbing something to eat you finally made it back home it was late but your mom was up waiting. You walk into the house hoping to sneak by but there was no chance she was waiting for you. "So you think it's ok to just abandon your family then come back whenever you feel like it." taking a deep breath trying not to get flustered by her outburst. "Mom I didn't abandon anyone, I'm making my own life. I call and keep up with what's going on and visit when I can or need to like now grandpa is not doing good." She was quick to answer "grandpa is fine, I'm taking care of him and you don't do shit. You're just worried about yourself leaving me alone with all of this." Your anger was building but you were too exhausted and emotionally worn to argue with it so you just deal, "sorry mom" you say and go straight to your sisters room.

You woke up really early the next day not on purpose but because being home is very stressful you can't sleep. Laying there you couldn't help but think, _I wish I was laying in bed with Adam right now._ You decide to get up and get ready for the day grabbing some coffee and going by to visit your grandpa again. After visiting for a little while he was exhausted so you left to let him rest going back home. As you walked in you went around the house to see what needed to be done that your mom hasn't worried one bit about. Starting with just straightening up around the house led to doing laundry, cleaning the kitchen, running to the store so your siblings had at least the basics and something you could cook for dinner. Then you find the pile of mail and bills sitting on the counter knowing that your mom hadn't paid or done anything with. You start to fill with anger thoughts running through your mind. _Why is she like this? How could she do this to Evie and Aidan? If I had stayed home maybe I could have fixed this?_ Trying not to get overwhelmed you remind yourself that this is her choice. Aidan and Evie come home from school and the three of you enjoy the time together. You are instantly reminded of when they were little and basically raising them as your mom hopped from job to job. The night goes on actually without issues your mom coming home in a good mood hopefully enjoying having all three kids home together. When things are going so smoothly you try really hard to make sure nothing is said or done to set an argument off like walking on emotional egg shells. That was all better said than done till the next morning. She was going on some rant on the phone with one of the nurses taking care of your grandfather. They were wanting to start some new medicines to help put him at ease a little more and she didn't like that. "He is doing fine. I don't want him on any more medicine he doesn't need." was the last thing she said as she hung up the phone. You walk in carefully asking if everything was okay. She explained the conversation while you just listened knowing there was no way you could change her mind no matter what you thought. After a moment went by she said, "Also don't think I didn't notice everything you did around the house yesterday. What are you trying to do to make me look like a bad mom?" taking a deep breath you say, "Mom of course not I was just trying to help since I was here."  
"Yeah you just come around when you want to, not caring to let anyone know."  
"I came because no one was telling me anything about grandpa" Anger was starting to pulse through your body.  
"Yeah well maybe if you didn't just run off and forget your family you would know things."  
"I didn't run off. Why can't you be happy I was able to go to college? Why can't you be happy that I am making a sustainable life for myself?"  
"Bullshit, ever since you were a kid you always had to out do me making me look bad, so now you're leaving us behind, and I don't even know what I could have done that was so horrible to you that you would do that." At this point you were fuming. The thing was your mom had her really great moments when you were little and you loved her so much, but it was like after your Grandmother passed she didn't care or try anymore which you had to pick up the slack for your young siblings.  
"No this is bullshit. Me trying to explain my choices to you for the millionth time. Knowing you don't really give a damn." Turning around you see your siblings watching from the hallway. Looking at them and saying, "I love you two so much. I will always be here for you. Call me anytime. Please keep me updated about grandpa." You grab your phone and order an uber, get dressed, make sure all your stuff is in your bags, and send a text to Madi saying, "Coming home early".


	10. Chapter 10

After Adam dropped you off at the airport he immediately missed your presence maybe because the two of you were together all day and fucked so good or maybe it was something else he wasn't ready to admit. He was a little worried about you while you were gone but didn't want to interrupt your time with your grandfather with a phone call or a text. Fortunately he was able to keep his mind busy with meetings and cast fittings for the guest spot he was about to start shooting. A day or two went by and Adam was walking home after having a bunch of meetings that morning. Abruptly his phone started ringing and he let out a sigh tired of dealing with people all morning. Once he dug his phone out of his pocket he was confused seeing it was Madison calling him. He answered, "Hello" and Madi started talking quickly, "Hey Adam it's Madi. Have you heard anything from Y/N?"  
"No I haven't. I thought I'd just check in with her tomorrow when she gets back."  
"Shit, she didn't tell you she was coming back early did she?"  
"No she didn't, what's going on?" Adam was worried and a little frustrated. _Why didn't she tell me?_  
"Look I'm telling you this because I care about her and I can tell you do too. After she gets back from seeing her family she has a really hard time. She knows to text me but I haven't heard from her. I'm working right now so I can't track her down or anything. So if you hear anything just let me know please."  
"Yeah I will." Adam says taking in all the information at once as he hangs up the phone. There was something telling him to go check your apartment and that's exactly what he did, having a feeling that's exactly where you'd be.

Your whole body felt numb during your flight from dealing with your grandfather's health, seeing your siblings all grown up, and dealing with your mom's issues. You tried drowning your thoughts with music but this one time no matter what you played they wouldn't quiet. The flight attendants came by to ask if you needed anything shaking your head no then slumping in your chair hoping to go to sleep but you couldn't because your mind was racing. The cab ride to your apartment was long filled with silence and the argument you had with your mother that morning replaying in your mind. Finally making it to your apartment stepping through the door you close it behind you taking a deep breath. In that moment you were alone giving your emotions permission to lose it. Your back hitting the door you slide down till you hit the floor. Taking another deep breath you let a sob rattle through your chest. You couldn't figure out if you were more sad, angry, or guilty but all three emotions were pumping through your veins. A couple of minutes go by you stand up and walk over to your records searching for a specific one you find it and put on Black Sabbath's 1970s album Paranoid. As the 70's unique metal sound rocked through your apartment, not worried about the volume you decide to unload all your emotions.

Beginning to grab your suitcase almost ripping it open. You start going through it and yelling your thoughts into the empty air. _Why do you let her get to you? Why can't she be proud of me? Did I abandon them? He can't die, he just can't!_ Your body was getting so worked up that you started grabbing clothes and throwing them all over your apartment. Once you'd gone through the clothes you found your toiletries bag and started throwing those as well. Holding a small bottle of soap not realizing where you're throwing things it flies across the apartment hitting a small mirror hanging on the wall. The shatter sound was muffled by your music but you watched as the glass hit the ground. Letting out another cry you try to reason with yourself but it's not working.

Adam made it to your apartment and could hear music blasting through the halls and without a doubt he knew it was you. He gets to your door and bangs loudly over the music. The knock brought your attention to the volume and you ran over and turned it down yelling, "sorry I'll keep it down." Adam could hear the strain in your voice, waited a second and knocked again. Irritated, you walk over to answer the door to tell whatever neighbor it was that you turned it down. You were shocked to see Adam standing there staring at you with a look you hadn't seen before. Was it concern or pity? Embarrassment consumed you that he would see you like this quickly saying, "Adam. I can't. It's not a good time. I'm sorry." Trying to close the door his large hand stops it looking around your apartment. He can see the suitcase you had packed was open clothes and toiletries thrown all over the place and the shattered mirror. Locking eyes with you even though you were trying to avoid looking at him. He could see your eyes were puffy and red from crying. "Adam, just go not now." you try pushing the door again. Adam has now pushed the door open letting himself in, "Fuck it Y/N. Tell me what's going on. Talk to me." as he closed the door behind him. "Nothing, I'm fine really please go." You say with your head down almost pleadingly hoping he would just forget it. "Obviously you're not, so talk to me." He stood there waiting for you to answer, eyes observing the huge mess you made and instantly connecting with it because he's done the same thing. You turn away from him starting to pick things up saying, "I'm fine. Everything will be fine. You can go." At this point you're almost yelling. You hated being vulnerable like this. You always had to fix everything growing up, so what's the difference now only you could fix this.  
"I'm not going anywhere." He used the same words you used for him that night he came over upset. This made you turn around to look at him instantly realizing how important he had become to you in such a short amount of time. You just look at him for a few minutes contemplating what you were going to say. Whatever you'd say you just knew he would think you're crazy, but there was this connection you had with him that told you he would maybe understand.

He watched you as you struggled to come up with the words to express yourself. Walking closer to you he bends over and wraps his arms around you feeling how tense you were. After a moment it was like your body melted against him letting you wrap your arms around him creating a sense of security and safety you hadn't felt in a long time. He held you tight not wanting to let you go; it was tearing him up to see you like this. Working up the confidence to open up you say, "My grandfather is dying and there's nothing I can do to stop it. I got in a fight with my mom and I'm afraid my brother and sister think I've abandoned them." After your pained admittance you let out an exhausted cry relieving some pressure off your chest. Holding you tighter Adam tilted your head to look at him and used your own words again when you comforted him, "tell me if there is something I can do to help." Suddenly everything you were feeling before was being pushed away and you just needed him here with you, "I'm just so tired." Adam immediately picks you up carrying you to your bedroom laying you down carefully. As he puts you down he pulls the covers back, you grab his hand asking, "will you stay here". He slips in next to you wrapping his arms around you replying "Y/N I'm always here."

Hearing him say that put you at so much ease letting your tension settle as you curled up closer to him. It was like he knew exactly what you needed. Adam could see that no matter how much you protested that you would be fine that really you just needed someone there for you. His arms still holding you close made your worries and anxieties melt away. This allowed you to fall into a deep sleep. Adam laid with you for a good while just holding you enjoying having you so close to him. At some point he carefully slipped out of bed not waking you and cleaned up the angry mess you made. Putting all your clothes and things back into your suitcase so you can put them away later where you wanted them. He even carefully picked up the broken mirror and swept up the glass on the floor. Adam stayed with you the rest of the day and night making sure you had plenty of rest and you ate. He even checked in with Madi letting her know he was there with you and that you were upset but everything was okay. Adam felt like it was his job to take care of you even though you didn't ask, but he just had this feeling like he knew how to help you.

After that night Adam and you were almost inseparable if it wasn't for work. It started as talking on the phone on your way home from work or before bed pretty much everyday. This went on for a week or so till you missed his call due to an extra long staff meeting one day. Once you finally got home you found he was there waiting for you. Adam started coming over all the time, staying over on the weekends and hanging out more with Peter and Madi even when you weren't around. When all four of you spent time together it was like Madi was analyzing every little gesture or look the two of you shared to decode the untimely close relationship as the BFF/love guru. Peter was just happy to have someone else to talk to plus Adam and him were already friends so their interactions were natural. The two of you would hang out, watch movies, sit in comfortable silence working each on your own stuff, and most importantly fucking. Everything seems too perfect like a dream. Internally you were battling your thoughts _this is too good to be true_. Both of you struggled with admitting to what this was not wanting to ruin anything neither of you mentioned anything just going with the flow. As if the two of you shared the same mind and thought process.

Adam was genuinely so happy when he was around you or just simply hearing your voice. He was getting excited as he started getting ready for the new jobs he had coming up. His manager Anne had set up some new headshots as well as some screen tests to send out to different productions, and he started filming for one of the tv shows he was doing a guest spot on. Adam kept sending you pictures of the different scenery from the photoshoots and sets not explaining any details just sending one picture at a time. A huge smile would come across his face with every reply of support you sent. The way you undoubtedly encouraged him without questioning him or making him feel like what he was doing wasn't important filled him with confidence.

The same effect you had on Adam he had on you. Work had been so much more enjoyable. Finishing your last reading recovery small group for the day you head towards your office. Walking down the hallway hearing a few kids wave and say, "Hi Ms.Y/Lastname". You greet them with a big smile asking where they were headed. Excitedly answering, "to Mr.M's classroom for music." Replying with the same amount of excitement, "that's so crazy I'm going there too we can walk together. Let's see who can walk there first." Instantly the kids started to power walk and you start to laugh. Once you all made it to Mr. Miller's classroom you all walked in announcing "were ready for the music" the rest of the students and Mr. Miller started to laugh. Jaxon's smile doesn't fade as he grabs some papers from his desk and heads towards the front of the room. You make your way over to the other students saying, "what's up my friends" giving a high five to everyone as you hear about 100 "Hi Ms.Y/Lastname." As you finish the last high five you say a goodbye and start to head out the door but before you could make it Jaxon was stopping you. "Hey remember you said you could sub for me? Could you do it later this week?" He asked with a big hopeful smile. You thought for a moment and he could tell you were debating it so he added, "look I already have my lesson plans done" waving the paper victoriously in the air. You let out a laugh taking the lessons from his hands and saying, "sure I can, but you owe me!" Returning a laugh he nods, "Thanks".

Coming in that following Thursday and Friday to a classroom was exciting you hadn't actually taught a full class for a couple of years now. You read over the lesson plans and got everything together for the day. For the younger classes their lesson was music notes and for the older classes their lesson was time signatures. On Friday you decided to make the lessons a little more fun and brought candy letting the students get in groups and play guess that music note and time signature getting a piece of candy every time they got an answer right. You had a really great day and wanted to share it with someone the first person who came to mind was Adam. Once the day was done you got out as quickly as possible making your way home. You decide to call Adam to see what he's up to quickly he answers, "Hey Teach ." with a smile you reply, "Hey, are you busy?" starting to make your way towards his apartment that you didn't know exactly where it was. "No, why what's up?" he said curiously. "Are you at your apartment?" you asked excitedly. By this point you have made your way in the general direction of his apartment but you didn't know which building was his so you stop to hear his answer. He laughed a little, "Yes, what the fuck are you up to?" Looking around hoping to figure out which building you say, "Which building is yours cause im just looking around like a fucking idiot." Adam was so confused but went to his window to look out on the street and instantly his eyes found you. He took you in for a moment enjoying the way your jeans hugged your curves and the way you had unbuttoned your blouse just a little was enough for him. After a minute he heard you, "Adam?" and he came back to reality, "turn around, brown building, 2nd level." You did as he said looking around and you found him hanging out his window with a big grin that you matched. Before you can say anything he says, "fuck you look hot get up here." Without a second thought you make your way towards the door waiting for a buzz pulling it once it did and quickly starting up the stairs. Still on the phone you say in a slow enticing voice, "oh Sackler what am I going to do with you." The only thing he could respond was a low breathy growl.

Making your way up the stairs then down the hall to find him standing in his doorway no shirt just jeans and socks on. You hang up the phone and slow your pace just barely stopping in front of him locking eyes sheepishly saying, "hey". Adam's arms reached out looping his index fingers in your belt loops pulling you forward against his body, "hey" he said almost in a whisper. Quickly both of your lips were colliding together passionately. Adam starts moving out of the doorway fingers still hooked on your jeans pulling you with him effortlessly kicking the door closed. You easily follow his lead, an arm snaking around his shoulders and a hand resting on the back of his neck while your other arm is dragging your work bags behind you. Breaking for a moment to catch your breaths your eyes catch a table and you carefully toss your bags on top. Adam starts quickly kissing down your neck and chest then moving down your body humming causing your clothes to vibrate against your skin. All of a sudden Adam repositioned his arms around your legs lifting you up and almost completely over his shoulder. You let out a half yell half laugh causing Adam to enjoy this even more giving you a playful smack on the ass. You had never been like this with anyone else but something about Adam just checked all of your boxes. After that smack you were ready for him.

Adam carried you across the room and flopped you down on the couch. Eyes meeting you looking at him standing over you and your skin immediately starts to heat up. Slowly you start to unbutton your top even more, not breaking eye contact with him as you slip it off. Adam just watches as you undress for him. He goes to unbutton his pants but you beat him to it. You slowly unbutton and pull down his pants letting go for him to step out. He kicks them to the side bending over to do the same to you. Starting with grabbing your shoes off and throwing them across his apartment without a care where they landed. Then he started tugging at your jeans almost pulling you off the couch making you let out another laugh. Adam smirks and finally pulls your jeans off as he throws them to the side quickly you slip your panties off letting it hang off your finger. His eyes meet yours and grins you say, "oh Sackler" as you twirled your panties in your fingers then throw them at him. He instantly caught them and sling shotted them back at you before tackling you on the couch. Both of you laugh as he grabs and kisses your body. A moment goes by and he finds your lips both of you passionately moving together tongues twisting effortlessly. Taking a breath you feel Adam's warm breath on your neck. "Fuck I want you right now" he says in low growl against your skin. You answer almost in a whisper, "fuck me then." Before you knew it Adam had you laid down on the couch as he entered you sending a pulse of pleasure through your body letting out a low moan. You feel the pressure start to build as he fills you with his length. He steadily thrusts into you creating a good rhythm for both of you. Adam looks down at you and the way you take him. He loves the way you are always ready for him, the way you tease him, and even the way your body moves with him. Picking up speed you both hold onto the other as your pleasures build together. Adam leans over you almost face to face as he digs deeper inside you. Both of your arm's reach around him pulling him a little closer and a little deeper. You let out a louder moan as he fills you better. Adam smiles, "shit yes. I love hearing you." He pumps a little faster as he gets closer. After hearing him say that you couldn't help yourself but let our every noise, curse, or moan. This told Adam to keep going. Sooner than later the two of you were both reaching your climax and suddenly you both were pushed over the edge. Adam basically almost collapses on top of you as the two of you finish.

After a minute or two he pulls out then laying next to you on the couch wrapping an arm around you pulling you in. You gratefully accept his embrace by snuggling a little closer wrapping an arm around him and gently playing with a few strands of his dark wavy hair in between your fingers. The two of you just lay there in each other's embrace for a while not moving, not talking, not doubting, but just enjoying the moment together trying to make sense of the significance the two of you were feeling for the other. Some time had passed and Adam lifted his head looking at you, your eyes met his ready to listen. He said, "My manager invited me to this agency party tomorrow. It's like a holiday/get to know some of the new talent type party thing and I wasn't really sure I was going to go but she said it would be good to make some connections plus I could bring someone. So I was thinking maybe you'd go with me if you want?" You thought for a moment asking while still twirling a strand of hair, "you want me to be your date for your fancy actor party?" He smiles and rolls his eyes at your response. "Yes Y/N. Will you be my date?" Looking into his eyes you see something and you can't name it but something about it drew you in. With a badly hidden excited look you answer, "Yes Adam I guess I'll be your date", in a playful sarcastic tone. This caused Adam to grip tighter around you pulling your face closer to him. In his low playful voice he said, "you better have said Fucking yes" you in turn matching his tone with a smile say, "yeah and if I didn't what would you have done about it." He looks straight in your eyes touching foreheads saying, "oh I'll fucking show you." That was the start of round two.


	11. Chapter 11

You wake up late Saturday morning in Adam's bed. Rolling over you find Adam sitting up reading what looks like a script. You lay there just watching him read to himself his eyes focusing on the paper as his brow wrinkles a little. Trying to glance at the words to see what part he is working on you failed so you ask, "What role is this one for?" He grinned at your question, eyes not leaving the page answering, "this is for that legal drama where I'm playing the small town store owner whose wife goes missing." You keep watching him enjoying how cute he looks when he's focused. "Sounds interesting can you tell me how it ends", you say teasingly as you scoot a little closer to him. He finally breaks his concentration and looks down at you saying, "you'll have to wait just like everyone else." Reading his expression you can tell he is serious so you say as you roll your eyes, "yeah okay." You start to roll over the other way till you feel his two strong arms wrap around you him saying, "where do you think you're going?". Effortlessly he is able to flip you back over as you laugh at his reaction trying to get away to no avail. He finally grabs both of your wrists and pends you down on his bed looking straight into your eyes. The two of you share a moment of just looking into each other's eyes seeing each other for who they were. He comes closer to you pressing his lips against yours until you meet his rhythm as you entangle your fingers with his. A few moments go by and the two of you separate to catch your breath Adam laying his head on your chest holding you there.

You look over and notice the time on his alarm clock next to his bed showing a little after noon . Brushing his hair with your fingers you ask, "What time is the party tonight?". Still just laying there he answers, "7 but we should leave around 6 because we have to go into the city on the weekend." Suddenly it hit you. You were going to some fancy party with no idea if you had anything nice enough to wear. Asking curiously, "what's the dress code?". Adam still not moving and just casually answering, "uhh nice I'm sure." You try to mentally go through your closet to figure out what you could wear to a fancy actor party and nothing is coming to mind. A few more minutes go by the two of you just perfectly stuck together. You reluctantly decided you needed to get up and go find something to wear for the party. Getting up to leave was hard because you enjoyed just laying and being there with Adam, but you had to go. You searched his apartment for your jeans in nothing but panties and a sweater of his you borrowed the night before. Slipping your jeans on when you found them. Adam had found your shoes he threw across his apartment the day before and handed them to you. Taking them with a "thanks" and putting them on. Heading towards the door you grab your bags stuffing your leftover clothes in. As you start to walk out Adam grabs your arm turning you to face him saying, "I'll see you later". Giving him an excited smile, "yes. I'll be ready just text me when you're ready to go." He matches your smile and you lean up giving a gentle but caring kiss on the cheek saying bye on the way out.

You rush home so you have plenty of time to find something to wear, get ready, and mentally prepare for the night. Heading into your apartment you go straight for your closet shuffling through your clothes. Nothing you came across said nice actor holiday party so you decided to raid Madi's closet. You figured she would have something but then you remember her more carefree style wasn't always something you felt comfortable in. Still you searched and found a cute dark green jumpsuit but you just didn't think it was nice enough. Out of nowhere you hear a knock on the door. You walk over not sure who it would be still holding the jumpsuit opening the door to find Mrs. Jones holding your mail. "Hi dear I thought since I was getting mine I could bring you yours.", she says handing it to you. "Thank you Mrs. Jones, you didn't have to do that.", you say while accepting the mail. "It's no problem. What are the nice clothes for?", she asks with a curious smile. You smile back answering, "Adam invited me to a holiday party for his acting agency his manager belongs to. I am trying to find something nice to wear, but I can't find anything.". It was like a light bulb went off and she said, "follow me I have something to show you.".

You follow her not sure what she would be showing you but you did as she asked. The two of you went downstairs to her apartment and she led you to her closet. She looked at you and said, "When I was your age I think we were close in size. I have this dress. It was my oldest sister in the late 40's. By the time it got passed down to me I decided to alter it a little to fit my style and be a little sexy." she finished with a wink and smile. You looked at her with excitement not sure what to expect. "I was hoping my daughter or granddaughters would like it one day, but it hasn't worked out." she says as she reached into the way back of her closet pulling out a black zipped up garment protector. She holds it up and gestures for you to unzip the bag. Carefully you unzip the bag revealing one of the most beautiful dresses you had ever seen. It was a gorgeous red color with off the shoulder straps detailed with lace across the top half. You were speechless for a moment not sure what to say. Mrs. Jones enjoyed the reaction and said, "I'm not sure if you'd like something this old, but I have taken really good care of it." Meeting her eyes you say, "this dress is absolutely beautiful. I can't take it. What if something happens to it. It's too important.". Quickly she answered, "Y/N you are important. I want you to have a good night with that wonderful man in this dress.". You look at her taking in what she said trying to make yourself believe it. "Do this for me please. I want it worn one more time." she adds as she watched you battle the decision. Realizing the importance of this moment you take the dress and say, "if it fits i'll wear it.". Mrs. Jones gives you a huge smile accepting your answer and watching you walk into the bathroom to try it on. You shed your shoes, jeans, and Adam's sweater then slip the dress on over your head. The Chiffon material brushed against your skin perfectly as the straps fell off your shoulders just right. The dress wasn't too tight or too big just enough room to feel comfortable. Looking in the mirror you almost didn't recognize yourself in a good way. You hear "let me see how it looks" coming from the other side of the door. Opening the door you step out so she can see how it looks instantly she says, "you look perfect". Honestly you actually in that moment believed her and knew this was what you would wear tonight.

Getting changed out of the dress back into your clothes you thank Mrs. Jones a million times for the dress. You head back into your apartment to finish getting ready. Taking the dress out of the bag you hang it on the back of your door to look at it again. The dress was gorgeous and you couldn't believe that it had lasted all these years and still looked so good. It was simple but not too simple, nice but not too fancy just right for a NYC holiday party. You head over to your record player looking through to find something to listen to while you get ready. Your fingers find The Bee Gees' 1979 Greatest Album you put it on and let the soft disco pop sound fill your apartment. Cleaning up the mess you made in Madi's closet when you were on a search for something to wear. Checking the time you only had a couple of hours so you decide to jump in the shower. Washing your hair, your body, conditioning, detangling your hair, and then shaving. When you finished you rinsed off and got out to dry off, rake some hair products through your hair letting it air dry you go to do your makeup. You settled on doing your normal simple makeup routine of moisturizer, foundation, concealer, setting powder, brows, mascara, but adding a little spice with a cat eyeliner look, and a neutral lip. Once you finished checking your hair it was almost dry so you decided to fix it your favorite way letting a few strands shape your face and complement the off the shoulder design of the dress. You realized you need shoes and a purse. Digging through your stuff you found a cute black clutch you hadn't used in awhile. For shoes you knew you would have to go back to Madi's closet again which you were thankful for because she had great shoes and you two were the same size. Luckily you had found a nice pair of black heels with a single strap around your ankle and the top of your foot. It matched perfectly with the clutch which filled you with excitement. Finally it was time to put the dress on and once you did you felt amazing but nervous at the same time. It was like even though you knew Adam and the two of you had done so much together it was like butterflies on a first date. Standing in front of your mirror you adjust the dress making sure everything looks just right when you hear your phone chime. Checking it you see a text from Adam saying, "I'll be there in a minute. Want me to come up?". You smile and respond, "yes, I'm almost ready.". You walk over to your dresser and stick your grandmother's small diamond stud earrings in. Hearing your door open you call out, "I'm in my room be out in a minute.". Sitting on the end of your bed you slip the heels on. Once you got them on you grab the clutch and a nice jacket for the cold New York night.

Walking out of the bedroom you find Adam turning your record player off and putting your record away so it wouldn't get scratched. You couldn't see all of him but he was wearing a nice dark suit with a white button up shirt and a red tie. The red in his tie almost matched your dress exactly. As he turned to face you his hair fell naturally framing his handsome face perfectly. Adam was taken aback when he saw you. He honestly was at a loss of words. He couldn't stop looking at you the way your hair fell, the shape of the dress, the color, the way you just effortlessly looked stunning. His eyes roamed your body over and over again. You look at him and say, "is it too much I can try to find something else." Adam found the words now, "No don't change. It's perfect. You look beautiful." His words made you blush and look at the floor out of nervousness. He walked closer to you grabbing your jacket holding it up to help you put it on. You accepted his offer and slipped your arms in then adjusting it to fit right. Adam stuck his elbow out saying, "ready to go Teach?". You answer with a smile wrapping your arm around his, "lets go Sackler".

Adam was a little nervous for the party because he knew some important people would be there. He couldn't describe how much it put him at ease that you said you would go with him. Just knowing that you were there to support him filled him with so much confidence that he knew it would be a good night. When he got to your apartment he walked right in like usual. He heard you say you were almost ready and the record player clicked off indicating it was done. Adam walked over to make sure it didn't get scratched and one less thing you had to do. He put the record away and turned around to find you standing there. He couldn't believe how beautiful you were. It was in that moment he was realizing how important you had become to him in such a short amount of time. A new feeling was washing over the two of you. It was like no matter how comfortable the two of you had become, there was this new energy of excitement and nervousness shared. The two of you walked together to the subway platform. There was a little wait for the train but it was nice just standing there with each other not saying a word just wrapped together in that comfortable silence. Once the subway came the two of you got on and found a place to stand towards the back due to it being packed for the weekend. More and more people start to pack in at every stop. Adam at one point moves around you grasping the pole above you allowing you to move closer to him as more people get on. Towards the end of the ride so many people were getting on and off that the two of you just stuck together perfectly making room for others enjoying how close the two of you were. Finally it came to your stop. Adam grabs your hand tangling your fingers with his leading the way. Once you get above ground you see how gorgeous the city is at Christmas. Of course you had seen it before but it always surprises you.

The two of you walked through the busy city streets pointing out different decorations that caught your eye or just looked cute. Adam had a huge grin the whole time enjoying your excitement at the simple things. Reaching the agency building right on time getting in line to go in you observe the people around you. Reassured you see many other women in nice/fancy outfits. Your nerves about your dress settle a little. Adam guides you where to go with his hand on your back stepping up to the doorman he asks for a name Adam answers confidently, "Adam Sackler and Y/N Y/L agent Anne Wilson". The doorman checks his list and smiles, "Yes, both of you are right here. Enjoy the night." Both of you say "thanks" and go inside where you check your jacket in and head into the main event room. The room was decorated with red and green everywhere. Huge Christmas trees filled the four corners of the room as twinkling Christmas lights hung from the ceiling. Adam couldn't help but stare at you watching the way you react to everything. He continues to guide you around the room with his hand low on your back stopping to say hi and introduce you to a couple fellow actors Adam has worked with or will be working with. You engage everyone with a warm hello, nice to meet you, and caring smile. Adam was bewitched by the way you openly and kindly interact with everyone, so effortless, honest, and selfless Hannah or Jessa would have never been like this for him. You were always surprising him challenging him and he loved it. After finishing an interaction you looked over at Adam who was staring at you. "What is it?" You ask a little confused, he shakes his head answering quickly, "oh nothing I want to introduce you to my manager Anne." Again he guides you with his hand even lower on your back now not minding one bit.

Adam leads you around the room till he finds Anne. She was a beautiful older middle aged woman wearing a long black dress with silver beaded snowflakes on the skirt. The two of you walked up waiting for her to finish her conversation but once she noticed Adam the conversation was over. "Adam I'm so glad you came. I have some people I want to introduce you to later. Also who is this gorgeous lady you have with you?" Adam smiles and looks at you then back at Anne, "Hi Anne, this is Y/N Y/L." Anne looks at Adam then at you with a curious smile saying, "Oh hi your the teacher. I've heard a few things about you." A little thrown off at the thought of Adam talking about you, but still keeping a kind composure you laugh a little saying, "I hope it was good things." Answering quickly she said, "of course. One thing I've heard is how amazing of a singer you are. If an artist like him is saying this I trust them. Let me know if you ever want to try anything professionally. I'd love to help you out." You were shocked to hear what she was saying all you could do was look up at Adam completely speechless. He took this as the cue to answer for you saying with a smile, "thanks Anne she'll definitely think about it." Energetically, "Great! Now the two of you have a great night, eat, dance, and mingle." Adam now brushes the lace on the back of your dress easing the nerves that surged through your body. The two of you moved on saying hi to a couple more people then finding your table to eat.

Dinner was delicious and you enjoyed the conversations with the other people at the table. One was an actor and his wife Adam knew from auditions. The other couple of actors were ones Adam was about to start working with on another project in a few weeks. People started getting up and filling the dance floor. The music was a mixture of slow and fast songs with a couple of Christmas songs thrown in here and there. Adam was in mid conversation with someone at the table when you noticed Anne making her way over. You lean over rubbing a hand across Adam's wide shoulders and whisper in his ear, "Anne is coming this way." He looked at you giving you a wink as a thank you and turned to see Anne. She had a big smile saying, " I'm sorry to interrupt but can I barrow Adam for a few minutes." Adam makes eye contact with you to see if you were good you reassured him with, "absolutely he's all yours." As he got up he gave your hand a gentle squeeze reassuring you he wouldn't be too long. You watched him walk away enjoying how hot he looked in that suit. After a minute or two you were the only one sitting at the table as you waited for Adam to come back. You sit completely content with how great the night was going. Usually you struggle with meeting new people or big events but honestly it was so nice and easy knowing Adam was there with you. More and more people started dancing, enjoying just observing everyone in the beautifully decorated room. The server comes by asking if you needed anything and you ask for two waters, one for Adam and you. Still just observing you notice someone sit in a chair next to you but it wasn't Adam.

You turn to look who it is and it was someone you had never met before. It was a tall handsome guy with a drink in hand. The two of you make eye contact and he says, "Hi im Elijah, I know you don't know me but I just wanted to see who you were because I saw you with Adam." You look at him a little confused but you stay nice, "Hi I am Y/N, yeah Adam and I are friends. Do you know him?" taking a sip of his drink he says, "Oh yeah we go way back. I thought him and Jessa were together?" Thinking for a moment you knew very little of Adams past relationships it wasn't your style to pry or get into people's business. You saw it as if they wanted you to know they would tell you, but this isn't the first time Jessa has been brought up in casual conversation. Answering you say, "Yeah I think they haven't been together for a while now." he looked at you like he was trying to get the dirt or gossip on the situation, "I heard she ran off like she always does?" Now you know that's exactly what he was wanting you to say, "Well if that's what you heard then why are you asking me? Honestly I don't know anything and if I did it's not my place to discuss it." He was surprised at your response, taking another drink then saying, "You're different. I like that. Also your dress is very vintage chic. I love it." before you could respond you heard Adam, "Elijah?". "Hey Adam. How are you? I was just keeping your date here company." Elijah said excitedly. Adam gave you a confused look that you matched. Adam answered, "I'm good. What are you doing here?". Elijah drunkenly smiled and answered, "After leading that musical I was able to go on and get a couple more really good jobs now I'm dating a agent guy. Just thought I'd come over and say hi." Adam laughed a little and said, "that's good. I guess I'll see you around." Elijah agreed and said bye and went on. You started to laugh a little completely confused by the whole interaction. Adam walks closer by you outstretching his hand and asks, "Want to go dance?" without a word you grab his hand and give a nod yes. Hand in hand he leads the way to the dance floor.

The two of you move together in a rhythmic motion together meeting the beat of the music. It reminded you of the first night you met at the cast party dancing with him but this time there was no Madi to interrupt. Adam was captivated by the way your body moved to the music. Watching the way your dress moved and twirled with every spin. You were infatuated with the way Adam was so good at dancing. Every time he embraced you or moved with you it was like you melted together. The music started to transition to a softer slower tone. The next song starts to play and you recognize it right away Wonderful Tonight by Eric Clapton. You turn to face Adam and say with a shy smile, "I love this song." Without missing a moment he slips a hand behind your back pulling you close your hand resting on either side of his biceps you slowly move them up and around Adam's neck intertwining your fingers looking straight into his eyes as he is doing the same. The two of you sway together flawlessly both of you holding on to the other like they would disappear. After a moment you get a little closer laying your head against his chest. Adam takes a deep breath and wraps his arms around you even more savoring every moment. A couple more slow songs played and the two you stayed right there swaying together to each song.

The night was getting late and Adam was starting to have his fill. The two of you start to head out when you are stopped by Anne, "Adam. Y/N. I hope the two of you had a great time tonight." Both of you smile and assure her the party was great. She says to Adam with a hopeful tone grabbing his shoulder, "The producers were very impressed with your screen tests and meeting you tonight. I'm sure i'll be hearing from them soon." Adam was surprised and excited he said, "that's great thanks so much Anne." She smiles and squeezes his shoulder out of excitement, "I told you kid you have something special. Now the two of you go and have a great rest of your night. Also remember Y/N I'm here if you want to sing." She starts to walk away and the two of you say goodbye and wave still blown away by the idea of Adam talking to her about your singing. On the way out you grab your jacket and Adam helps you slip it on. Walking outside the cold air hits you making you grab onto Adam for warmth. Just like the walk to the party you were blown away again by the gorgeous Christmas lights that lit up the city. Once the two you got on the train back home it wasn't packed being able to gab two seats staying snuggled close together. Adam had wrapped his arm around you causing you to lay your head in the nook of his neck. You look up at him gently saying, "I had fun tonight." His eyes met your saying, "yeah I did too." With a mischievous smile you say, "Yeah I think its cause im the best date ever." Matching your smile and getting a little closer lowering his voice, "oh yeah you think so. I think it was because you were the fucking hottest date." keeping the playful tone, "Well if I was the hottest date tonight you owe me. I need a hot date for my work Christmas party." He narrowed his eyes at you, "I think that can be arranged." Now you couldn't help but let out a small laugh and say, "oh really that would be great." The two of you still snuggled up together rode the rest of the way home with two huge smiles.

Finally it was your stop and the two of you rushed above ground to get back to your apartment because it was getting colder by the minute . Stopping outside your building you are searching for your keys. Adam is standing right behind you and snakes his arms around you, slipping his hands into the front pockets of your jacket and placing his head in the crook of your neck. You ask curiously but playful, "What are you doing". Not moving, letting his breath hit the back of your neck, "what? your jacket is warmer than mine," as he places a kiss on the back of your neck. Getting the key in and turning it you say, "oh yeah it is pretty warm too warm. I'm getting really hot in this jacket and dress." Adam let out a big sigh that vibrated against your skin and made his grip around you tighten, "Shit we cant have you over heating. I gotta get you out of these clothes quickly." The door to your building pops open and the two of you make your way in. You turn around and look right at Adam with a smirk saying, "yeah you better hurry you don't want me to have a heat stroke." He matched your expression and then two of you hurry up the stairs to get to your apartment as quickly as possible.


	12. Chapter 12

The week leading up to Christmas break is always very hectic at school. Students are ready for a break and are trying to get out of doing any real work. Teachers are trying to finish end of semester assessments and grades. Then there are parties and programs which you were lucky enough to help with. Jaxon came by your office after seeing how much his students learned from you when you subbed for him the week before. He asked if you would help him with the Christmas program since he didn't have a teacher's assistant. Of course you said yes because that's what you did you liked helping. This added an extra hour to your day everyday that week for rehearsals. The program wasn't a big production, just some classic Christmas songs and a few poems, but working with kids you learn practice really makes perfect. As well as preparing for whatever situation kids throw at you because honestly you never know what to expect from them.

All week you had been so busy that you had barely seen Adam. However, he had been equally busy as well finishing filming for the tv show he's been working on. You were excited for him and loved hearing him tell you all about it when the two of you talked on the phone. He listened to you as you discussed how crazy the week was, but also how much fun you had been having working with the Christmas program. On the second to last day of school you make your way home in the cold December weather. You get to your apartment to a wonderful surprise Adam. He was there sitting on the couch talking with Peter telling him all about the inner workings of the tv show he was guest starring on. Peter following up with how the production of the Christmas Carol he was working on was going. Madi was throwing together a salad to go with some take out they had gotten. "Y/N you're finally home. It's like we've barely seen you this week." Madi says concerningly. You give a nice smile as you shed your bags and jacket replying, "I know it's been crazy, but tomorrow is the last day then 3 weeks off." That was one of your favorite parts of your job was school holidays. After getting your stuff put up you look over and notice Adam looking at you as if he was seeing you for the first time. You shoot him a playful expression walking over to join them on the couch. Slipping in between Peter and Adam he shifts slightly letting you lean over on him wrapping an arm around you. After a few minutes go by Madi announces, "salad is ready everyone come get food." Peter doesn't hesitate he is always ready to eat. Looking over your shoulder you see him run into the kitchen giving Madi a quick kiss then making himself a plate. Adam scoots a little closer to you putting his head on your shoulder taking a deep breath. Grabbing onto his arm that's wrapped around you to create more contact you ask, "everything good?". Taking another deep breath he says, "it is now." Turning to look at him the best you could, you ask, "busy week for you too?" He didn't say anything but you felt him squeeze you a little tighter and shake his head yes. The two of you just sat there for a moment together as you brushed your hand against his arm. Madi of course has to pipe up and say, "hey you two better get over here before this food gets cold." Adam lets out a loud "uuuhhh" before rolling almost completely on top of you making you laugh from the pressure and playfulness. He gets up and stretches his hand for you to take you do and the two of you join the others for dinner.

Once everyone is done eating you start to clean up. It was an unspoken rule in the apartment if you didn't get dinner together you cleaned up. Adam gathered all the plates and put them in the sink for you as you started to pack away leftovers. Peter gathers up trash as Madi asks, "Y/N what are you going to do for Christmas? My sister wanted me to tell you your welcome to spend it with us." You appreciate Madi's offer and usually you would take her up on it, but with your grandfather not doing well you feel like you should go visit again since it could be his last Christmas. Looking up and meeting her eyes you say, "tell your sister that is very kind of her but I'm going to pass this year." Madi looked a little confused, "then what are you going to do." You can feel everyone's eyes on you waiting for an answer, "I think I'm going to go back home for a couple days." The room was silent for a minute, everyone taking in what you said and understanding why you'd go, but not wanting you to have to go through anything unnecessarily like your mom's bullshit. After a minute you look around and say, "I'll be fine. I'm just going for a couple days then I'll be back." Madi was quick to answer, "I can come with you if you want. We can make it a whole girls Christmas trip." You laughed at her response saying, "No your family is here and they are expecting you. I'll be fine. Peter tell her." Peter glances between the two of you and says, "if Y/N says she's fine then she's fine. I hope the trip is good." Quickly you say, "see thank you Peter." Madi just being an empathetic friend rolls her eyes saying, "ok fine." You finish what you were doing when out of nowhere Adam says, "yeah Y/N will be fine because I'm going with her." Everyone in the apartment stared at him including you. You couldn't believe what he was saying. Part of you was annoyed that he just inserted himself, but a bigger part of you was excited and thankful. Not saying a word you gave him that look the two of you have shared too many times you were trying to figure him out. Peter and Madi looked at each other with a huge smile then back at the two of you both in unison, "that sounds great."

It was the last day of school before Christmas break, one of the funnest but craziest days of the year. You come into work with a cute and simple Christmas sweater on saying, "Merry Christmas" to passing coworkers. Everyone came in a little earlier today because the principal wanted to have a short staff meeting. Everyone filled into the conference room you finding a spot to stand against the wall next to Mr. Miller listening to the same speech about how great of a first semester we had, important things to think about over break like lesson plans and self care, and then wished everyone a very merry Christmas and a happy new year. Jaxon and you shared sarcastic looks throughout the entire meeting trying not to laugh. The day goes by quickly you went by visiting your students and giving them a little treat bag gift wishing them all a merry Christmas. Later you had one more rehearsal for the Christmas program that was later that evening. Then you helped the office staff dismiss for break. After all that was done you rushed home so you could change for the program. Quickly you run into your room to find your outfit you had laid out the night before a simple black long sleeve top that you tuck into a black and red checkered midi slightly form fitting skirt. Once you were dressed you found some flats to slip on then you grabbed your jacket and purse. As you left the apartment you remembered that Adam was supposed to meet you at the school after the program for the party. Putting your headphones in making your way back to school your surrounding fade away as I Would Die 4 U by Prince starts playing.

When you get back to school you head straight for your office to chill for a couple of minutes before getting things for the Christmas program ready when you hear your phone chime. Sitting at your desk you pull your phone out seeing it's from Adam, "what time is the program?" You reply with, "6pm, but you don't have to be here till 7pm for the party." The afternoon went on without another text from Adam making you think. _What is he up to?_ It was time to set things up for the program you join Jaxon in the auditorium. You grab decorations and start arranging them where they needed to go and turning lights on while Jaxon made sure the risers were adjusted and locked. Before you knew it the kids were arriving in their adorable Christmas apparel, you checked them all in as they got there. Once everyone was present there was enough time for one more run through which went great. It was 6pm on the nose and you checked to see if everyone was seated. You looked out into the crowd seeing many family members and friends of the students then noticing one tall strong figure towards the back. All of a sudden it hit you, it was Adam. A surge of exhilaration went through your body at the thought of him being here to support you. It was time to start and you gave Jaxon the signal to start. The program starts opening the curtains and the audience "awwes" as they see their children on stage. Jaxon starts, "Good Evening everyone. We are so excited to perform for you all tonight. First off before we get started as head of the fine arts department here I want to give a big thank you to a couple of people. Thank you to the principal and school board members for allowing us to have a great arts department to be able to teach and develop young artists. Lastly, I want to thank my good friend Ms.Y/Lastname." He starts to motion for you to come off the side stage and into the light. You start to protest because attention is not your thing. "Come on Ms.Y/Lastname." You give up and step out quickly hoping to get it done and over with but Jaxon goes on. "She has stepped up and helped me more than anyone knows. I honestly would not have been able to pull this off without her. From helping with song selections, arrangements, decorations, and even helping teach these wonderful students to sing she did it all. So thank you Ms.Y/Lastname." Honestly you were blown away because you were a person who just did what needed to be done. You were feeling overwhelmed when you caught Adam's eyes staring at you like you had just done the most wonderful thing. Instantly it was calming you. Adam was amazed. He knew you worked hard and you helped but he didn't know how much you helped. Again you were surprising him and he was awestruck.

The program went off without a hitch. The student sang and read their poems so well everyone was in awe at their accomplishment. Adam watched you from across the room interacting with the students and their families loving the way you lit up communicating so easily, honestly, and compassionately. Finally you made your way over towards him he was applauding as if you just gave a wonderful performance. You give him an annoyed look, "stop it I didn't do anything." Getting the reaction he wanted he smiled even bigger, "look at you Teach your big stuff." Looking at him again you roll your eyes and smile standing next to him,"it's not that big a deal." He leans over placing a hand on your back whispering in your ear, "the program was great. You did a really fucking fantastic job". He stood back up just looking at you letting a true smile creep across your face you say softly, "thanks".

Once all the parents and students cleared out it was time for the staff party. It was nothing like Adam's just a bunch of teachers excited for break. The gym had been decorated a little with some garland, Christmas lights, and a Christmas tree. There was no order or routine to the party; it was left up to you what you wanted to do. There was a section for Christmas karaoke, games, tables to eat and drink, and plenty of room to mingle and talk. Adam and you walked into the gym and were immediately greeted by everyone's favorite office lady Mrs. Cooper. She was an adorable older lady who was funny and sweet. She looked at the two of you and said, "hi Ms.Y/Lastname. I see Santa visited you early." Wrapping an arm around Adam's you smile a little replying, "yeah I guess you could say that." The two of you let out a little laugh as she wishes you a good night. Making your rounds you introduce Adam to a couple of coworkers you work with on the daily who were completely star struck by him asking questions about the acting jobs he's done. Adam has never been one to seek attention but he loves talking about acting and storytelling. You loved seeing him there with you mixing and talking being so friendly. It hit you in that moment that no one had ever really just been there for you like that other than Madi. After a few moments of talking you hear someone call your name "Y/N". Turning around you see Jaxon coming up and embracing you with a big hug. Adam watched the interaction and a surge of annoyance shot through him as he thought. _Who is this guy? Why is he just coming up and hugging her?_ You smile and hug him back saying "Hi Jaxon, this is Adam." He turns to him holding a hand out Adam looks at him and reciprocates shaking his hand. Jaxon said, "Hi Jaxon Miller, nice to meet you." Then turns and quickly starts talking again to you. "The school board said that the program was so good they want us to do another one in the spring for competition." You looked amazed by the exciting news, "Jaxon that's great. The kids will love it." He rests one hand on your arm giving it a slight squeeze, "will you help me with it." He could see you contemplating the question. Adam was getting more annoyed with the way he was touching you. He gives a slight squeeze one more time and says, "just think about it. I gotta go Mrs. Cooper is waving me down." Jaxon left and you looked at Adam who had a strange look on his face you thought to yourself. _Is he jealous?_ You give him a reassuring smile taking his hand leading him out of the gym. He looked a little confused and asked, "where are we going?" Still hand in hand you give him a mischievous smirk saying, "I wanted to show you my office."

It took a couple of minutes to get to your office on the other side of the building. The two of you walked down the long halls together. You pointed out different things you did or liked to do with your students. Finally making it to your office you found your key to unlock the door opening it and turning the light on. Both of you walk into the decent sized office. You had your desk with shelves behind it lining the wall filled with books and resources. As well as a semi circle table near a wall with a whiteboard where you teach a small group. Adam walked around looking and touching everything noticing your same aesthetic as your apartment simple and organized with your favorite colors. He stopped at your desk and noticed the three picture frames sitting on your desk. The first one was of Madi, Peter, and you out somewhere smiling arms around each other. Another one was of you when you were younger with two small children one standing next to you and the other sitting on your lap. The last picture was much older than the others with an older couple holding a small small child. Adam points asking about the pictures, "who are these pictures of?" Walking over to look at the pictures you explain, "This one is from about 6 or 7 years ago of my siblings and I. Then this one is one of my favorite pictures. It's my grandparents holding me when I was 2 or 3. I can't remember what we were doing, maybe my birthday or something." He looks at you trying to read your expression saying, "you don't remember if it was your birthday?" Very matter of fact you say, "birthdays weren't a big deal when I was a kid. My grandmother tried to make it special when I was with them but other than that nothing." The look he gave you wasn't of pity or concern but more of an understanding. You didn't know much about Adam's family other than he had a sister and niece and that his relationship with his parents wasn't good. Trying to keep the conversation light you ask, "What were you like in school?" He smiles and laughs a little at the question thinking for a moment then answering, "I wasn't the best, but I got through it." You match his expression, "I bet you were a little shit." Adam tried to act like he was offended but both of you knew you were right. Playfully he says, "I might have been trouble but", You cut him off saying, "it's not might have been. You are trouble." The two of you share a glance of mischievousness as he leans against your desk. Not breaking eye contact you take a couple steps back till you reach the door making sure it was closed and locked.

You flirtatiously stepped closer to him not breaking eye contact. With a smirk he says, "oh so you think im trouble." Stepping closer his hands meet our waist holding you right in front of him. Still looking into his hazel eyes you say, "maybe." It was like the two of you were moving in slow motion. His hands started to pull you in closer your hands cupping the side of his face. Lips come together so easily moving together gently but becoming stronger as the moment goes by. Both of you were moving together like you were starving taking a chance nibbling a little on his bottom lip causing him to let out a low hum. Adam's hands move from your waist to your back and down grabbing your ass. Leaning into him more you wrap your arms around him. He starts moving from your lips kissing your cheek, chin, and neck. You let out a small breath with every single time he makes contact knowing they will most likely leave a mark. In that moment your ego was bursting by the amount of attention and support Adam had given you by showing up that you wanted to do the same for him. Your arms leave his neck and your hands slip down undoing his belt. After a second he stopped kissing moving back slightly looking at you with eyes of confusing excitement. You step back pulling on his waistband causing him to stand up. Unzipping his jeans looking him dead in the eyes you say, "pull it out Sackler"

He did exactly as you said with a, "yes Ms.Y/Lastname" which sent a pulse of warmth throughout your whole body building your wetness. Locking eyes with his length no matter how many times you had fucked him he still surprised you revealing a smile. Taking it in your hand gently stroking up and down you hear Adam let out a deep breath at your contact. Eyes meeting both filled with lust for a moment the two of you just look at each other taking in the moment. Breaking away you get down on your knees facing his hardening length. Keeping your hand at the bottom you look up at him watching you. Leaning over you take your tongue and lick from the bottom to the tip. Adam couldn't believe what was happening he thought to himself. _Fuck this is so hot. She always surprises me._ He gripped the edge of your desk letting out a, "shit". You took this as your cue to go ahead licking your lips you lower them over his tip swirling your tongue around him. He lets out another low, "shit" gripping your desk a little tighter. Starting to bob your head taking more of him you start to stroke as well to give him anything you could. After a moment you felt his large hand gently grab the back of your head helping guide you. Taking a deep breath through your nose you start to move quicker trying to swirl your tongue the best you can. Adam still watching you not missing a thing remembering the look on your face saying, "that's it Ms.Y/Lastname. Fuck that's it." This caused you to speed up a little more using your hand to help as the other started to pull up your skirt. Your pleasure was building and you needed to be touched. Slipping your hand down you could feel your wetness almost dripping as you applied a little pressure to your neglected bub. Letting out a muffled moan sent vibrations around Adam causing him to twitch in your mouth. A moment went by both of you were getting close Adam lets out, "Fuck. I want you on your desk." Slowing down and catching your breath you stand up and step over to your desk. Instinctively knowing Adam you bend over laying on your desk. He takes you in for a second then hooks his index fingers around the hem of your panties and brings them down. You help gather your skirt up saying, "give it to me Sackler". His hands ran up the sides of your legs over your ass gripping your hips. "Oh I will Ms.Y/Lastname" as he entered you both cursing into the empty air. He starts pumping into you at a steady pace but quickly speeding up as he feels you pulsing around him. One of his hands grab onto your shoulder causing you to lean up a little. Next thing you knew Adam was pulling you closer as he leaned over placing his head in the crook of your next placing a kiss or two. His chest pressing into your back was just the contact the two of you needed. After a minute both of you were being overwhelmed with pleasure and unspoken feelings.

Both of you bend over laying on the desk for a moment to gather yourselves. Adam pulls out and pulls up your panties, stepping back to adjust himself you do the same with your skirt. After fixing yourself you hop on top of your desk letting your feet dangle. Adam steps in front of you placing a hand on your desk on both sides of you. He looks you up and down settling on your eyes saying , "that was fucking hot." You let out a small laugh smiling, "yeah it was." Both of you were feeling those warm emotions of feeling complete, but neither of you could find the words. You were scared of losing something this good like you always do. Adam was scared of screwing something so perfect up because he has never been able to find something so perfect. He leans his head towards you meeting him halfway pressing foreheads together. Saying in a soft voice, "you know you don't have to spend Christmas with me. You have your sister and them. I don't want you to miss out." He stayed looking at you saying, "We don't always get together for holidays. Plus I want to spend it with you." You look away in disbelief that he'd want to come with you with everything your family has going on. Placing two fingers under your chin he tilted your face to look back at him. Adam with a caring voice saying, "I'm here for you always." These words meant the world to you giving you that feeling of security. Not breaking eye contact you say in a caring but firm voice, "and I'm here for you always." Adam memorized the way, the sound, the pace, and even rhythm of what you said etching it to memory. Lips crash together passionately your hands cup his face as his wrap around you. After a moment you separate with a smile saying, "we better get back to the party." Adam matches your smile standing up and taking your hand, "lets go."


	13. Chapter 13

You were very busy leading up to Christmas, but you liked it that way. It was the best way to keep your mind off stressing about visiting your family. Part of you wasn't even worried a bit because Adam was coming with you. However the bigger part of you was worried because Adam was coming with you. You know how your mom is and don't want anything to happen that might freak him out. Trying to not focus on the stress you go Christmas shopping. Shopping for others is one of your favorite things to do even if you're not rich enough to get everyone everything you want to get them. You try to make your gifts personal and meaningful the best you can. First was Madi you got her some of her favorite bath salts and a new journal with her name on it. Then you got Peter that new book about theater production techniques he was telling you about last week. After that you grabbed a few gift cards to your siblings favorite places. You also got your brother Aidan a couple of Star Wars Comics he told you about the last time you visited. Evie your sister was a little difficult to shop for because she's getting to the age of just wanting money. However, you were able to pick up a jar of her favorite facial scrub. Also because you're a teacher you picked out a book for both of them. Then there was your mom. Honestly you had no idea what to get her but you decided on a couple gift cards and a nice big travel mug with a lid and a pretty design. Picking up some Christmas cards and wrapping paper you found a really nice wooden shadow box. After looking at it for a minute an idea came to mind. _I could get this for Adam as a keepsake box of all his acting jobs. It can hold tickets, playbills, or even a page from his script. I wonder if he would like it?_ Something told you to get it so you did hoping your idea would be a good gift. Once you got back to your apartment you threw everything on your bed so it can be wrapped. Grabbing a Christmas card to fill out for Mrs. Jones letting her know how much you appreciated her kindness and friendship as well as thanking her for letting you use the dress again. Closing the card in the envelope then placing it on top of a container of peppermint bark and a bag of treats for Rocky you picked up the day before as her gift. Then you went back and wrapped all the other gifts you got that day.

After getting gifts taken care of you were able to focus on getting flights home. There was a holiday special for two for a 3 day round trip you snatched up real quick. That would be perfect. The flight in was the morning of the 23rd letting you spend Christmas Eve and Christmas Day together then the flight home was the following morning. Not too short but not too long of a stay. You even decided to book a hotel nearby because there was no way there would be room for everyone to sleep. Already when you visited you bunked with your sister which you didn't mind, but you weren't going to do that to Adam. Plus you didn't want to hear your mom talking about having some random guy staying at the house. After getting everything settled it was time to pack.

The day before the two of you left Adam had to go into the city to meet with Anne and pick something up. As he walked into the office lobby the secretary greeted him, "Hello, Mr. Sackler. I'll let Anne know you're here." Adam gave an awkward smiley nod not used to being called Mr. Sackler. A minute goes by when Anne comes out saying, "Adam come in come in. I've got great news." He followed behind her with nervous excitement into her office. Sitting down in a chair facing her desk he watches Anne till she is seated across from him. She says, "I have three scripts here for you given by the producers that we met with at the Christmas party. One is for a pilot episode of a new tv series. Another one is for a new Broadway play. Then the last one is for a movie that would begin filming late into the summer." Adam was absolutely shocked that he would have these many options. He was speechless and just looked at the scripts sitting on the desk in front of him. He finally finds something to say, "how would I? When would I? What do I do?". Anne gives him a reassuring smile, "you have time to decide. You can choose to do all three, two, or even just one. But I want you to take the scripts and read them over during the holidays to see what story speaks to you." Adam was so excited he eagerly agreed to what she asked, jumping up quickly grabbing the big envelope to hold the scripts. Anne sticks them in adding, "so what will you be doing for the holidays?" He answered with a sheepish smile, "I'm visiting Y/N's family with her". Anne noticed his giddiness and said, "that sounds nice please tell Y/N I wish her a Merry Christmas." Adam big envelope in hand starts for the door agreeing to her request. Almost making it completely out of the office then hearing his name being called. He turned around seeing the front desk secretary running over to him. "Mr. Sackler, Anne said she forgot to give you this before you left.", handing him a thin folder. Adam accepts, "yeah thanks". He turned back around making his way out of the building to catch the subway back home. Once he got on he sat there holding the envelope in one hand and the folder in the other. He thought to himself, what could she have forgotten to give me? Opening the folder he finds a note written by Anne.  
" _When I got back into the office Monday after the Christmas party the photographer had emailed me the pictures from that night. I got this one printed thinking that you and Y/N would like it. She's special like you kid. Merry Christmas! - AW_ "  
Adam flips the picture over to find the two of you dancing together. Adam's hands were wrapped around your waist. Your hands were gently resting on the back of his neck fingers twirling a piece of hair the way he likes. The two of you were just starting at each other sharing a look that both of you were scared to admit. He stared at the picture the whole ride. When he went to put it back in the folder he found Anne had two printed. Instantly he thought, _I could give this to Y/N for Christmas._

Adam and you make your way to the airport early in the morning. Both of you were quiet due to it being so early, but also anxious for the trip. After getting through bag check and security the two of you waited to board. You decided it was time to fill Adam in on your family dynamics before getting there. "So my family has some issues," you say after taking a deep breath. Adam looks at you intently but you can still see the sleep in his eyes. "My siblings are great, you'll like them a lot, and I feel like my grandfather would have really liked you if he wasn't," you stop talking for a moment realizing what you were saying. Looking away to gather your thoughts focusing on other people walking around the airport to keep yourself from tearing up. Instantaneously you felt Adam's large hand engulf yours bringing your nerves back down to earth. Continuing you say, "my grandparents were my real parental figures. My dad just kind of pops in and out whenever he feels like it so I don't have anything to do with him. Then there is my mom." Taking another breath you look at him, his eyes focused and listening to everything you're saying. He was so intrigued by your family's story because it wasn't exactly like his but the similarities were hard to ignore. "She is my mom and of course I love her, but she has issues. I don't even know how to explain it really, just very toxic most of the time. We had a fight before I left last time so she will do one of three things. She will either ignore me, continue the fight, or act like nothing happened." Letting that sit in the air you sit there contemplating everything just over thinking. "Hopefully things will be okay," you say as you stare off, starting to over think again. You feel Adam give your hand a squeeze adding, "It will be. I'm here". Breaking your thought process you give him a reassuring smile.

The flight wasn't too long but it was packed due to the holidays. You let Adam's large frame take the window seat so he wouldn't have to be squashed in the middle. When The two of you got seated Adam's chaotic energy came to life touching everything playing with the tray. You laugh and he looks up saying, "What?" Answering you say, "nothing it's just funny you're like a kindergartner touching everything." He squinted his eyes a little returning a goofy look saying, "I could be touching everything." As he slips one hand around you and the other on your thigh slowly moving up. Letting out a little yelp from the sudden touch quickly looking around to see if anyone had heard. Adam laughed at your reaction continuing to move his hands around you. Both of you immediately look up when you see the flight attendant stop and say here is your seat ma'am gesturing for her to take the aisle seat. The woman takes a seat settling in while you and Adam both return to normal trying not to bust out laughing. The flight was nice. You read for a little bit then decided to put your headphones in and lean over onto Adam's shoulder to take a little nap. He leaned over a little so you'd be more comfortable. Resting his head on yours he feels you calmly drift off. He stayed there reading over one of the scripts till his eyes got tired and joined you napping.

Landing was quick, the two of you picked up your bags then Adam surprised you with a rental car, so the two of you didn't have to waste money on ubers. You settle into the passenger seat connecting your phone right away for music and directions to the hotel. As Adam drives he takes in the scenery of your small hometown picking out the characteristics that he found in you. He looks over and sees how you have become quiet just watching out the window observing. Once you get checked into the hotel you call your sister letting her know you and Adam were here and that the two of you will be over in a little bit. The hotel was only a few minutes away from your childhood home you give Adam directions on how to get there. Pulling up in front of the house he puts it in park and looks over at you. He notices how your whole body language has changed as if you were going into defense mode. You meet his eyes saying, "what?", in a soft voice. All he says is, "I'm always here." You let some of your uneasiness melt away ready for what is to come. The two of you get out of the car starting to walk up to the house the door swings open and you hear "Y/N", being screamed. Evie and Aidan both are running up to hug you embracing them with open arms your heart is overwhelmed. You loved them both so much, so much as if they were your own children. After a minute the three of you let go and you introduce them to Adam. Asking before getting inside, "where's mom?" Both of them answer together "she's out". Pushing down the hurt of her not being here when you came for Christmas you ask, "she knew we were coming today right? How long has she been out?" Aidan shrugged his shoulders as he started to run up to the house. Evie wraps her arms around you again the two of you walking together saying, "she knew and for most of the day." You all walk in together and you see the Christmas decorations your siblings put together around the house. Already the emotions of your missing mother were fading.

Visiting with your siblings for a while was so heartwarming. They told you all about things going on with school and their friends. Evie was so excited about the health science program her high school offered. Explaining how she thinks she wants to be a nurse like the ones taking care of grandpa and you couldn't be more proud. Aidan was excited about the woodshop class he's taking as an elective. You told him how Adam loves woodworking. That was it Aidan was elated asking him questions then showing him some of the tools he had got himself to do things around the house. After the excitement wore off you asked them to be honest with you, "so how is grandpa doing?". Evie and Aidan's faces both change which tore you up inside. They explain how he hasn't technically gotten worse but has definitely not gotten better. The only change is he has been having some fits when he gets really tired and confused so he just bursts with frustration. Taking in the news you don't say anything for a moment. Breaking the silence you ask them what they want to do for Christmas Eve. They both perk up and demand the old traditions you did with them growing up like make cookies, cook grandma's cranberry meatballs, and watch a Christmas movie. You tell them that you're pretty sure you all can do that and they were bursting with excitement. Checking the kitchen there was nothing to cook so you decided to order pizza. The night was so nice but it was getting late. You didn't want to leave them if your mom wasn't there so you waited a little longer. Finally your mom decides to shuffle in and at first she doesn't say anything just walking in and putting her stuff away. Your siblings go quiet as routine not to set anything off. Taking a deep breath you say kindly, "Hi mom." Adam is watching everything playout trying to understand the dynamics. She makes her way into the living room very plainly saying, "Hello." Staying calm and kind, "this is my friend Adam". Her eyes shift back and forth a couple times from you to him. Cracking a smile she says, "Hi Adam, I'm Lisa. Y/N never brings anyone around what makes you so special." He smiles out of respect saying, "it's nice to meet you and I'm not sure." She eyes him for a minute. You decide it's time to go so you say your goodbyes and goodnights so even to your mom. Then reminding them you'd be back tomorrow after visiting grandpa in the morning.

Waking up Christmas eve morning you roll over facing Adam who is still asleep. Just laying there for a moment you look at him counting the beauty marks that scatter his face so perfectly. After a minute you start to roll the other way to get up you feel a long strong arm wrap around you pulling you close. "Where are you going?", he says in a low morning voice. You curl up into the embrace saying, "Gotta get ready its a big day." He loosens his grip and lets out a sigh. The two of you got up and got ready grabbing breakfast in the lobby before leaving. You gave Adam directions to your grandparents house and when the car pulled up you say, "my grandfather is a really great person and I wish you could have met him before this.". Adam just listens to you not sure what to say but knows the importance of his presence. He follows your lead as you get out of the car and go into the house. On the way in he noted the orange lilies you had talked about. Walking into the house you are greeted by the nurse who gives you a run down of how he has been doing. This morning he had been doing actually pretty well. He woke up in good spirits able to sit up and watch the news and talk to the nurses for a little bit. Walking into the room you see he is still sitting up and he catches you in his sights. It takes him a moment squirting his eyes and looking you over you say, "Hi grandpa its Y/N." Instantly he smiles and lifts his hand up trying to reach for you. Grabbing his hand you wish him a merry Christmas and sit next to him. You try to introduce Adam. "Grandpa this is my friend Adam.", he lifts his eyes up to Adam who was standing next to you. Adam looks at you seeking what to say reassuring him you say, "You can call him John." Clearing his throat Adam bends down next to you saying, "Nice to meet you John." His eyes opened and he reached his hand out again but this time letting a whispered "Hi" out. Adam took his hand for a moment then releasing it to return to yours. The interaction almost made your emotions burst but you settled for a huge grin. Your visit with your grandfather that morning was nice. You pick up around the house, talk to him a little about Christmas, and help him eat a snack. Adam helped you when you needed it but mostly just looked around at pictures and things around the house. After a little bit you notice him getting tired and dozing off you figured it was time to go. Before going back home you stop at the store to pick things up to bake cookies and cook dinner knowing there was nothing at home.

You let Evie know the two of you were almost home. When you got there Aidan and Evie came running out to help bring groceries in. Putting the groceries away you find out that your mom left that morning for whatever secretary job she was working at for the moment, but promised your siblings she only had to work a half day. Everyone gets focused on their own things. Evie and you started on making cookies. Adam sat at the kitchen table with Aidan showing him simple little wood whittling techniques. The afternoon was filled with jokes, laughter, and Christmas songs. Once all the cookies were made and decorated it was time to cook dinner. You made your grandmother's famous cranberry meatballs with cubed potatoes and steamed veggies. Everything was almost done when you heard your mom come in. She makes her way throughout the house you can hear she's in a good mood but that can always change. You announce that dinner is ready and everyone comes to make a plate and sit at the table for dinner. While everyone is eating you mom asks, "So Adam what do you do?" His eyes shift from you to your mom saying, "I am an actor." Quick to reply, "is acting good work?". He smirks saying, "its hard to get jobs sometimes but im doing good." Evie pipes up asking, "have you met any famous people?" You and Adam both let out a little laugh. He answers, "Not anyone really famous, just actors around our area." The conversation dies down a little, mostly listening to your siblings talk. Towards the end of dinner Evie and Aidan were cleaning up the table you go to put the leftovers away when you hear your mom ask Adam, "so what's a handsome young actor doing here for Christmas instead of spending it with your own family?" Adam was a little thrown by the question but answered, " My family uh doesn't always get together for holidays, But ill see my sister when we go back." She nods at his answer asking another, "Do you have a girlfriend? I'm sure the girls throw themselves at you all the time." He laughed a little answering with a simple "no" then went silent. Your mom starts to ask something else but knowing Adam you knew this was too prying for him hell it was irritating you. "Mom can you come help me please." She lets out a huge sigh and joins you in the kitchen with a "What I can ask questions, it's my damn house." You're quiet for a moment and just gesture for her to grab some containers for the food. Looking at her hoping to let it blow over you tell her, "they want to watch a Christmas movie how about you pick one we can all watch." She takes it as a win and goes to find a movie. Once everything was cleaned up and put away everyone settled into the living room to watch Home Alone 2 Lost in New York. Your siblings kept asking if New York still looked like that or if people acted like that. Adam and you laughed a little and answered the questions the best you could. You looked over and noticed the irritated look on your mom's face. She hated anything that had to do with you leaving home. You chose to ignore and focus on the movie. At some point Aidan slipped into the kitchen getting the Christmas cookies then snuggled up on the couch next to you which you loved. After the movie it was late and you joked with your siblings that if they didn't get to bed that Santa wouldn't come they both laughed because they were old enough to know better. Adam and you said your goodbyes telling them you would be back in the morning for presents.

It was Christmas day and you had already snoozed your alarm twice. It was going off again when you heard Adam moving around and saying, "Y/N turn that shit off or get up." You reach over and turn it off on your phone noticing a text from Madi.  
"Merry Christmas! I love you. Hope all is going well. Tell Adam Peter and I say Merry Christmas!"  
You reply, "Love you too. It hasn't been bad. We both wish you two a Merry Christmas." The two of you get up and get ready for the day. When you get in the car you look over at Adam and ask, "hey before we go to the house can we go see my grandpa for a few minutes." He looked at you saying, "Yeah of course." You take a breath as all the Christmas memories you had with your grandfather run through your mind. As soon as you get there the nurses inform you that your grandfather had been having a rough morning. You walk in and notice he was not coherent at all. He was struggling in his chair trying to talk but nothing was making any sense. You sat by him trying to talk to him but he would barely look at you. Adam just hung back watching not sure how to help but knew you needed your time with him. After a little while you tried to get his attention again and for a moment it looked like he knew who you were. "Grandpa its Y/N. Merry Christmas." he just looked at you. You repeated and he grabbed your wrist. At first you smiled till you realized he was going into a fit. His grasp tightened and he began thrashing and yelling incoherently. Adam moved quickly over to you to help. "Get the nurses" is all you said and he did. The nurses came rushing in trying different techniques to calm him down and none were working. Something you remembered reading was sometimes dementia patience's memories can be triggered or snapped back in by a certain word, sound, or memory. The first thing you thought of was a song your grandmother would sing when you were upset Hymn by Janis Ian. You started to sing.  
" _When we grow old_  
 _And love grows cold_  
 _And time runs down_  
 _Like a river_  
 _That calls us home"_  
The grasp around your wrist loosens and it's like life comes back into his eyes. The nurses encourage you to keep singing.  
" _The eyes grow dim_  
 _The light grown thin_  
 _And time will_  
 _End here forever_  
 _Long time gone."_  
His whole body starts to calm as he hears your voice. One of the nurses gives him some medication which will help keep him calm but makes him sleepy. You ask the nurses, "is there anything that can be done to prevent more fits like this?" They explain what they were doing and how there were a couple of other medications that would help a little but your mom doesn't want him on anymore medications. You thank them for everything and wish them a merry Christmas and walk out to the car with Adam. Once in the car he is observing you watching you bury your emotions trying not to let them show. Staring out the window trying not to focus on what happened. Adam reached over and placed his hand on top of yours. Not ready to face him trying to work through your emotions you place your hand on top of his to reassure him you'd be okay.

Evie and Aidan were so excited for Christmas. They waited till you had gotten there to open presents. Adam helped you bring in the gifts you had gotten them and your mom. Everyone got comfortable in the living room. There was gift bags and wrapping paper everywhere. Your mom actually seemed to like the gifts you got her as well as being pretty great most of the time. Evie was excited about the facial scrub and Adian couldn't stop showing everyone the little details in the star wars comics. Aidan and Evie gave Adam a Christmas card thanking him for coming for Christmas and telling him how cool he was. He leaned over to you saying with a big smirk, "look im cool" pointing at the card. You laughed and said, "thanks guys now that's all he's going to talk about". A minute goes by and Aidan brings you a gift bag. You smile saying, "you guys didn't have to get me anything. "knowing they didn't have much to give. Evie says, "shut up just open it." You listen and pull the tissue paper out of the bag. Looking in you find a big pack of colorful grading pens, a gift card, and a picture of the three of you from the last time you visited. "I love you guys so much thank you." you say after seeing their thoughtful gift. The rest of the day goes by pretty well until your mom overhears Evie asking to come visit you sometime in the summer. This was the match that lit the fire for your mom. "You are not going to take her away from me. You might think it's okay to leave whenever you feel like it but you're not taking her with you." Honestly you weren't shocked but it did feel like a stab to the heart that she thinks you'd take Evie from her. "Mom no one is taking anyone away. She was just asking to visit. "you say calmly not wanting things to escalate. "I don't care what she wants. She is staying here with me unlike you who just pops in and out whenever you feel like it." Trying to not get worked up and move on from this continuous battle she keeps dragging on. "Mom why don't all of you come visit in the summer. It would be nice." she didn't like this idea. "Excuse me, I have my father to take care of. I can't just take trips. Not like you've tried to help with anything." When Adam heard this it caused him to look over frustration was overcoming him because he knew for a fact that was not true. He stood up and walked a little closer to you observing from a little distance. You processed her words for a moment then said, "Mom if you need more help then you have to tell me what's going on not keep me in the dark out of spite." she was quick with a response like always, "you don't get to come in here and act like you want to be a part of this family whenever you want. You left and made yourself a whole new life. Why would I bother you when you chose not to be a part of us." Her words stung you because that what you feared would happen when you moved. "I didn't choose to not be a part of the family, I just started my own life." At this point Adam has moved a little bit closer you can see him out of the corner of your eye. "Don't give me that bullshit. You have always wanted to get away from me because i'm some horrible mother." you were so tired of the same fight over and over again that you were lost for words just hurt. Adam speaks up, causing you to look over at him, "Y/N is one of the most selfless people I have ever met. She is constantly doing whatever she can for her family and checking in regularly. People are allowed to have their own life." Your mom was shocked he would speak up in the middle of you two arguing and to be honest so were you. The two of you lock eyes as he continues, "So instead of giving her bullshit about things that wont change you see what she is trying to do and go from there." A single tear falls from your eyes you were about to explode completely overwhelmed. "Wow Y/N you have a great fan club." she says as she storms off. Adam closes the distance between the two of you putting his hand on the low of your back. Embarrassment washes over you so your defense system goes up. Acting like it wasn't a big deal you say, "its fine. Im fine.". You start to clean up the Christmas present mess and spend a couple more minutes with your siblings eating leftovers and cookies. After a while you decided you had to get out of that house. Reminding Aidan and Evie, "I love you two so much. I will let you know when I get back home tomorrow." as you hug them both a little too tightly.

The ride back to the hotel was quiet. All you could do was replay the day's event in your mind over and over again. You spaced looking out the window not even playing music. Adam knew you were hurt by the things your mom said no matter how hard you tried to hide it. He thought to himself as he drove, _She didn't deserve that. Who the fuck treats their kid like that._ The two of you get into the hotel room. Adam starts taking his jacket and shoes off when you head straight over to your bag grabbing some underwear and pjs. "I'm going to go take a shower" you head right in without missing a beat. Closing the door but forgetting to lock it you just stand there for a moment looking in the mirror as all the emotions from the day start to hit you. You turn the shower on hoping Adam doesn't hear you. That's the last thing you want is to bother him with your problems especially on Christmas. You take your time taking your clothes off just completely worn down. Finally you step in the showers just standing there letting the water hit your back you let out a sob. Adam had walked over and flopped onto the bed thinking to himself, _fuck it i can't leave her alone I have to check on her._ He walks over to the door listening all he can hear is the showers going until you take a deep breath from sobbing. Adam couldn't take it. It was like that day in your apartment he had to take care of you or at least be there for you. Opening the door he says, "Y/N?" caught off guard you answer quick, "Adam I'm fine". His response was even quicker, "don't fucking lie to me". You thought for a minute he was right after that day in your apartment you knew you couldn't lie to him. No matter how hard of a fight you put up there was no way you could hide anything from him. He took your silence as your answer and started to take his clothes off. Next you knew the shower curtain was pulled open and he was stepping in. "Adam what are you doing?", you say nervously. He doesn't say anything as he steps in and closes the curtain behind him. The water hits his back and he puts his head back letting his dark locks get soaked. You just watch how beautiful he is moving in the water. For a few seconds you were distracted from your thoughts. Then he looks at you with that look like he is seeing right through you. Your eyes well up and you couldn't stop it a sob breaks free. His large arms wrap around you pulling you in close to him letting you feel that sense of security again.

Both of you just stand there together him holding you while the water splashes around you. Staying like this for a few minutes really actually made you feel better. You can feel your sobs stopping and the overwhelmed emotions from the day were fading. Looking up at him you say softly, "thank you". Adam is now the one being flushed with feeling as he hears you reassure him that his actions helped you. He moves a hand to the side of your face and gently presses his lips against yours. Returning the affection you start to move a slight quicker in turn makes him do the same. In that moment it was like a slideshow in your mind all of the moments the two of you shared together the past few days like joking on the flight, staying in a hotel together, him meeting your family, the way he embraced your siblings, how much your siblings liked him, how he helped with your grandfather, or even sticking up for you with your mom. You cared for this man, he was so important to you, you knew him like you know yourself, but did you love him. That was something you were scared to admit even to yourself. Lips rhythmically moving tongues start to twist together. You had to have him now. Adam was working himself up in his head as well with a similar thought process. He needed you now.

Adam takes a few steps pressing your back against the cool shower tiles sending a shiver down your spine as well as heat to your core. Taking a breath you separate locking eyes with him both of yours are filled with lust and something else. His hands start to roam your body, stopping to squeeze and massage your breasts. Letting a soft moan escape Adam continues just a slights rougher causing a pulse through your core. You reach out and find his length grasping it gently with one hand it starts to harden more with your touch. Starting to stroke slowly up and down he lets out a sharp breath. "You like it when I touch you don't you?", you ask in a low and slow voice looking up at him. "Yes I fucking do. Keep touching me" he replies in a growl meeting your eyes. "Like this?", in the same tone as you start to pump your hand a little quicker twisting your wrist a little as you go. "Fuck" he responds in a growl again moving one hand down your stomach slipping a finger inbetween your folds moving them back and forth steadily. "Shit your so wet." His admiring caused a pulse of pleasure shoot through your body letting a moan ring out. Adam leaned over and started to kiss and nip at your neck and chest as he slipped two fingers inside of you. He starts to move them in and out steadily with a slight curl hitting the right spots. Not letting go of his length you try to pump faster causing him to release a moan. Both of your pleasures are building. Adam removes his hand telling you, " wrap around me." You let go of his length and wrap your arms around his neck. He hoists you up tapping your thigh for you to wrap your legs around him. Once you do your back hits the cool tile again. Adam hands grip your waist as he leads you onto his length. Simultaneously you both release a moan that fills the bathroom. Adam starts to thrust building your pleasure even more. He keeps a steady pace but he knows it won't be too long. Leaning over a little he licks up your bare chest and neck stopping to kiss your ear. You wrap your finger in his wet hair pulling just slightly to bring his eyes to your level. Lips crash moving together so effortlessly. Adams thrusts become quicker causing you to get even closer. He can feel you tightening around him pressing his forehead against yours, he says. "Cum for me Y/N" that sent you over pleasure raked your body. "Fuck Adam yes." Was all you could say as you pulsed and spasmed around him. Adam started to pound into you knowing it would only like a couple then he was right there with you. "Uhhhhhh fuck Y/N" he grunted as he finished. He held you for a few minutes as the two you came down from your high.

Pulling out and putting you down the two of you get cleaned up. Taking turns soaping the other up and rinsing off. Adam washes your hair and lets you get out to dry off as he does his. As he finishes you wash your face, brush your teeth, and dry off. Adam steps out neither of you can stop glancing at the other you slip your pjs on. He brushes his teeth and slips some briefs on. He comes out to find a wrapped gift on his side of the bed. Looking at you as you start to get comfy on your side he say, "what the fuck is this?" You smirk saying, "it's a gift for you" he walks over and looks at it. "Open it", you say laying there watching him. He does ripping the paper to reveal a gorgeous wooden box with a glass cover. Before you wrapped it you found the playbill of the play you saw him in the night you met as well as a paper from the script of the tv show he just did you stole from the trash in his apartment. "It's a shadow box. I thought you could use it as a keepsake box of your acting jobs. Plus you like wood. It's kind of silly I guess.", you say as he is just staring at it. "It's perfect", he said honestly he had never had such a thoughtful gift before. He put it down quickly and went over to his bag and pulled out his gift for you. Quickly he hands it to you. You sit up saying, "Adam you didn't have to." With a smirk he said, "shut up and open it". Both of you laughing you grab the gift bag and start to open it. Adam had asked Evie for a bag and tissue paper on Christmas Eve and wrapped it this morning while you were getting ready. Removing all the tissue paper you stick your hand in grabbing something hard. Pulling it out you turn it over to find the most incredible picture you had ever seen. "Where did you get this?" You asked him enthusiastically. "Anne printed it for me. I thought you'd like it." He says almost shyly. You can't take your eyes off of it, "Adam, I love it!" You set it on the nightstand next to the bed as he gathers the gift trash and tosses across the room. He flops into bed stretching his huge frame across. You wrap your arms around him the best you can looking into his eyes.

"Merry Christmas Adam"

"Merry Christmas Y/N"


	14. Chapter 14

It had been a couple days since you came home. Your spirits were much better than the last time you came home from visiting your family. Maybe it was because you actually had a semi good time, but you mostly chalked it up to having Adam there with you. Still you battled with the guilt of leaving your siblings and grandfather. Adam gave you your space but stayed nearby for support. It was almost New Year's Eve and Madi was sitting on the couch planning the get together she usually throws. It's mostly only a few of her and Peter's friends and family that come over for games, food, and drinks to countdown to midnight. You ask, "do you have everything for the party? What am I assigned to do?" She looked up at you excitedly, "do you think you could help me with desserts? You know I'm horrible in the kitchen!" Letting out a laugh you said, "oh I know. Yes I can help." In the same breath your apartment door opened as Peter came in. Something about him seemed off but you couldn't put your finger on it. It was like he was a nervous puppy that didn't want to get caught for tearing something up. He came in and flopped on the other end of the couch next to Madi after giving her a quick peck on the head and saying, "hey ladies". She smiles but doesn't notice anything still focused on her party planning. Madi's phone goes off and she checks the time. "Shit I gotta go. I have to go pick up some audition material and head into work." She jumps up to gather her stuff and go. As she leaves everyone yells "bye". Instantly you move over to the couch looking at Peter, "what the fuck is up? Why are you being so weird?"

Peter couldn't hide anything from you. He knew how observant you were so he just blurted it out. "I want to propose to Madi!" His words shocked you in a good way. You loved Peter like a brother. His relationship with Madi has always been so natural and complimentative. They both really brought the best out in each other. After shaking the shock off you say, "holy shit when?" His nervousness fades a little, "New Year's Eve at midnight. I thought it would be perfect because our friends and her family will be here." A huge smile broke across your face hearing how thoughtful he was. "I think that is a perfect time", you reassure him. "Really You think so?" He looked at you excited. "Yes. So do you have a ring?" You question him. He was quick to answer, "No not yet, but Adam and I were going to look in a little bit. That's why I came over to ask you what she might like?" Surprised you ask, "wait Adam is going ring shopping with you?" He looked at you like you had just asked the most irrelevant question, "yeah for moral support. What style do you think she likes best?" The thought of Adam going through a jewelry store amused you. Adam's chaotic energy gave off bull in a china shop vibes, so you decided the best way to help Peter was tagging along.

Peter and you leave your apartment and make it towards the "rally point" as Peter put it. The corner where he was meeting Adam. As the two of you walked down the street you automatically found Adam and his tall strong stature. He was wearing a dark sweater and a jacket with jeans and boots taking in how handsome he was the closer you got. Adam was pacing as he talked on the phone. You weren't able to make out what he was saying but by the way his shoulders were tense and the pace of his movements it seemed the conversation was not a good one.

Adam was making his way to meet Peter when his phone rang. He looked down and his chest started to fill with anxiety. It was the facility number where Jessa was at. His thoughts were at war whether to answer or not. At the last minute he answered. "Hello," he said sternly, hoping to get the conversation over with. He hadn't heard anything from Jessa since the last time he visited her a month ago. "Adam I'm so glad you answered. Can you talk?" He got to the corner and noticed Peter wasn't there yet so he said, "yeah for a minute what's up?" Jessa quickly talks, "So I'm almost done with the program here and I was hoping when I leave We can get together to talk. I didn't contact you or anything since the last time you visited hoping to give you time to think." Everything she said was hitting Adam so fast that he couldn't process what she was saying. He replied, "I don't know what you want me to fucking think about Jessa. You left remember without saying shit to anyone. Now I'm moving on trying to focus on my career." She focused on three words only _I'm moving on_. The phone was quiet for a moment as she fought with those words. Jessa had her mind made up and she wanted to get Adam back. "Adam I'm sorry. I love you. I still love you." She said in a timid voice. Now the thing with Jessa was does she actually love him or does she just love the idea of him. Adam's heart started pounding in his chest. He didn't know how to respond to that. Of course he cared about Jessa, he risked a lot to be with her to begin with. He believed at one time he did love her, but does he still love her? Honestly he couldn't answer that. Adam was always ready to dive in head first into something not coming back up for air till he was drowning. However, he has grown so much since Jessa left maybe even before. Adam started focusing on his career making meaningful decisions and surrounding himself with good supportive people. People like you suddenly you were right there walking closer to him, his eyes locked on you and he anxiously tightened his hold on his cellphone. He heard Jessa calling his name, "Adam talk to me." Taking a deep breath he answered her, "Jessa I can't right now. I just uhg. I don't know. I gotta go" hanging up the phone and shoving it into his pocket.

Peter and you step up next to Adam as he sticks his hands in his pockets. You shoot him a smile and Adam starts to feel the stress he just endured melt away. Peter patted Adam on the shoulder, "hey man thanks for coming." Adam grinned saying, "yeah no problem. Why'd you bring her along?", giving you a playful look. Narrowing your eyes and shaking your head, "I came to make sure Peter got the right ring." He tried to look shocked and failed, "that was my job". All three of you laughed and started walking towards the jewel shop Peter leading the way. Adam and you walked next to each other you leaned over trying to whisper, "how long have you known about this?" Adam was amused by your question matching your semi whisper, "a couple days." Your eyes went wide still trying to whisper, "why didn't you tell me." Adam laughing at the fact that he knew before you, "Peter told me not to." Giving him a playful hit on the arm, "this is stuff you tell me." Adam wrapped his arm around you from the side giving you a squeeze saying, "don't be mad. I was just being a good friend." You laughed, "yeah yeah whatever" swatting at his arm making him only squeeze you a little tighter.

The three of you walked into the jewelry store as a salesman welcomed you asking. "What can I help you with today?" Peter froze for a moment as if the reality of what he was doing was just hitting him. Adam and you share a look of amusement at his reaction letting a little laugh out. You walk up to the counter saying, "hi my friend here is going to propose to my best friend and he needs to get an engagement ring." The salesman said, "oh how lovely, yes right over here we have two full cases of engagement rings. I'll let you look for a few minutes." Giving him a nod and a "thank you" Peter stepped up to look. Once he started to look you could see the worries wash away. Peter was on a mission to find the perfect ring. You pointed out Madi's style was based on classics with a modern twist even suggesting she might even like a pear or oval shaped stone. After a while Peter had narrowed his decision down to two rings, one a little more whimsical than the other and one a little more classic with a unique band. He looked at you like he wanted you to choose. You looked him in the eyes, "Peter whichever one you choose she will love. I can't make this decision for you. She is going to look at it and think that you picked this out special for her." You stepped away and started looking at another case of rings while Peter made his decision. The whole time Adam watched how you helped Peter just in awe at how helpful you were listening to him and telling him what you knew Madi liked. He had pointed out a couple rings, but he really didn't have a clue of what he was doing. Stepping next to you watching you look at the jewelry he says, "which ones do you like." Caught off guard by the question, your cheeks heat up a little embarrassed you were caught looking. "Uhm the vintage style." You say softly. His eyes are not leaving you, "why?" This caused you to look up noticing how close he was leaning on the case next to you. "I guess it's because they are simple but can be really unique still. I just think they're really pretty." You say still in a soft voice trying to read his expression. Suddenly another salesman comes up to the counter smiling big at you and Adam. "Hello, can I say the two of you are very cute together. Ma'am, would you like to try something on?" he says in a very happy sales voices. Adam and you both looked at each other letting out a nervous laugh. Looking over and noticing confusion wash over the salesman's face. You felt bad saying trying to find the words, "No. We are not. Uhm I mean. No uhh thank you were here helping our friend." As you spoke it was hitting you. _What is this? What are Adam and you doing?_ Adam just watches you stumble to explain not knowing what to say either because he was thinking the same thing. A moment goes by awkwardly when Peter announces, "I choose this one" as he holds it up waving you and Adam over.

New Year's Eve was here and the apartment was perfect. You convinced Madi to let you do some extra decorating adding twinkling white lights around the apartment as well as some streamers and hanging happy new year signs. The apartment really looked great and you were so excited for your friends. The rest of the day was spent getting things ready for the party. You were in charge of desserts so you decided to make brownie bites and mini cheesecake bites to go along Madi's strict finger food menu. Once everything was set out and ready Madi says, "it all looks great thanks for the help Y/N". Walking over to her wrapping a friendly arm around her giving a squeeze, "it no problem. You know I like to help." She smiles at your genuine response leaning into your embrace, "I know. Now let's get changed. People will be coming soon." The both of you head towards your rooms to get ready. Walking in you head towards your closet flipping through the hangers till you stop on a long sleeve silver v-neck blouse. You paired it with some new slightly distressed dark jeans that really hugged your curves perfectly. Pulling both on you slip on some shoes, fix your make up, and hair then join Madi in her room as she finishes getting ready. Walking in you find her sitting on the floor in front of her standing mirror doing her makeup. She always took forever to get ready. Madi watched in the mirror as you came in taking a seat on her bed. "Damn you look hot. Are those new?" She asks, pointing to the jeans. "Yeah do they look alright?" You smile at the compliment. "Shit yes and Adam will love them too" she says. You both laugh trying not to blush, you say, "shut up and get ready." Shortly after Peter came in joining the two of you in Madi's room. You glanced at him with excited eyes because you knew his secret plan. He came over and kissed Madi on the head and laid down on the bed. After a moment you were thinking. _Where is Adam? I figured he would come with Peter. He's been weird ever since the other day._

It was party time and people started coming by. You plugged your phone in to play your carefully created playlists getting the night going. Madi and Peter's friends started to stream in slowly greeting the ones you knew and being introduced to a few that were new. Shortly after that Madi's family came in. Her sister Sara and long-term boyfriend Ben as well as her mom Claire. Everyone was settling in getting snacks and drinks having a good time and you were wondering. _Where is Adam?_ Your thoughts were interrupted when Sara came up behind you saying, "Y/N come here I haven't seen you in forever". Turning you embrace her warm hug. You genuinely loved Sara. When Madi and you became friends she took you in and treated you like a sister. "How is school? Madi said you helped with the Christmas program. I'm so happy you're getting involved with music again." You smile and explain, "school is great you know how much I love it and yeah I've been enjoying getting back into it a little." She matches your enthusiasm asking as she leans over a little, "Madi has also told me you met a guy. Where is he?" Instantly you roll your eyes, _of course she did_. Trying to brush it off, "he was Peter's friend first and he should be here soon." Moving on you greet Madi's mom with a hug catching up with her. About an hour has gone by maybe even a little longer and Adam still wasn't there and it was bothering you. You make your way over to check your phone but you're stopped by a guy asking you about the record collection. The two of you start talking about music and you explain that it's your records collection. He asks which albums were your favorites and you pull out a couple showing him enjoying the conversation. It has been a good while since you've talked about music like this. Still talking you notice the door open and because you can't help it your eyes search for who it was. Adam makes his way in and automatically your irritation rises. The two of you lock eyes and you try not to show your irritation but you give a slight eye roll and continue to talk and laugh with the guy in front of you. _Tonight is special for our friends. How dare he come this late._

Adam had been working himself up everyday since Jessa called and the awkward encounter with the salesman at the jewelry store _. I still love you_ and _the two of you are very cute together_ were constantly playing over and over again in his mind. He couldn't shake the words and he was scared to talk to you about it. The last time he tried to talk and work things out with Jessa she left. He also hadn't always had the best track record of working things out with people for example Hannah, Jessa, Mimi Rose, or even Natalia. But here you were this sexy, smart, kind, selfless, surprising woman that it scared him. Here Jessa was he knew what to expect from her, and she was ready to start over, but you were there changing everything. Adam tried to stay focused and read the rest of the scripts he had but he just couldn't. It was New Year's Eve and it was a rough day battling his thoughts. He started getting ready for the party, but it hit him that he was going to see you which brought all those thoughts to light again. Adam left his apartment in search of an AA Meeting he had to get some of this off his chest before he went to the party. Took him a little bit but he found one. The meeting started and after listening to a couple people explain their struggles during the holidays Adam stood up real quick he couldn't wait any longer. "Hi, I'm Adam. I'm an alcoholic." Everyone responded with, "Hi Adam." Internally he cringed but kept going, "yeah hi. I uhh have been struggling not with drinking. I mean this shit makes me want to drink but I haven't." He takes a deep breath trying to gather his thoughts as everyone looks at him. "I just want to know when things in life get easier. I mean I know life fucking sucks but it's like at some point it has to get a little better right. My career has been so good lately and I'm really going somewhere but I want to go somewhere with someone you know. My ex is an addict who has found some help and is doing better at least it seems like it anyways. I tried so hard with her for so fucking long when she blamed me for so much shit and when it got rough she gave up and left. Now she's like brand new trying to work on us, but I've made a new friend who I mean is definitely more than a friend but I'm scared. Im fucking scared of what this is what it could be because everything I start doesn't ever fucking end well." It was like a weight was lifted from his chest. He knew he still needed to work through his thoughts but being able to just talk helped him. Adam left the meeting hating he was late to the party but knew he needed that. He walked up the stairs to your apartment. Opening the door he waves at a few people he knows and scans the room for you. His eyes lock on you and he watches as you're talking and laughing with some guy showing him your records. A tinge of anger started to hit his chest. Your eyes locked with his and he knew by your expression you were not happy with him.

You could feel Adam's eyes burning a hole in you as you kept talking to this guy. After a couple more minutes you gave an excuse to break from the conversation heading into the kitchen to make sure the food and drinks were all good. You smile as you pass a couple people and get into the kitchen to refill the chip bowls. Without hesitation Adam was following you into the kitchen leaning against the counter watching you. First thing he noticed was how perfect your jeans hugged your body. Looking you up and down it distracted him for a moment. Side eyeing him you say, "look who showed up." This broke Adam's concentration on you replying, "yeah sorry I just had to do something before I came." _What would he have to do? What is he not telling me?_ You were lost in thought just going through the motions of a hostess. Adam was looking at you with that look of seeing right through you. He knew you were irritated with him, "are you mad at me?". Turning to look at him trying to read his expression, eyes looking him over, "what did you have to go do?" Both of you were trying to figure the other one out projecting your feelings on insignificant issues. Adam didn't want to discuss this right now so he said, "who's that?", motioning towards records guy. You laugh a little, finally noticing his jealousy but deciding not to downplay. "Oh yeah that's my new friend" you say with a slight devilish smirk. Adam's skin started to heat up at your response. _What the fuck is she doing._ Checking the drinks everything was good. A couple people came in the kitchen and started to greet Adam. You decided to slip away back to the party.

During the whole party Adam and you kept eyeing each other from across the room. Madi came to you asking for help setting some midnight celebration drinks out. The two of you head into the kitchen. You line the counter with small plastic cups as Madi comes and pours the champagne. Peter announces, "Hey everyone 5 minutes till midnight. Come grab a cup for the midnight toast." Everyone starts making their way to grab a cup as you slip off to the side where you saved two. Opening a cabinet you find the sparkling juice you had got for you and Adam. Pouring two cups you close everything back up and notice Peter looking at you for encouragement. You shoot him a big smile and a thumbs up he smiles back ready for his moment. Looking around you find Adam standing against the wall just waiting. You walk over and stand next to him. Adam spots you out of the corner of his eye but doesn't really acknowledge you. Handing him a cup he looks over at you crazy, "I got us some sparkling juice". His face softens and takes the cup. The two of you just stand there together for a moment in silence. Madi stands in the middle of the apartment looking around saying, "20 seconds everyone get ready to countdown". Everyone gathers around getting ready. You motion over to Sara to start recording and she does. Everyone in unison starts 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, you and Adam exchange glances, 4, 3, 2, 1 HAPPY NEW YEAR! Cheers and excitement erupt throughout the entire apartment. Your eyes were focused on Peter and Madi. The two of them hug and kiss wishing each other a happy new year then he does it. Peter drops down on one knee. Your eyes start to well up a single tear drops at how happy you are for your friends as everyone starts to notice and freak out. Peter pulls out the ring saying, "Madi I've loved you since the moment I met you. You are my other half and I can't think about going through life without you." Madi was in shock. She was so surprised her hands went toward her face covering her tears. She starts to hop a little and yell "YES YES YES" over and over as she drops down to hug and kiss Peter. Everyone in the apartment was congratulating them. In the moment you and Adam share a couple of glances silently trying to push aside the petty way the two of you were being. Raising your cup he does the same and you clink them together saying, "Happy New Year". Adam laughs a little and follows your lead, "Happy New Year."

The party was winding down as you and Adam were sitting together on the couch. His large hand was on your thigh sticking his fingers through the distressed area of your jeans moving them gently across your skin. Once the party was pretty much over the last couple of people were making their way out. Peter and Madi were walking them out saying "thank you for coming". You started cleaning up stuff that had to be put up like food as Adam started picking up some trash around the apartment. Madi came to help and you shooed her away, "I got this." She purses her lips at you, "Let me help." You smirk saying, "No I got it. You two go have a good night." Giving up her and Peter go grab their jackets. Looking up you say as they leave, "love you guys bye". Peter says bye to you and Adam as Madi sticks her head in the doorway saying with a goofy look, "you have a good night too" motioning her eyes towards Adam. Rolling your eyes and laughing, "get out Bye!" After a couple of minutes the food was put up and you figured you could clean the rest tomorrow. Looking over at Adam you say, "thanks for the help but I'll get the rest tomorrow." He picked up a couple more things and you watched as he did so those thoughts started coming back, you becoming frustrated and confused again. _What is going on with him? Why can't he just talk to me? Why was he late?_ Trying not to show your emotions you walk over to turn lights off, grab your phone, and put your records away. Adam's eyes were on you and he could tell that things were still bothering you. Watching you put your records away reminded him of his irritation when he saw you talking to that guy. The apartment was being filled with frustration that neither of you knew how to deal with. Turning around you glance at Adam and say, "im going to bed". Adam watched as you quickly walked away his irritation grew and he followed after you.

Stepping in your room you walk in slipping your shoes off and tossing them to the side. Going over to your dresser to find something to sleep in, that's when you hear footsteps behind you. Adam comes in saying, "you know you're pretty hot when you're mad." Rolling your eyes saying, "i'm not mad." He steps a little closer, "fuck that. what's up with you then." You were in the middle of changing when his words struck you. Turning to face him only in your bra and jeans, "Me?" Adam was taken aback by your quick reaction. Stepping closer poking him in the chest saying, "what's up with me? what's up with you?". He was stepping back as you stepped closer, hitting the end of your bed sitting that the two of you were face to face now. Eyes searching each other he says, "who was that guy?" You squint your eyes at him trying to find answers, "does it matter?" Adam knew what he wanted to say but he couldn't get the words out. You go to walk away when you feel his strong grip on your wrist stopping you. Pulling you close his arms wrap around you holding you in place. Placing a hand on the side of his face, lips crash together. The pace is smooth and rhythmic but starts to build as the two of you are fighting with your feelings of the night.

The kiss deepens sending warmth throughout your body. Before separating you bite semi softly at his bottom lip he releases a soft hiss. He moves to your neck placing a couple kisses sucking the skin till it stung a little this time making sure to leave a mark. You let out a sharp breath as all of these feelings were mixing together building your need for him. Your hands moving down to find the bottom of his shirt pulling it off of him then removing your jeans. Adam was watching you as you slowly unbuttoned and slid them off so perfectly he was growing hard every second watching you. Moving back to him you straddle his lap as his hands move to your ass giving a squeeze lips crashing together again tongues twisting. Your fingers tangle together with his hair tugging a little causing him to let out a soft moan. Starting to move your hips against his feeling his hardness you let out a breathy "uhhhh". Adam held onto your thighs as he laid back on your bed keeping you on top. You move your lips to his chest peppering kisses as you move your hips against him more. Adam's hands are on your waist helping guide your movements holding you close. Your need for him was growing. Moving your way down you unbutton his pants and pull them off his eyes not leaving you. Wrapping your finger under the waistband of his briefs you slowly move them down releasing his hardened length. Adam lets out, "uhh look what you fucking do to me." You smile wrapping your hand around him gently stroking he releases a low moan and you pick up speed. After a moment you move over him placing your mouth over his tip hearing him moan you take more of him in bobbing your head. Adam was in awe watching you his pleasure builds, but he didn't want to finish like this he wanted you, "Shit get on top." Hearing those words sent a pulse to your core and you knew you were dripping. Wiggling out of your panties you climb on top you move your hips slipping his length between your folds, "look what you do to me" you said in a breathy voice. He grabbed his length and angled it towards your core. Slowly you sink onto him as your walls stretch around him. Almost in unison both of you let out a loud moan. Adam places his hands on your hips helping you move on top of him. Quickly you unhook your bra letting it slip off your shoulders tossing it to the side. Adam leans up taking a bare breast in his mouth sending a shock wave of pleasure through your body. Adam feels you tightening and knows you're getting close, so is he. Sitting up he wraps his arm around you leaning you back slightly but able to be face to face. Pressing foreheads together you keep riding him till both of you are hit with overwhelming pleasure. Both of you stay in that same position holding each other foreheads still pressed together as the two of you come down.

You could see in his eyes he was going through something. Guilt hit you for the way you got frustrated with him over something so little. He was holding onto you so tight not wanting you to slip away. Leaning over you gently pressed your lips to his saying, "I'm always here." Adam didn't say anything, but didn't loosen his grip. He just needed you right there with him.


	15. Chapter 15

Getting back into routine after break has always been difficult. You were never ready for the early mornings and useless meetings, but you did miss your students. When you graduated and passed your certification you were really nervous about actually having the ability to really teach successfully. However, once you got your first job you instantly connected with your students changing your mindset. Being able to share knowledge with someone and see how they use that knowledge to connect it to life and succeed fueled you to keep going. Although you did miss your artistic side that you had buried away. Having Madi and Peter as your friends for so long you were able to share that side of yourself every once and awhile but still was not confident enough to do anything serious about it. Your love for music and telling its stories were how you dealt with things growing up. You had become dependent on using songs to express yourself. Now that you had been spending so much time with Adam and watching him be so creative with his acting you found it inspiring. Maybe that's why when you got settled back into your daily routine after a week or so you decided you were going to help Jaxon with the spring concert.

When you told Jaxon that you would help he was very excited saying, "Y/N this is going to be so great. We have a little time but we need to start thinking about a theme and what type of arrangements we want to do." His excitement was contagious. You smile asking, "Well what would be typical for this type of concert competition at this level." His eyes narrow in thought answering, "Well we are lucky to have a combined age group of really great kids, so really we could do anything, but usually other schools do like love songs, movie soundtracks, golden oldies, and so on." Ideas start to flood your mind and you pace his classroom for a moment. Making eye contact you say, "What if we did a Broadway theme and made our own medley arrangements of classic shows." He was quiet for a moment taking in your idea. Getting nervous that it wasn't a good one you start to rationalize, "I just thought because we have a huge group of kids it would be the best way to show the choir's vocal range and talent giving the different ages their own parts. We can even arrange a few different solo parts to showcase a few special students. Plus it would be fun introducing Broadway and singing show tunes with them." Catching your breath hoping you didn't sound ridiculous. Jaxon was looking at you with wide eyes and a huge grin, "Y/N that's an incredible idea. That would be really easy to incorporate into my classroom lessons as well, so the students will be getting extra instruction and practice. We could do classic shows as well as a few new ones." Shocked that your idea was actually good, "Really you think so?" Jaxon walked over to you placing his hands on your shoulders locking eyes with you, "Yes I wish I came up with the idea," He then embraces you in a quick hug then looking at you again saying, "thank you for helping this is going to be great. Now I want you to brush up on your show tunes and start making a list of potential songs. I'll do the same then we can meet next week to start making song arrangements." You smile and nod, "sounds like a plan." When you got home from work you started researching right away.

As you threw yourself back into work so did Adam. After the holidays Anne his manager had to get word back to the different production companies if he was going to take the different roles. He figured it was nothing but luck that he landed the interest for three separate jobs so he told Anne he would do them all. Anne at first was surprised because that was a lot for someone to take on. "Adam are you sure you want to do all three roles? You won't have a lot of time off", she explained over the phone. That was music to his ears. He was so worked up and struggling with what was going on in his personal life that he just wanted to act. Adam wanted to slip away into another character and be lost in that world so that he wouldn't have to face his reality. "Yes Anne i've decided to do all three.", he said plainly in response. "Okay kid i'll let them know. Make sure to check your email soon they will start sending different schedules, scripts, and basic information. I will start scheduling your shoots, meetings, as well as read over the contracts.", she adds. "Thanks Anne," then he hangs up the phone being sucked back to reality. Sitting there his thoughts were spinning, so he decided to check the visiting hours of the rehab facility. Staring at the visiting times he is struck with the memories of Jessa. How much he shared with her, how he thought he found someone he understood and understood him, how he dropped everything for her, and how he loved her. Immediately as he shifted through the happy memories he was hit hard with the toxicity and selfish characteristics of their relationship. Like the fact she would throw Hannah in his face every time they fought, only half supporting his creativity, or when he tried to work through things she was only ever stuck in the moment, never able to move forward. He wanted to help her but he couldn't see her right now so he decided to call her.

After getting through to the facility communication secretary and requesting to talk to Jessa. He waits a moment as the line is being connected and thinks _fuck this is a bad idea_. As he is about to hang up he hears her voice, "Hello". "Uhhh Hey it's Adam." he says, scrambling to find the words to speak. Jessa says in a surprised voice she did not think he would call her, "hi Adam." Suddenly he was remembering why he called, "I just wanted to talk to you for a minute." Jessa held the phone a little tighter waiting to hear what he had to say, "Yeah of course go ahead". Adam takes a moment to sort through his thoughts and continues, "Look, I'm very happy that you're getting help and I want to be your friend and help you, but you cannot just call me out of nowhere and tell me you love me. For fuck sakes I tried for a long time with you and you never really told me you loved me. You left after I risked so much for you and took the blame for so much. I've met someone and I'm seeing how it goes. I am getting a lot of acting jobs so I don't have time for fucking games. If you need a friend I'll be your friend." Jessa was quiet taking in everything he was saying. It hurt to hear he had met someone, but with his offer of friendship she saw opportunity. A moment of silence goes by. Jessa says, "you're right Adam. I'm sorry. Yes I need a friend." Adam takes a deep breath relaxing at her response, "When do you get out?", he asks. "In a couple of days, I'll be staying with my sponsor for a little while.", Jessa answered. Adam was surprised at how soon, but wanted to be supportive, "okay sounds good. Uhm you can call me if you need to talk." Jessa grateful for his support, "I will, thanks Adam, Bye." "Bye Jessa", he hangs up and takes a deep breath as the anxiety, anger, and frustration starts to melt away. Adam thought to himself, _that went a lot better than I thought it would_. As his worries start to disappear they are replaced with thoughts of you.

During the rest of the week everything had been very hectic for both of you, neither of you being able to see each other or really talk. Along with starting to work with the school's choir you were given three brand new students. This entailed testing them, creating a personal learning form for each one, as well as developing an instruction schedule around the students you already have while not interfering with their core subject teacher's schedules. Everyday that week you had been leaving work later and later because you had so much to get done. Adam started his first role for a new tv series that followed two friends out of college in New York as they start adult life. His character was an art major who worked in a book store trying to figure out what he wanted to do with his life. Adam had started going to table reads as well as production meetings everyday. The whole process was fascinating to him and he loved it, but it was a lot of work. So much more work than doing a guest spot or commercial.

Finally the long stressful week was coming to an end for you and Adam. He had only one meeting then was off for the weekend before they started shooting scenes on Monday. As he was walking home his phone rings. When he pulls it out of his pocket it reads Caroline immediately answering, "Hey Bitch. What's up?". She laughs answering, "Hello brother. Laird was so loving and got us reservations at this couples meditation retreat this weekend. I was hoping you could watch Sample for us." Adam listened and could hear how well his sister was doing. He has been checking in and keeping in touch with Laird ever since she got back. Caroline was able to really get the help she needed to be a great mom and he supported her. He answered quickly, "Yeah of course." Caroline was so happy, "thank you Adam. We will drop her off later."

Your work day finally came to an end after staying extra late for a district meeting and finishing student reports because you really didn't want to take anything home this weekend. Packing up your bag and straightening up your desk you grab your things and head out glancing at your phone you had a missed call from Adam. You decided since his apartment was closer than yours you'd pick up take out and go by his apartment to formally apologize for being so busy and missing his call. Enjoying the late night walk through the Brooklyn streets you stick your headphones in listening to Losing My Religion by R.E.M.

Making your way you picked up the food and made it to Adam's apartment building. You were lucky someone was coming out as you were going in so you were able to slip in. As you stepped into the building you knew it was late but you could hear a child crying. Not thinking anything you head up the stairs and the closer you get to Adam's door the louder the cry was getting. You get to his door completely confused where the crying is coming from and knock instantly you hear him practically yelling, "Fuck, What?". He makes his way to his door and hears you say, "Adam it's me.", quickly he is opening the door. You see him holding a crying child walking with a sway trying to comfort her. Immediately you go into helping mode walking in closing the door behind you and setting your stuff down. "What's going on.", you ask concerningly. He looked exhausted and completely at a loss for what to do, answering frustratedly, "my niece Sample. Im watching her as her parents are at a fucking meditation retreat doing some hippie shit. Ive changed her, fed her, played with her, and she wont sleep or stop crying." he continued to pace and sway through his apartment. Stepping closer trying to get a good look at his niece you place a soft hand on her back slightly rubbing saying in a soft voice, "Hi Sample, im Y/N. It's okay." Adam stopped moving for a moment allowing you to introduce yourself and see what she would do. Sample looked at you interested quieting a little but not stopping. You noticed her nose was running and her eyes were slightly puffy which indicated to you she was probably fighting some congestion and allergies. Adam started moving again, still unsure of what to do and you ask, "can I help." He looks at you desperately, "please I hate her fucking crying." Reaching your arms out toward him indicating for him to give her to you he does. Adam starts to rub his face and run his hand through his hair. You look at Sample, "Hi sample, it's okay, I'm Uncle Adam's friend." Adam watching you intently seeing how natural you were with her. Looking at Adam you say, "you need some air. Run to the corner store and grab some child allergy medicine. It has pink packaging and get the grape flavor. The cherry tastes like shit." He looks at you almost like you were speaking a different language, so you repeat, "Child allergy medicine grape flavor go. Take a breath and go. We will be right here." He lets out a sigh and starts making his way out the door. You yell out, "also grab some little oranges if they have some." Adam takes a deep breath and hurries to get what you asked for.

The door closes and Sample is still crying so you walk around rocking her trying to bring some sort of comfort but she is still not having it. You look around the apartment and find her bag. Searching through you find some extra clothes, a diaper, and some essential oils one labeled lavender. Then an idea hit you. Grabbing her stuff you head into the bathroom and start the bath. Checking to make sure it wasn't too warm you let the water fill the bottom of the tub. You grab a towel and a washcloth from Adam's cabinet. Once the bottom of the tub was filled you took out the Lavender oil dropping some into the water and using your hand to mix it around. You then take sample's clothes off and set her into the tub. It took a couple of minutes but she started to calm down only letting out a couple sniffles. You kept talking to her and using your hand to pour the water on her to help calm her down, "Sample sweetie, it's all okay Uncle Adam will be right back. Look at you, we're already feeling better aren't you. The water feels good and it smells good." By this point Adam was making his way back. Walking into his apartment he was hit with an overwhelming smell of lavender, "What the fuck is that smell?  
Y/N?". You softly call out, "we are in here." He follows your voice and finds you sitting on the floor next to the tub carefully splashing water on Sample as she calms down. "How did you get her to stop crying?" he asked, amazed. "Lavender bath. Your sister had some essential oils in her bag. Lavender is very calming. We uses it at school for certain kids who get overwhelmed or over stimulated sometimes." He just watched you absolutely stunned by the way you were able to think so quickly and take care of her. The three of you just sat there till the water got cold. Adam held the towel up and you held Sample up, "looks it's Uncle Adam", she smiled and Adam wrapped her up in a towel and took her. You followed getting her clothes and diaper then handing them off so he could put them on her. Finding the medicine Adam had got you read over the instructions and measure out the right dose saying, "this is to help her feel better helping get rid of the runny nose, puffy, and watery eyes." Adam nods indicating for you to continue. Walking over you introduce the meds to Sample who was pleasantly surprised liking the grape flavor. Going back you go into the kitchen and cut up the orange into small little pieces and bring them over on a plate sitting next to Adam holding Sample. You offer her an orange and she takes it with a smile and sucks on the juices. "What's the oranges for?", he was very curious how you knew all of this. "The vitamin C in the oranges will help her immune system and the juice will keep her hydrated." you say with a smile as you entertain Sample who is very interested in you. The night got later and later and Sample started to get fussy again. Adam was trying his best to get her to fall asleep. It was obvious she was tired rubbing her eyes and yawning but she was fighting it so hard. Adam tried walking and swaying again but it was not working. You stand up and say, "here let me try". He walks over to you handing her off, "good luck." you let out a small laugh and stand up grabbing her and tucking her in your arms. You hadn't taken care of a baby in a long time but you were so surprised at how fast it all came back to you. You start to rock your arms softly and sway side to side. Taking one hand barely touching her forehead with two fingertips you gently trace shapes across her forehead. Sample froze as if she was in a trance starting to succumb to her tiredness. A song started playing in your mind and you began to sing looking straight into her eyes.  
 _"When evening falls_  
 _She'll run to me_  
 _Like whispered dreams_  
 _Your eyes can see_  
 _Soft and warm_  
 _She'll touch my face_  
 _A bed of straw_  
 _Against the rays_  
 _We believed_  
 _We'd catch the rainbow_  
 _Ride the wind to the sun_  
 _Sail away on ships of wonder_  
 _But life's not a wheel_  
 _With chains made of steel_  
 _So bless me_  
 _Come the dawn"_  
Within a minute or two Sample was fast asleep in your arms. You held her close for a few moments enjoying the warmth of her. You really did love little kids. Adam came over and gently scooped her up and laid her in her little pop up crib he had in his apartment making sure she was settled and wasn't waking up.

The two of you fell onto the couch a feeling of exhaustion shared between you. Adam's arm stretches across your lap holding onto your thigh as he lays his head on your shoulder. You wrap an arm around him gently playing with a strand of hair. He asks in a whisper voice, "How the fuck did you do that?". A little confused you say matching his tone, "Do what?". Looking up at you he says, "how did you know what to do with Sample?". Thinking for a moment, "I just did. I mean growing up I raised Evie and Aidan cause my mom was never around, so I learned a lot young." Adam listens carefully thinking about the things he had to learn young. Seeing you with Sample and how naturally motherly you were struck him with that warm feeling just adding another thing to the long list of things he likes about you. "Why did you sing that song?" he asks, keeping his eyes studied on you. "Oh it's just a song I would sing to my siblings. It's weird I hadn't sung it in a long time, but when I was holding her it was like a muscle memory.", you say meeting his eyes. "What's it about?", he keeps the questions coming. "It's kind of funny. It's actually a late 70's hard rock band song that I just slowed the tempo slightly to make it sound more like a lullaby." his eyes urge you to continue your story. "There are a lot of different ideas of what the song means, but I think it's about seeing the hope in a new day, not giving up, and to keep dreaming." Adam just stared at you in awe hearing you talk like this. You stared back at him the way he was looking at you was making you feel that warm, safe, and secure feeling again. Leaning your head down slightly placing your forehead on his you take a breath and close your eyes. Next thing you know Adam's lips are softly pressing against yours. Meeting his pace the two of you move passionately together. Separating you lay your head on Adam and he holds you a little closer. You both were so tired but enjoyed just sitting there in comfortable silence. Adam takes a deep breath, "it's late, lets go to bed." he stands grabbing your hand. Heading into the bedroom he sheds pretty much all his clothes except his briefs. You follow suit tossing your jeans to the side. Adam rustles around his dresser and pulls out a huge tshirt tossing it to you. Grabbing it he watches as you take your shirt off and slip his on. The two of you slide into bed. Adam's large strong arms immediately wrap around you pulling you close to him. You entangle yourself with him the best you can resting your head on his chest. In a soft voice you hear him say, "sing it again." Processing what he said. _He wants me to sing to him?_ Taking a breath you place your hand starting to trace gentle shapes on his chest. He hums in response to your touch. Closing your eyes you start to sing,  
" _We believed_  
 _We'd catch the rainbow_  
 _Ride the wind to the sun_  
 _Sail away on ships of wonder_  
 _But life's not a wheel_  
 _With chains made of steel_  
 _So bless me_  
 _Come the dawn"_  
The two of you drifted off into a peaceful sleep knowing you had each other in that moment. A feeling of completeness washes over the two of you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song- Catch The Rainbow by Rainbow


	16. Chapter 16

The next morning you were awoken by your bladder. Carefully getting out of bed not to wake Adam you sneak into the bathroom. Once you were done you could hear Sample moving around in the pop up crib. You snuck around the corner checking on her. She moved around grabbing at things around her then sitting up. Watching for a minute you glance back towards Adam. He was sleeping so peacefully so you decided you would try your best to let him sleep. Looking back at Sample she was sitting up and moving around some more then she caught you. Instantly she was starting to fuss wanting out of her crib. Taking a few steps over towards her she is immediately putting her arms up. "Okay i'll get you sweet girl. Good Morning.", you say in a soft happy voice causing a big smile to come across her face. Memories of childhood routines flooded your mind of when your siblings were little. They were so cute when they were this little, you thought to yourself as you walked around the apartment with Sample. As your memories of nostalgia came so did your instincts. After a minute your motherly characteristics took over. Quietly you got her changed and fixed her a bottle based on the note Caroline left Adam, and fed it to her. She is a really good baby, you thought as you moved quietly around Adam's apartment.  
After letting her bottle settle for a little bit you instinctively knew she probably would need something else, so you search the kitchen. Adam started rustling around in bed arms searching the sheets for you. Suddenly it hit him that he had been sleeping a little too long. Sitting up quickly he was confused why he didn't hear Sample. A little concerned he moves out of bed slipping some lightweight pants on. Coming out of the room he stops focused on you in the kitchen. Rubbing his eyes making sure this was really happening. You were oblivious to him too in the zone enjoying your time with Sample never changing just walking around with a baby on your hip in nothing but your bra, panties, and his large tshirt. You kept talking to her in a soft voice, "Samp lets get you some food you want to?". You find the home jarred baby food guessing by the look and smell, "Look which one do you want: apples or bananas?". She reached towards one grabbing it, " Apples! That's a good choice, I love apples." searching you find a small bowl pouring the food in and grabbing the small spoon making sure it was all mixed together. Adam just watched you taking care of Sample so naturally, so caringly, and so sexy. Of course Adam had thought about having a family. Hell he even tried to convince Hannah to let him be the father to her child, but she horrifically shot him down. Seeing you like this brought all those thoughts, feelings, and memories to the forefront of his mind. It was so domestic and he loved it.

"Morning," he said in a low tone, making you jump a little. Turning you say, "oh shit", Adam lets out a laugh and you look down at Sample, "Sorry Samp." She wasn't phased too focused on the food you were getting her. Locking eyes with Adam he had a big smirk you say, "That's not funny." Quick to answer, "yes it was", he winks and heads to the bathroom. Making your way to the table you couldn't help but smile feeling your face heat up. Adam comes back into the kitchen glancing at you carefully spooning just the right amount of food feeding Sample as she sat comfortably in your lap. He couldn't help but grin at the sight of it all asking, "Do you want something to eat? I think I only have cereal?." Looking up, catching his stare, "yeah sounds good." After making two bowls he joins Sample and you at the table reaching across saying, "Good Morning Samp". She smiles and reaches towards him. By now she was pretty well finished with her food and just wanted her Uncle Adam so he picked her up and pushed your bowl of cereal over to you. "Thanks", you said as you swirled the spoon around staring at Adam holding a child. You didn't think much about it the night before because you were consumed with wanting to help him. However sitting here seeing him be so fatherly was really fucking hot. Sighing you distract yourself by focusing on your cereal.

The rest of the day was spent in domestic bliss. Sample was feeling so much better exploring the apartment getting into everything making every effort to talk. You enjoyed watching Adam chase her around getting frustrated when she kept getting into things that he would pull her away from. Eventually you switched with him sitting on the floor with her making little faces and talking to her to keep her entertained. Adam watched happily never really imagining he would get an opportunity like this. It made him really think that maybe a life like this was something he really wanted. After a little fighting Adam was able to get Sample down for a nap. Laying her down he joined you on the couch where you were checking emails on your phone. That comfortable silence fell over the two of you for a few moments till you felt his large hand start to gently rub up and down your legs. Glancing over your phone you can see his dark eyes staring at you. A smirk grows across your face and you tilt your head a little, "What are you doing." A big goofy smile forms on his lips moving a little closer as his grip on your bare legs get a little tighter, "nothing." Putting your phone down you narrow your eyes a little, "doesn't seem like nothing." He laughed a little taking a deep breath leaning over kissing your knee moving up placing one on your thigh. You run your finger through his hair as he hummed at your touch asking, "When are they picking Sample up?". His eye shot up at you thinking about it confused by your question, "uh later around 6 I think.". You laugh a little at his response saying, "we don't want to wake her up do we?". He grinned at your statement pulling your body closer to him saying against your skin, "you don't know how to be quiet?" His question sent heat to your core. Thinking for a moment, It's only a couple hours till 6. You gave him a playful smirk touching the side of his face asking in a lustful tone, "do you?" He froze staring at you taking in what you said and how you said it made his skin heat up. The both of you shared a look of understanding knowing there was no way now either of you could keep quiet. Tapping his cheek you say playfully, "the wait will be worth it." Immediately you move away to find something to do looking over your shoulder back at Adam. His expression was partly surprised, frustrated and excited he thought, 6 couldn't come fast enough.

Those couple of hours waiting was excruciating for Adam and you. Adam started cleaning up around his apartment to keep himself busy but you didn't make it easy on him. You decided to go through your work bag dropping a few. When you bent down to pick it up you were very dramatic about it making sure he saw your ass peek through his shirt you were still wearing. At some point you had grabbed one of his books and started reading making sure that you were completely focused holding the tip of your finger between our teeth and letting out a few sighs. You could feel his eyes burning holes into you which just built your need for him. Adam was enjoying the game but his need for you was growing and he didn't know how much longer he could wait. Some more time passed and Adam's phone rings quickly he answers, "Hello". It was Caroline, "Hey brother, we will be by to get Sample soon." With a mischievous grin he looks over at you saying, "okay yeah i'll get her stuff together, bye." You matched his grin standing up saying, "I'll help." starting to pick up some of Sample's toys and things around. He stood up moving over to pack some of her things away in her bag. Both of you stealing glances at each other as the anticipation builds.

A couple minutes went by and the two of you were sitting together on the couch with Sample bouncing on your lap laughing. You had quickly slipped your jeans on because there was no way you were going to possibly meet Adam's sister with no pants on not realizing she wouldn't have cared one bit. Adam groaned when he saw your jeans on but you intentionally didn't button them. The minutes were going by so slowly till you heard a knock on the door and Adam jumped up so fast almost running towards the door causing you to laugh to yourself saying, "Samp you Uncle is crazy." She had no idea what you were saying but thought it was so funny. Adam's eyes looked at you and it sent a chill down your spine like he was going to get me for that. Opening the door you saw Caroline and her partner Laird standing there excited to see Sample. Adam started handing off Sample's things as quickly as he could. Caroline came toward you watching how easily and caringly you were with Sample. As she got closer you stood up and said, "look who it is Sample.", then handing her off with a smile. You felt the urge to introduce yourself since you've spent like two days with her child, "Hi, im Y/N." Caroline looked you over and gave you a reassuring smile, "Nice to meet you. Im Caroline. There's something about you. I like it. Your energy is good." The words she was saying were confusing but you felt oddly comfortable glancing over to Adam he just shrugged. Smiling you say, "uhm thank you", that's when Laird introduced himself going in for a hug. You awkwardly allowed the embrace not that he noticed he had been talking about the retreat. Adam lets out a big sigh frustrated that they were still there. This made you giddy inside. He finally gave up and said, "Hey Caroline we have some stuff to do. "She looked at him then back at you then back at him like she was figuring it out. Letting a playful smile come across her face she tells Laird to get Sample's stuff as she walks toward the door. Laird was moving so slow still explaining how meditation works when Caroline shouted, "Laird move it". Trying your best to stifle your laughter but failing. He answered, "Yes dear", following behind her. Adam and you said goodbye to Sample. Caroline turned around at the door causing Adam to huff loudly, "be careful passion can be a tricky sometimes Laird and I.." Adam cut her off, "Fuck no Caroline, goodbye.". She laughs a little and says, "fine goodbye brother." The door slams shut quickly and your heart starts pounding.

"Fuck I thought they were never going to leave", Adam said breathy before turning to face you. Instantly your lustful eyes meet each other, something in his dark eyes sparkled the longer you looked at them. The two of you could feel the anticipation and excitement between you. You stood there in the middle of his apartment waiting to see what he was going to do. Thinking for a moment, _id let him do whatever the fuck he wants to._ Almost in unison the two of you take a deep breath and move closer till you were right in front of each other. He looked down at you with hungry eyes and your skin was on fire. He tilted your head up, "You made me wait.", you answered quickly, "yes." Brushing his fingers against your chin, "then you teased me all afternoon." A smirk formed on your lips, "Yes I did, what are you going to do about it?". Matching your smirk he brought his face closer to you feeling his breath as he speaks, "I might just fuck the shit out of you." Moving onto your tiptoes whispering into his ear, "Then do it Sackler." You moved back to look at him and within a second his lips crashed into yours. Both of you were passionately moving together tongues devouring each other. His hands were exploring your body as you tangled yours in his hair. Nipping at his bottom lip you smirk when you hear him growl taking in a deep breath. Bending over he scoops you up throwing you over his shoulder giving you a good slap to the ass making you yelp and tingle all over your body.

Bouncing to every step Adam made towards his room he carefully throws you on the bed. You let out a satisfying breath as you stretch out for him. His eyes danced over you saying, " take it all off." Meeting his gaze you sit up and slowly slip his shirt off then unhooking your bra throwing it to the side. Laying back you start to shimmy out of your jeans Adam was getting impatient and in one motion tugged them off including your panties. Watching Adam he just looks at you laying out on his bed waiting for him he grasps at his hardness. Your eyes meet his grasp and a pulse is sent to your core instantly pushing your thighs together for some type of friction. He notices your movements and moves closer tracing his fingers across your skin starting between your breasts down your stomach hitting your inner thigh then down your leg. A tingling sensation covered your body arching your back slightly eager for his touch you could feel your wetness building. Dropping his pants and briefs his length sprung free with excitement. Stepping out of his clothes Adam moved on top of you pressing his lips against yours hands moving down the side of your body finding your breasts and ass grabbing and squeezing. You let out a soft moan at his touch causing him to tighten his grip on you only making you louder. Your hands moved softly up and down his muscular back causing him to release a hum vibrating the kiss.

Adam breaks away peppering kisses down your neck, chest, breasts, and continuing to move lower you let out heavy breaths the closer he gets to your core. Your eyes shift down to watch him when he shoots you a playful look. Suddenly Adam had snuck his arms under your knees flipping you over on your stomach causing you to let out a noise of surprise. He laughed a little tracing his fingers down your back like before causing the same reaction. Looking back at him the image of him burned into your mind and you knew you were dripping now. "Fuck look at you, your fucking beautiful.", he said looking at how you were slayed out ready for him. He tugged on your hips a little and you moved your ass up. Pressing his body against yours the both of you let out a moan at the contact. Adam pressed his length against your folds making you melt into the sheets a little. His hands were grabbing at your ass then you felt it he spanked you. Your skin stung slightly with ripples of pleasure running through your legs and stomach, "fuck", you mewed. "That's for making me wait.", another smack to the other cheek, "uhhh fuck." you let out again. "That was for playing your little games all afternoon.". Your mouth hung open slightly as you rocked with the pleasurable sting slightly moving back to get more contact. He grips our hips pressing his length against your folds feeling how wet you were, "shit your so wet, I fucking love it." You groan at the complement moving with his motions. "You ready? I said im fucking the shit out of you." he growls. You shift onto your hands holding yourself up not being able to take it anymore you almost yell, "Fuck me Adam, please". It was so animalistic he slammed into you causing your head to fall into the sheets gripping them tightly, "fucking shit." The rhythm was rough and hard filling you up in a way you had never been. You knew his grip on your hips would leave a mark and you didn't care one bit. The two of you were moving together as Adam kept quickly slamming into you. Adam was reveling in the sight of you taking him like this building his climax. Turning your head slightly you could see over your shoulder getting a glimpse of Adam pound into you. Sweat glistened his skin and he was so focused making your eyes shut and roll back building your climax as well. Keeping the pace Adam could feel you tightening, "fuck I wanna hear that pretty little voice." Hearing those words and a couple more slamming pounds you were tipped over the edge, "Adam yes, oh God, fuck.", was all you could make out with whatever satisfying sounds left your chest. After hearing you Adam was so close pumping a couple more times then spilling into you with a, " Fucking shit Y/N". Once he slowed down the two of you out of breath collapsed onto the bed.

The two of you just laid there gathering your thoughts and energy. That familiar warm feeling washed over the two of you. A couple moments go by and you feel Adams' arms slink around you pulling you into him enjoying the silence and being together you snuggled into his embrace. After a while Adam sits up looking you over and noticing the red tinge on your ass. His hand starts to rub it gently like he was concerned. You say, "Im fine." Looking at you he says, "You sure I got a little carried away." With a smirk you say, "promise I'm fine. You should get carried away a little more often." His motions stop surprised by your answer leaning back towards you placing a soft kiss on your shoulder then your lips saying, "oh really. You like that?". Rolling your eyes trying to play it off, "I don't hate it. If that's what you mean." With a playful growl he wraps his arms around you almost on top of you pressing you into the bed kissing and nipping at your skin he says, "don't fucking play with me." Letting a laugh out you answer, "Yes I like it.". "That's what I thought." he says before pressing his lips to yours as you meet his rhythm.

Once the two of you detangled and cleaned yourselves up you both realized you were starving. Deciding to grab some pizza and coming back to the apartment to devour it. While the two of you were eating Adam asked you about work and how it was going. You excitedly told him all about your idea for the spring concert. He watched you so intently loving how passionate you were about your job. You in turn asked him about starting the tv series. Watching him talk about everything was so fascinating to you because had a way that just sucked you in while he talked and you loved it. It was getting late so the two of you decided to go to bed. Same routine as the night before you slept in one of his tshrts and he was in his briefs. Resting your head on his chest the two of you were silent. Neither of you were falling asleep so Adam spoke, "thank you again for helping with Sample.". A slight smile formed at your lips, "it's no problem I just like to help." He let out a breath and rubbed his fingers against your skin, "I know." A moment of silence goes by again Adam asks, "Do you want kids?". The question surprised you but, you liked his directness and honesty. You answer, "Yes one day.". He processes your answer then you ask, "Do you?". It was silent for a second then he spoke, "yeah I think I do.". Another moment of silence breaking you say, "having kids is kinda scary though." He quickly asks, "why?". Not moving thinking about your answer, "because what if you suck as a parent and screw them up." He listened to you carefully understanding from your family dynamic why you would say that, "you wouldn't screw them up. You would be the best. I would be the one to screw them up.". Your face heated up at the idea of you too talking about having kids. After a minute you say, "I think you would be really great too." Silence consumed the two of you as the realization of what you two were discussing became too much. The importance and how personal it was hung between you two. You both close your eyes trying to go to sleep.

Something was in the air, a feeling you both had been scared of for so long. Scared of it slipping away or ruining it the two of you just let it hang there and wash over the two of you without saying a thing. After a while of just laying there together the two of you eventually fell asleep.


	17. Chapter 17

After what seemed like the perfect weekend spent with Adam both of you had to go back to the real world. A week or so had gone by and Adam had jumped deep into production of the TV series he was shooting. That meant late night filming, daily meetings, rehearsals, early morning starts, and no extra time to do anything else. Since Adam was so busy you hated going home knowing he wouldn't be able to come over whenever to hang out among other activities. You missed him more than you were willing to admit even to yourself. However, you were incredibly proud and inspired by his creative confidence and determination.

You selflessly stepped back so he could focus and do the best job he could, only checking in now and then making sure he was still alive and not letting his actor ego get too big. Work was going really well and you were enjoying it more and more everyday getting a good rhythm going in your daily schedule. Getting up and getting ready you grab a cup of coffee and walk to work. The recent music selection was Broadway musical soundtracks which you were honestly loving. You hadn't listened to that much Broadway since you were still studying theater back in your first two years of college. Getting into work you would automatically turn your computer on, set your things down, set your teaching area up for the day, and then sit at your desk to check and reply to emails. After about an hour it was time for your first round of students. Once they were finished you would walk them back to class then grab the next round of students then the next so on and so on. You were even able to carve out a few moments towards the end of the day to dedicate to students reports and lesson planning allowing you to get ahead for once in your life.

When school was over you had been spending so much of your time working in the choir room with Jaxon helping make decisions and arrangements for the spring concert. The two of you had gone back and forth for days on which songs to pick, what kids could handle solos, whether to go more classic or modern Broadway, and while all this was happening the inner performer that you had suppressed started coming to life a little more each day. As final decisions were made rehearsals were scheduled only taking up an extra hour or so about three times a week. Still trying to fill the time between work and home, Jaxon had mentioned some of his older district choir students looking for voice lessons, so you took him up on it filling those other two days of the week while picking up a little extra money on the side.

Adam was thriving in his element on set. He enjoyed the process and the character, as well as the cast and crew making the environment so welcoming and open. It made him feel free and happy being able to jump in and act and bounce back and forth with the other characters telling a story he believed in. Adam was able to for the first time fully focus on a project with no distractions. As busy and focused as he was you were there as a constant support checking in on him and listening to him only talk about how awesome his job was, and he was grateful. However, as the long days went on he didn't just want to hear you he wanted to see you, touch you, and have you. Adam missed you like really missed you, so the first chance he got when production slowed down and most of his scenes were done shooting he was determined to see you.

Adjusting to your new normal most of your interactions with Madi were through text or little notes the two of you would leave each other around the apartment. Things hadn't really changed since Peter and Madi had gotten engaged due to both of them being super busy with auditions and work, but you knew eventually things would change understanding why. However, it was bittersweet to think about. One morning as you were getting your bags and coffee about to leave Madi came out you said, "Morning. You're up early?". She gave you a sleepy look and answered, "yeah I know. Uhh I have an early audition this morning.". Smiling you give her a big thumbs up, "Good luck text me how it goes. I know you'll be great." Pouring herself some coffee and holding it up to drink, "thank you now get to work.". Heading out the door you yell out, "love you bye." As you're closing the door behind you hearing her response, "bye love you too."

Work was busy like always, but it kept your mind occupied. Today you visited with your normal groups of students as well has helped with some student observations. During your lunch you worked in your office finishing up some reports and printing off the sheet music for your voice lesson student that evening. You had picked up a couple of voice students and were really enjoying the process. This student was getting ready for some college and musical auditions. Jaxon was nice enough to let you use his classroom for your lessons as long as you promised to cover his lunch room duty one day. Reluctantly you agreed because you weren't going to do the lessons anywhere else. Looking over the sheet music you were excited she chose a few Adele songs. The end of the school day came and you had some time to kill before your meeting and voice lesson you think to yourself, _I wonder what Adam is doing right now?_

Adam was currently finishing his last big scene for the series. Now he only had to come back if there was going to be any reshoots or small things that needed to be done. He was so excited to be done even though he loved it. Grabbing his stuff he decided to take the train to get back as soon as possible because he had a plan to surprise you. Trying to keep it a secret he texted Madi asking if you were home and she informed him you were giving voice lessons at the school so that where he headed.

You started the lesson off with voice warm ups doing them with Kara, your student. She was very talented and the two of you clicked the first time meeting. She reminded you so much of yourself when you were young. Also she had a great taste in music, always picking impressive songs to work on. You thought the best way to teach was to be an active participant so you always came prepared knowing the songs, having sheet music prepared for visual instruction, and singing with her. Kara runs through the warm ups with you as well as a few different breath exercises. It was fun going through them bringing you back to how much fun you had performing. Kara picked two Adele songs Make You Feel My Love and All I Ask. Going through the first one a couple times she did very well. You reminded her of her pacing making sure to keep with the timing. Going through it again you added harmonies reminding her to stay focused on the lead. Grabbing some water before starting the second song she explained she was going to use this song for an audition so she wanted to make sure it was perfect. Reassuring her you will help her in every way you could so that it best fits her voice. The two of you go back setting the music when she notices something, "I think someone is in the hallway." Confused why anyone would be in the hallway this late after school you say, "let me go check."

Heading towards the door you look through the window that's when you notice Adam pacing the hallway. Laughing a little you reassure her that it's a friend. Opening the door, "Hey, you know weirdos that hang out around schools like this usually get arrested.". His eyes met yours excitement dancing between the two of you. He said, "Well good thing i'm not that kind of weirdo." A big smile came across your face then you remembered you were in the middle of your lesson looking back at Kara then back at Adam you say, "I'm almost done if you wanna wait like 15 minutes.". Adam quickly nodded his head, "yeah sure.". You were about to close the door when your student spoke up, "Ms.Y/N your friend can come in he doesn't have to wait in the hall. I like an audience." Leaning back through the door you say, "my student apparently needs an audience." He reluctantly comes in and you quickly introduce them and gesture for him to sit.

You easily shift back into the lesson, "Ready? Last song, do a run through." You press play on the song and she goes straight for it. She was an incredible singer, but she gets ahead of herself. When the song was over she got her water waiting for your feedback. Adam watched everything so closely captivated by you. You seemed so emerged in your element explaining in a tough, but gentle way of what she needed to work on. He could see the gears grinding and working in your mind while you listened to your student making mental notes. He loved the way you would close your eyes to listen better. His favorite part was when you would show her what to work on by singing the part. You explained, "remember you can sing beautifully all day long, but you have to put the emotions behind the words to make it believable. This song is constantly building till the end where she has exhausted everything." She nods but still looks a little lost finally she looks at you saying, "Can you show me?" You knew Adam was watching but in that moment you became extra aware of it as she put you on the spot. Taking a deep breath you say, "fine". Taking a sip of water you get ready and Kara presses play counting the beats you came in right on the mark starting slow hitting the first chorus softly. There was just enough of a pause for you to get out, "this is the part that starts to build so you have to bring that emotion to it." spitting out quickly as the song goes on you sing as your eyes get stuck on Adam as he watched you with a calming intense stare. What was he thinking?  
" _I don't need your honesty_  
 _It's already in your eyes_  
 _And I'm sure my eyes, they speak for me_  
 _No one knows me like you do_  
 _And since you're the only one that matters_  
 _Tell me who do I run to?_  
 _Look, don't get me wrong_  
 _I know there is no tomorrow_  
 _All I ask is_  
 _If this is my last night with you_  
 _Hold me like I'm more than just a friend_  
 _Give me a memory I can use_  
 _Take me by the hand while we do what lovers do_  
 _It matters how this ends_  
 _'Cause what if I never love again?"_

The rest of the song flowed out of you so easily as if you had written it yourself. Kara was impressed and tried singing it again doing a wonderful job. When the lesson was over you gave her a couple of things to work on as she agreed and thanked you. "See you next week Ms. Y/N", she shouted as she left. Starting to gather your things you feel your face get warm as you feel almost embarrassed for revealing yourself like that in front of Adam. It wasn't like you hadn't sung in front of him before, but you hadn't sung like that in front of him before. Your worry of being too much or showing too much of yourself started to sink in. He slowly walked over towards you watching as he saw your doubt and anxiety wash over you no matter how much you tried to hide it. "How did you learn to sing like that.", he asked in a low curious tone. Just hearing his voice sent a calm wave over you, "Uhm my grandmother sang a lot when I was a kid so I kind of picked it up, but I kind of taught myself till I did theater in high school." "You're really good you know that right?", he said almost in a way like he was trying to convince you. You turn to face him noticing how close he had gotten just an arms length away. His words hit you like a ton of bricks to the chest. He thinks I'm good? Why is he saying this? You were quite not sure how to respond. He gets closer standing right in front saying, "I never heard anyone sing like that before." Eyes locked on each other and all you could say was a breathy, "Really?". A small grin came across his lips as he reached for you both hands wrapping around your waist, "Really".

Your mind was racing contradicting itself from the barricades and walls you had built and reinforced to protect yourself from your past. In the same moment he leaned down pressing his lips against yours. Like every time you melted into him your lips moving to complement his movements. At first the kiss was soft but it quickly picked up as both of you realized how much you had missed this. Your hands moved up his muscular biceps only stopping at the back of his neck intertwining your fingers with his hair. In response his arms wrapped around you holding you tight against him as if you weren't real. A few moments go by and you hear a commotion in the hallway that brings you back to reality. Breaking the kiss Adam just moves to placing soft kisses on your neck as you look towards the door. Through the small windows you can see the janitors pushing their big carts down the hallway coming to clean. "We have to go, the janitors are going to catch us", you say knowing exactly how he was going to respond. "Uhhh let them.", his breath tickles your skin. Letting out a little laugh you pull back and meet his eyes, "Let's go get dinner because I'm starving then we can go home and really catch up." You give him a playful wink causing the biggest smile to form on his face. He scoops you up and starts running for the door saying, "Sounds good, lets go right now."

After weaseling out of Adam's grasp you clean your stuff up, grab your bags, and lock your office up. The two of you walk down the hall and pass the janitors you say, "thank you, have a good night.'' They smile and nod. Suddenly it hit you asking, "who let you in the building this late?" He smirked at you saying, "oh that nice office lady you introduced me to at the Christmas party. She remembered me." "Of coarse Mrs. Cooper did," you say laughing a little. Both of you walk together finding a cute café on the way home. Dinner was great and you both just talked about what had been going on. Adam told you all about wrapping up his last scene earlier that day and even acting out a couple lines for you. You started clapping your hands saying, "Bravo, bravo." as he gave you a goofy embarrassed look which just made you laugh. He asked you how the concert planning was coming and you explained that rehearsals will be starting soon and which songs will be sung. Dinner was so nice just the two of you being together picking up right where you had left off a couple weeks ago when the two of you watched Sample.

Walking back to your apartment you held onto Adam's arm for warmth as the cool night air was pushing through. Adam of course didn't mind one bit enjoying your closeness no matter how warm his arm was getting. Your phone started to ring. Picking it up you see its Madi so you answer and all you hear is excited yelling. You stop walking releasing Adam's arm moving over to the side to be able to focus on what was being said. Adam watches you for a second then something or actually someone crossing the street catches his eye. Oblivious to what was going on around you too focused on Madi. "Madi stop freaking out I can't understand anything you are saying.", you can hear her take a deep breath. "Y/N I got the final callback. That means I either got the lead or understudy to the lead which is still really great.", you could feel her happiness through the phone. She started talking but you were distracted when you noticed Adam wasn't right next to you anymore. Your eyes searched around finding him in the middle of the sidewalk talking to a familiar looking woman. She had long blonde hair with a carefree look about her. The way she looked at Adam made your chest heavy. Madi called your name which brought you back to the conversation you say, "Madi Im am so happy. This weekend we will celebrate! I'll be home in a little bit." The two of you say goodbye and hang up then you make your way over to Adam.

As you were talking on the phone, Adam's eyes caught the one person he had definitely not planned on seeing tonight, Jessa. He watched as she crossed the street walking straight for him. Never in a million year did he think you and Jessa would ever be this close to each other let alone possibly meet. Trying to prevent that he walked over to meet her hoping that the conversation you were engaged in was too important to notice. Jessa's face lit up with excitement and a big smile saying, "Adam oh my god I was wondering when I was going to run into you." His anxiety started rising as he nervously stuffed his hands into his pockets. "Jessa what are you doing here?". "I'm just going to get dinner. I got out of rehab a couple days ago.", she said hopeful. His eyes looked her over quickly noticing she looked healthy. "Well I'm glad you're doing better.", and before he could finish his sentence he noticed you had stepped next to him. He was so focused on getting to Jessa before she got to you he didn't even notice you get off the phone. His body tensed at the stressful situation. He watched as Jessa's eyes started to size you up.

You noticed how tense and rigid Adam was, so you slipped your hand back around his arm. He immediately started to relax. Trying to be nice but cautious of what was going on you give a kind smile saying, "Hi, Im Y/N." The women started to talk and you noticed the unique accent, "Hi, Jessa." That heaviness in your chest became even heavier as you realized who she was. _Adam's ex that you knew nothing about. The women that everyone you meet ask you about. The women that left him and ran away. Inseparable was the word people used to describe them. If they weren't together anymore why is he acting so stressed? Why hasn't he said anything about her?_ Adam was freaking out on the inside and just wanted to run away. He spoke up quickly, "uhh yeah we got to go, good to see you Jessa." As the two of you start to walk away you watched as if it was in slow motion. Jessa lifted her hand resting it on his arm, "We'll need to catch up soon." Adam didn't say anything just kept moving trying not to make a big deal out of nothing in his mind.

He braced himself for an overload of questions from you but there was nothing. You were quiet as you held on to him as the two of you walked to your apartment. Your mind was racing, your anxiety and doubt started to take over your thought process. _What am I doing? She seems perfect. He probably still cares about her. Why did she touch him? Why did she look at him like that? Adam is too good for me. There is no way things are going to last. What are we? Why me?_

Both of you walk together in silence wondering what the other was thinking, but neither of you had the courage to say anything. The two of you acting as if nothing was happening like not saying anything would hide the issue.


	18. Chapter 18

Adam was sitting in Anne's office waiting for her to come in. He rushed over when she called him to come in and talk. His mind started racing thinking the worst was here to come. He just knew he screwed something up and she was going to drop him. Nerves started to set in and he couldn't sit still leg shaking as he rubbed his hands together. Anne finally came rushing in, "Adam, I'm so sorry for the wait. No matter what I did I couldn't get out of that meeting." She sets her stuff down and looks him over noticing how stressed he was. Adam was about to burst, "What did I do? I can fix it." Anne gave him a reassuring smile moving around her desk to stand in front of him placing a hand on his shoulder. His big worried eyes looked at her and she spoke, "you didn't do anything. Everything is fine. I just need to talk to you about somethings going on." Adam takes a deep breath and leans back into his chair as the stress drips off.

Anne moved back around and sat at her desk getting ready to explain. "So Adam I've seen a couple preview episodes of the Tv series you just wrapped and I want to say you were amazing and the production is already looking at setting up a season two if you are up to it?". Adam was too quick to answer, "Yes I'd love to do the next season.", which was completely honest he absolutely enjoyed his experience on that set. She continued with her kind motherly tone, "Now remember you were supposed to start previews for that play." He nods and she keeps on, "well it lost its funding so it won't be happening. However, the head of casting was so impressed with your screentest that they passed them along to a friend who was working on another play and they are very interested in you." Adam was shocked that his screentest was that good to be passed around among important people. He was almost speechless, "uhh what is it about?". Rustling through a couple of papers on her desk she starts to read, "Ultimately a love story between a man and a woman who became unlikely friends. They are still workshopping a few things. Hoping to find the leads and kind of shape the story around the actors a bit.". Adam listened intently and he was interested, "What do I need to do?". She started to get some papers together and said, "they want you to film yourself with a screen partner going through a couple of these scenes," she hands him the papers, "also just so you know there will be singing. It's not a musical but there will be songs that the actors sing." His eyes shot up to meet hers, "Anne I don't sing." She gives him a look like he knew better than that, "have you ever sung?". Leaning his head back letting out, "uhhh yeah a little but I just. I don't know." She gives him a look of are you kidding me, "Adam film the scenes and send them in. It doesn't matter. You will either get it or not. Then we move on from there. You are a great actor with great range, do something a little unexpected that's what productions like to see with their Actors." He looks back at her and thanks her for everything and leaves the office. On his way home he was reading through the scenes Anne gave him as well as the songs. The more he thought about it there was only one person he could count on to help him prepare for this. The only thing that worried him was how would he convince you to be his scene partner. That was going to be the biggest hurdle to jump over.

Your day had gone by quickly and so was choir rehearsals. "Remember guys I know it's tricky to know when to come in for the next song, but listen and count the beats as Mr. Miller plays the piano. Also please keep your sheet music in front of you. I should not see it flapping in the wind like a flag.", you quickly instruct. Jaxon stands up and walks in front of the risers to address the students, "alright everyone please listen we are getting close to the concert so I need you guys to sing these songs at home and make sure you know the words. Mrs.Y/Lastname and I will be ready to start sheet less practices soon so get those words down. See you all tomorrow, now get out of here." All the students practically run down the risers grabbing their stuff and heading out of the door. You start picking stuff up when your phone chimes. Picking it up there was a text from Adam. A small smile curls on your lips when you read, "Come over when you're done. I need your help with something." Quickly you reply, "finishing up. Be over in a little bit." The last couple of kids make their way out of the choir room everyone shouting, "Goodbye".

It was just Jaxon and you left in the choir room. You were picking up sheet music papers off the floor that was left behind by the students who kept playing with them. Instead of getting irritated you set them in the lost papers bin knowing the students will come up tomorrow saying they lost them. You smiled at how predictable kids were. Jaxon was cleaning up the piano that was covered in papers, notes, and miscellaneous items it had gathered throughout the day. He tries to pack his arms with everything and nearly dumps it all on the floor. Rushing over you grab what's sticking wildly out saying, "I can help you know." He lets out a laugh saying, "Oh I forgot.". The two of you carefully place everything on his desk making sure nothing will spill. You ask, "Is there anything else you need to do before you go? I can help.". Turning his head he scans the room, "No its good. I can do stuff tomorrow when I come in." You give him a grin and start to grab your things, "Well I guess i'll see you tomorrow then." Turning to head towards the door you hear Jaxon speak up. "Hey Y/N." Looking back you notice he was walking over to meet you, "Yeah." He stops about arms length away, "I just want to thank you again for helping. Really it's great having you here. I really like having you here.". His words were kind and you did appreciate them but complements always made you a little anxious. Instantly you were trying to brush it off, "oh really it's no problem. I like to help and I love the choir.". He steps a little closer resting his hand on your arm, "I mean it thank you. Hey I was thinking, Do you wanna go get dinner?" His question threw you off a little because Jaxon and you hadn't ever really hung out outside of a school setting. You then realized his hand was still on your arm and you smile saying, "Oh i'm sorry Jaxon I already have plans tonight, but another time maybe." His arm slowly slips away saying, "oh yeah no problem. I'll hold you to that." He starts to head back to grab his stuff. You get to the door and look back saying, "see you tomorrow, bye."

Leaving work you step outside of the building and you stand for a couple minutes to make sure the leftover students got picked up. Once the last one was gone you started walking towards Adam's apartment. You slipped your headphones in letting Billy Joel play. After a long day and a good walk you finally made it to Adam's apartment. You buzz for the door and he immediately let you in. Making it up the stairs you get to his door which was already open waiting for you. You walked in and set your stuff down on his table looking around. You didn't see him so you called out, "Adam I'm here." A second goes by and you hear him, "Okay just a minute.". You take a few steps back closing his door then follow his voice into his bedroom. Turning into the doorway you find him fixing the rack in his closet you say playfully, "I hope this isn't what you needed my help with." He looks up at you with a grin, "Come here and hold this." Rolling your eyes you do what he asks, stepping into his closet with his muscular arms above your head. You reach up and replace his hands with yours. "I just gotta screw these in." he tells you as he starts to grab his tools. Your eyes watch as his arms pulse and muscles twitch as he grips the screwdriver and twists the screws in. Adam noticed your stare and looked down at you. Eyes locked on each other for a moment till he focused back to tighten the last screw. "Done" he says looking down at you as you let go. He stood there for a minute to make sure the rack was going to stay up. Shaking it for good measure it seemed to work. His eyes meet you again with that playful look. "What?" you asked, trying to see what he was up to. He just kept looking at you still in his tiny closet as his big frame took up pretty much all the space. "Did you ever play 7 minutes in heaven?", he asked while he closed the space between the two of you, his hands resting on your waist. Your skin starts to heat up just by his simple touch. Answering him , "Yeah a couple times.". Leaning down getting closer to you and pulling you a little tighter, "How was it?." You couldn't help the smirk that broke out across your lips, "Some were better than others. I'm sure you were dying to get into a locked closet with a girl.". His strong nose was brushing against yours as he said, "Well when you're the best it's what's expected of you. "Wrapping your arms around him leaning back just enough to look at him, "Are you sure you were the best?". His eyes got a little darker and narrowed as he considered your question, "Oh I was the best." You give him the yeah sure if you say so look as you tilt your head slightly. "I'll show you." he said in a low tone as his large hand moves down your hips pulling you tighter against him feeling his length hardening against you.

Letting out a soft breath and looking into his eyes, "Tell me the steps. Explain why you were so good." Adam smirked and got a little harder, "Well I'd start with moving this piece of hair behind your ear and leave my hand on your cheek." Slightly nodding your head, "that's a good start." Leaning down very close to your face, lips barely brushing, "then id pull you in like this and kiss the shit out of you." Just before he could press his lips against yours you moved, feeling his lips hit the outline of your jaw saying, "Tell me what you will do while you're kissing the shit out of me." lips on your jaw you felt his warm breath tickle your skin as he let out a soft hum. "I would grab your ass like this.", his large hand smoothly runs down over your left cheek and grasps just right. Head tilted back slightly you say, "What else?." He lets out an amused sound, "then I would sneak this hand under your shirt like this." Easily he had the hem of your shirt up slithering his other other hand up your bare back. Tingles were shooting through you. He pressed a few kisses on your exposed neck. Adam asked, "Did you ever fuck any of these guys in the closet." Just the fact that you knew he would ask this made you smile and look at him, "One, but not in the closet. Something tells me you definitely fucked in the closet.". A classic Sackler smile appeared saying, "Uhh most likely." Narrowing your eyes and taking a deep breath you were completely worked up and needed him, you say, "Wanna add me to the list."

He didn't even need to answer his dick did when it twitched against you. In a swift motion your back was pressed against the wall of his closet as he was in the doorway taking up every extra piece of free space. Thankfully the closet was empty due to Adam fixing the rack or all of this would have been impossible. Quickly both of you were meeting each other halfway lips crashing and tongues twisting together. Both your hands are exploring his muscular frame till you tangle a few fingers in his hair tugging slightly. Adam growls lowly and nips at your bottom lip causing you to release a soft whimper. His hands start to undo your top as he moves his kiss down hitting your neck and now exposed chest dropping your top to the floor. Adam moves his hands down the sides of your body like he was memorizing your curves stopping at your jeans gripping the waistband and your panties tugging them down. His motion caused your breath to hitch as you felt your wetness building. You step out of the clothes tossing them to the side. He slips his tshirt off as your arms immediately grasp his shoulders pulling him close to you. Both of you react breathing heavily in response to each other's touch. He peppers kisses down your chest and stomach till he stops at your core. Tapping the inside of your thigh he says, "Open up.", his voice low and dark. It sent heat through your core to your face. Spreading your legs enough for him Adam bends down and instantly runs two fingers over your folds opening you up. A moan leaves your lips as you feel him brush against your nub, "Look how wet you are. Fuck I love it." You press against the wall the best you could to steady yourself as he starts to lick you up as his nose rubs into you. Another moan leaves you as Adam draws you closer as your pleasure builds. One of your hands tangles in his hair and he hums sending a wave of vibration through you. The more he worked at you the closer you got, "Adam fuck.", he knew you were close and didn't stop. Grabbing onto your thighs he was determined to finish you right there on his face. A few more quick motions and he had sent you over, "Shit Adam, mhhmmm." Eyes shutting pleasure rolled through your stomach.

A moment goes by catching your breath you watch as Adam stands up in front of you and wipes your juices with the back of his hand. Seeing that sent a pulse through your core. Grabbing him you slam your lips into his tongue tasting what was left of you. Adam lets out a growly "fuck" at this fact pressing you into the wall even more. Your hands moved down his broad chest fiddling with his pants to get them open. Slipping a hand in you feel the slick precum and start to stroke him. He let out a breathy moan into your mouth responding to your perfect touch. A couple more strokes he had enough he needed to be inside of you. Adam replaces your hands with his pulling himself free, "Hold on to the rack. If it feels loose grab onto me." You giggle a little and excitedly grab the closet rack above your head. He grabs your hips hoisting you up immediately wrapping your legs around him as he lines his length up with your entrance. You both gasp as he pulls you onto him. Your grip tightens around the rack and so does his grip on your hips. He shifts into the doorway to get better leverage as he starts to pick a rhythm. Moans and heavy breaths are exchanged as both of you move together. "Im the only one to fuck you in a closet.", he blurted out as his rhythm picked up. Your head rolls back at his words you feel your pleasure building again, "fuck yes", was all you could get out. The more the two of you moved together you felt him twitch inside of you he was getting there. One of your arms drops from above your head and Adam just watches you. Your hand slips behind you and unhooks your bra letting it slip off of that arm. Switching your grips you let the strap slip off and drop to the floor leaving you fully exposed and bouncing perfectly for Adam. "Fuck Y/N", he started thrusting and gripping you harder. "Yes, Adam, harder faster.", you almost screamed as the force of him was hitting you just right and he complied. Your hands gripped tightly around the closet rack, your knuckles were white. A few more times pounding into you and Adam was so close when he felt you tighten, "Fucking look at me.", your head rolled back to meet his eyes. "Fucking look at me when you cum.", he grunted out as he slammed into you. Eyes locked. That's when it hit you like a truck. Your mouth dropped open, eyes fluttered but you didn't look away, legs tightened and spasmed around him, as various words and sounds came out of you. Adam was right there with you. He spilled himself inside of you, his eyes never broke away, he vigorously moved both of you through your climaxes, sweat beaded on his chest and forehead, and you knew you would have little bruises on your hips from his grip and you didn't care.

Your arms were spent dropping them, you wrapped them around Adam. He held you against the wall for a few moments as the two of you tried to recuperate. Not letting go you felt him slip out of you and move carrying you with him. He carefully walked over towards his bed laying the two of you down neither of you were ready to disconnect. It was like the two of you were fused together not wanting to let each other go.

After a while the two of you started to shift and Adam wanted to look at you. He just stared at you taking in your afterglow that he likes so much. Taking in the fact you asked him to fuck you in his closet. The longer he stared at you nerves started to build in your chest. To cover up you decide to play it off, "We almost broke the rack you just fixed." He let out a small laugh laying back on the bed, "It didn't though so now we just have to keep trying till it does break." You give him a playful hit to arm. Adam's response was just to wrap around you tightly rolling on top of you making you laugh from the pressure and try to squirm away. He realized how much he loved hearing you laugh because it was so light and airy without being annoying, just perfectly genuine to you.

After a minute you had enough but still laughing, "Adam stop." He rolled over bringing you on top of his chest. You admired his perfectly speckled freckles across his chest then looked up at him, "What did you need my help with? I'm pretty sure it wasn't to fix your closet." He chuckled a little meeting your eyes, "No it wasn't. The play I was about to start lost funding so it's over." You observed him for a second for a reaction he didn't, "I'm sorry Adam, I know you can get something else." He smiled at your support, "Well yeah i've been sort of offered a role, but they want me to film myself going through a couple scenes to see if i'm a good fit." You got excited for him, "see that's great.". He kept explaining, "yeah I guess but they want me to sing and I just don't know about it.". You were confused for a second at why Adam would think he couldn't do this because you knew he was incredibly talented. Then you realized that he was telling you this because he trusted you to help him.

Adam watched you work through his words scrunching your eyebrows just a little. He went to say something but you cut him off, "Adam of course i'll help you.". Letting out a deep breath you can see a little worry wash away, but there was something else. "They want me to get a scene partner.", he looks at you and his eyes widen a little. "Uhhm okay. Do you want me to ask Madison. I'm sure she wouldn't mind helping you.". He tilts his head, "Uhh no I was hoping you would do it."

You were frozen by his words not knowing what to say or do other than roll over onto your back and stare at the ceiling. A million things were running through your mind. _There was not a single reason in the world why I should be his scene partner. I haven't acted in years. This was basically an audition to further his career. All I would do is fuck it up._ Adam could tell you were freaking out in your head so he called you back, "Y/N look at me." Waiting a few seconds you did as he asked and locked your anxious eyes on his. "Adam I can't. I can help you with the singing, but I haven't acted in years. I don't want to mess it up for you." He carefully listened to you, "I'm asking you because I know you can do this. Plus if I don't get the role it's because of me not you. I am the one auditioning.". Just by his calm tone and words your worries started to ease away bit by bit, "how many scenes?". He smirked, "2 straight scenes and 2 from the musical Waitress." Adam watched your reaction and could have sworn he saw a glimmer of excitement flicker in your eyes. You had never seen Waitress, but you knew the story and music and it was one of your favorites. Memories of when you had helped Madi run lines and practiced songs during auditions when it debuted flooded your mind.

You sit up hoping it would help you think it through. Adam enjoyed watching your mind work. "When do you have to send it in?". He answers quickly anticipating your final answer, "they want it by the end of next week.". You were quiet for a moment then you looked back at him over your shoulder, "fine. I'll do it, but I have a rule.". That handsome Sackler smile was huge on his lips as he said, "Yeah anything.". Turning slightly to fully see him you say, "you can't let your big actor ego get mad at me when I fucking suck at being your scene partner." Adam didn't respond right away because your words stung for a moment. He knew you didn't say them to hurt him, but a tinge of anger flared in his chest as he remembered your confession the night the two of you met all those months ago. He remembered the pain that flashed in your eyes when you explained why you didn't perform anymore, and it hurt him to see its lasting effect on you.

His large arm encircled around you basically making you melt into him from the pressure of the serious moment. You slip back into that special mold that was made for you in his arms. He starts to stroke his fingers up and down your arm that was wrapped around him. He took a deep breath, "Y/N, I would never. Thank you for helping me." You take a deep breath calming the rest of your nerves, "I'll always help you.". Adam smiled knowing that was one of the truest most honest statements you had ever said. Replying, "I know."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for reading my story so far.   
> This is my first fic ever to write so I am still learning.  
> This story is finally up to date. I try my best to update every week, but you all know how life gets some times. 
> 
> Also If you'd like I also have an ongoing Kylo Ren X Reader AU Spy story titled Compromised. It's spicy check it out!  
> Love, Liz
> 
> P.S. Both stories are on Wattpad user lizziesolofics  
> Follow my tiktok @lizziesolofics for chapter updates and aesthetics.


	19. Chapter 19

This was the busiest you had ever been. Between work, choir rehearsals, a couple voices lessons, and then helping Adam with his audition tape you had no time. Everything blended into the next feeling like you were living the movie Groundhog day. Waking up dealing with work all day then when that was over you head straight to the choir room for rehearsals or your voices lessons. You spend a couple hours preparing, rehearsing/teaching, and cleaning up then you head home to learn your lines. Adam reassured you that your performance didn't matter he just needed someone to go through the motions with. You listened to him but you also wanted to do your best for him because you wanted him to get this job, and was so afraid you would be the reason he wouldn't. A sense of relief washed over you when Adam gave you copies of the scenes. The two straight scenes werefrom the iconic films When Harry Met Sally when they are discussing how men and women can't be friends. Then the other was from Moonstruck when Ronny and Lorretta walked home from the Opera. You knew these two movies like the back of your hand.

The hard work came when you were learning the two songs from Waitress Bad Idea and You Matter to Me. Adam was counting on you a lot because he didn't feel comfortable just learning the words and singing. He wanted you to teach him how to sing it properly and seem like he knew what he was doing. The pressure was building and you wanted to be able to help him the best you could because that's what you do. You had to learn the timing, both lyrics, both harmonies, key and pitch for Adam, and how to teach them to him. Luckily the songs were ones you were semi familiar with, but it's still a lot to learn in a short amount of time.

Monday and Tuesday night was spent running lines and listening to the two songs on a constant loop. Adam was enraptured when he saw how prepared you were. You would come into his or your apartment humming one of the songs as you unpacked your bag laying out sheet music and small singing charts you had printed off at work. Before anything you would take a few minutes and read through the few pages of scripts concentrating on the words and their meanings. Adam loved the way you would get lost in thought and mindlessly pace in the room. He didn't have much to do throughout the day at the moment. This was the only thing he was working on so it was easy for him to get his lines down. However, he was a little amazed that you would take this on with everything else you had going on in your life. Something about doing this together seemed intimate in a way the two of you hadn't been before.

Wednesday came and it was already a rough start you were rushing out of the door for work after oversleeping from being up so late trying to memorize one of the songs. Madi had to come in and wake you up because your alarm was blaring through the apartment while you just slept peacefully ignoring it. Finally making it into school just in time to drop your stuff off in your office and get started for the day. Picking up your material you head down the hall when you hear, "Ms. L/N." Quickly you turn to find the voice noticing Jaxon catching up with you. "Morning Jaxon, how are you?". He gave you a handsome smile saying, "I'm good. Where were you this morning?" Nonchalantly shrugged your shoulders answering, "Overslept. Been helping a friend with an audition." He gave you a concerned look, " You've been really busy lately." Taking a moment to think about it, "Yeah i've had a lot going on." He stops you by placing a hand on your forearm. Slightly turning to catch his eye and slow your steps. His stare softens, "don't give too much of yourself. People take advantage of it." It wasn't the words themselve that bothered you, but it was the fact that he felt like he had to say it. Jaxon and you had been friends for a while now and have become semi close in a work sense, but at that moment it seemed like he had another meaning behind his words. Your exhausted eyes narrow to try to read the situation not sure how to respond. He was quick to replace the silence, "I just don't want my friend to get caught up in something and get burned out. If you need anything let me know i'd love to help." Jaxon turned and started to walk away as he wished you a good day and that he would see you later at choir rehearsal. His words rattled around your brain as you refocus your day's agenda.

The rest of your day couldn't go any slower mostly because you were so tired. Most of your student's lessons went on without a hitch, but one was a special education student who was just over-simulated and would not focus on anything. At some point you realize nothing was going to help them other than getting that energy out, so you let them play and draw on your white board. Once the day is over you head into the choir room to prepare for rehearsal as all the student's start to file in and get settled. You talk and joke with the kids making sure they were ready to start. Quizzing them on the songs and the words. It was a fun game you had started at the beginning of rehearsals to get everyone ready for warm ups. Jaxon comes in and the class erupts into a loud "Hi Mr. Miller!". He indulges everyone by taking a few bows saying, "hello yes I am here let's get started." Setting his stuff down he goes over to the piano and starts to play the tune of Do-Re-Mi from The Sound of Music. As Jaxon plays through the set of songs you work with arranging students for the best sound, helping signal for timing, giving breath reminders, as well as helping the student's work on their solos. After rehearsals you didn't stick around because you were supposed to meet Adam at your apartment to start filming. However, you had to stop at the store to grab a few things first.

Not feeling like walking, you took the subway listening to Sara Bareilles' Waitress Album. Getting off and mingling through the streets you stop at the corner store checking your small list coffee, milk, and cereal because Adam keeps eating it all. Walking up and down the aisles grabbing a carton of milk, a bag of ground coffee, then stopping to look at the cereal selection. A moment goes by and you're still trying to decide which one you want to get when you notice someone joining you on the aisle. You hear a soft unique voice, "Y/N? Is that right?".Head turning to see who it was chest instantly tightening as you saw her.

Jessa was standing there in an effortlessly gorgeous bohemian style outfit that complemented her long blond hair. Surprised that she remembered who you were from a while back you simply say, "yes it is. Nice to see you again Jessa." She has a curious smirk, "yeah same. Where's Adam?" Trying not to be fazed by the fact she's asking about him already you say, "I'm just picking some stuff up then meeting him later." She steps a little closer and you glance down at her little basket she had in her hands just filled with a variety of things that didn't really make sense together, but to be honest something about her didn't either. "Oh. Yeah well please tell him that it was so good seeing him the other day." This conversation was feeling a little too strange for your taste, so you decide to grab the Puffins cereal and start down the aisle towards the checkout, "Yeah of course i'll let him know." Her smirk grows a little bigger, "also please thank him for me. I really enjoyed our talks and visits over the last couple of months. They really meant a lot to me." You froze in place your mind racing. When did he visit her? Why would he visit her? What did they have to talk about? Why didn't I know they were seeing each other? Looking back at her you go to say something but she cuts you off, "he really does mean the world to me. I'll see you around." Then she was gone. You check out completely confused as anxiety and worry creep through your veins. As you make your way home, images of how the two of them spoke to each other that night while you were on the phone shuffled through your memory. Doubt weighted heavy on your chest.

Getting into your apartment Adam was already there with Peter setting up the camera. You lay the bag of stuff you just bought on the counter and head straight to your room. Adam watched you come in without saying a word and going straight to your room. He knew right away something was off. He followed behind you knocking lightly before coming in your door that wasn't completely shut. Stepping in he said, "hey you okay?" When you came in you had dropped your work bags in the middle of the floor and flopped on your bed. Rolling over you watch him walk over towards you with his massive frame towering over you. Looking up at him you answer, "Yeah just a really long day." He was mindlessly fidgeting with your pants pockets as he says, "We can do this tomorrow if this is.." You cut him off sitting up eye level with his chest, "It's not too much. I promised to help you so that's what i'm going to do." His concerned look was replaced with a big smile, "okay if you're sure?" You grinned and laid back down, "I just need like 10 minutes to chill before we start." Adam just watched you for a few seconds. Something was still off something you weren't telling him, but he didn't want to assume something of you. Looking back at him you say, "you could just stand there and watch or you can join me?" instantly he was crushing you with his weight laying ontop of you. You groan and laugh at the same time trying to push him off but there was no progress till he finally rolled over and brought you with him. The two of you just laid there not speaking. Adam couldn't remember the last time he just laid with someone for no other reason but to lay there and it felt nice, safe, and stress free. You laid there letting the day's events clear your mind. It always seemed strange to you how at ease Adam made you feel by just simple being there. It was probably because you had never had someone just there for you but still it was something you were scared of losing, and that's why you didn't say a word to him about seeing Jessa. You just wanted to pretend in the moment that there was nothing to worry about.

After a few minutes you hear Peter in your doorway saying, "hey you two there is no sleeping on the job."You roll your eyes and answer, "kiss my ass Peter."He laughed and yelled as he walked down the hall, "Let's go!" Adam laughed and rolled back on top of you only slightly crushing this time and with a playful smirk, "I'll kiss your ass." You felt your face heat up matching his playful expression, "oh really you will." He nuzzles his head into your chest and moves his hands down your body and grasps your ass, "oh i'd devour this ass." his warm breath against your chest was sending tingles of pleasure though your body.The two of you just press against each other for a moment then you say, "Well you'd have to devour this ass another time because you have an audition to do." Adam's grip around you tightens then releases as he lets out a "uh shit your right. Fine." The two of you gather yourselves and get ready to film. Just simply spending a few minutes with Adam your spirits were already reversed and mind clear ready to do your best for him with this audition tape.

First scene:

When Harry Met Sally- Men and Women can't be friends?

After doing a simple read through you felt confident you knew your lines. You remembered something from college your theater teacher told you. "This scene was portrayed by these actors in this particular performance. Now I want you to portray this scene in this particular performance." Adam and you had just filmed a quick run through now it was time for a real take. Taking a deep breath you were surprisingly at ease and ready.

You: We are just going to be friends, ok?

Adam: Great!Friends!It's the best thing... You realize of course that we can never be friends.

You: Why not?

Adam: What I'm saying is... and this is not a come-on in any way, shape or form, is that men and women can't be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.

You: That's not true, I have a number of men friends and there's is no sex involved.

Adam: No you don't. 

You: Yes, I do.

Adam: No you don't.

You: Yes, I do.

Adam: You only think you do.

You: You're saying I'm having sex with these men without my knowledge?

Adam: No, what I'm saying is they all want to have sex with you.

You: They do not.

Adam: Do too.

You: They do not. 

Adam: Do too.

You: How do you know?

Adam: Because no man can be friends with a woman he finds attractive, he always wants to have sex with her.

You: So you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive.

Adam: Nuh, you pretty much wanna nail'em too.

You: What if they don't want to have sex with you?

Adam: Doesn't matter, because the sex thing is already out there so the friendship is ultimately doomed and that is the end of the story.

You: Well I guess we're not going to be friends then.

Adam: Guess not.

You: That's too bad you were going to be the only person I knew in New York.

The scene ends and Peter stops recording on the camera that was set up in your living room. You felt really good about how it went, not messing up, and was able to remember all of your lines. Also you thought Adam's natural subtle self awareness and confidence really brought out the importance of his characters' points. You looked over at Adam and asked, "How do you feel about that. We can do it again if you want." Adam didn't say anything for a moment just thinking. He knew you had done some acting in the past, but seeing it up close like this was like getting a brand new glimpse at who you were. Once you said the first line you had effortlessly drawn him in with the tone of your voice and the way you tilted your head to convince him the two of you were friends. He was able to bounce off of your energy to create his characters' conversational points. Adam was shocked at how your eyes changed throughout the dialogue from disbelief, innocence, and then annoyed. You kept surprising him no matter how comfortable he got. "Uhm no I felt really good about that one.", he gave you an almost shy smile. "If you're sure okay.", you meet his eyes trying to read him. Quickly he walked past you smacking your ass with his rolled up scene papers saying, "let's do one of the songs." instantly you blushed by the open affection following behind composing yourself and getting ready for what was next.

First Song:

Bad Idea- Sara Bareilles What's inside: Songs from Waitress

The two of you probably went through the song a thousand times. Explaining that the song was about a woman who was starting a problematic relationship with her doctor. Adam kept complaining about how he didn't understand how to time his breaths with the breaks and pauses in the song even though you had explained it fifty times already. However, you were pleasantly surprised at how well he was able to harmonize with you and you with him. Honestly you got a little giddy thinking about how well your two tones complemented each other. Adam could see the excitement oozing out of you and decided he was going to have fun. He decided that since it was a song from a musical he was going to move and act out the song as he sings. You gave him a playful smirk and decided if this is how he was going to be you'd join in his fun. Both of you were lost in your own little world practicing almost completely forgetting that Peter was there to film. Adam gives him the cue and he hits the record button.

A: I've got a wife

Y: I've got a husband

A: I'm your doctor

Y: My dumb baby's coming

Both: It's a bad idea me and you

Maybe one more kiss will make us come to

Chorus:

Both: Heart stop racing let's face it making mistakes like this

Will make worse what was already pretty bad

Mind stop running it's time we just let this thing go

It was a pretty good bad idea

Wasn't it though

Bridge:

Both: I know what's right for me

It's the only thing I've ever done

What if I never see

Myself ever be anything more than what I've already become

I need a bad idea

I need a bad idea

I need a bad idea

I need a bad idea

Just one

Chorus:

Both: Heart keep racing let's make mistakes let us say so what

And make worse what was already pretty bad

This secret is safe

No reason to throw it away

When there's love to be had

Hold me tight as I tell myself that you might make sense

And make good what has been just so bad

Let's see this through

It's a pretty good bad idea

Me and you

At this point you were out of breath and you could feel your vocal cords straining from using them so much more than usual. Adam calls it for the night and the two of you agree to finish up the rest tomorrow.

Thursday came and went just like the days before with work and choir rehearsals. However something about helping Adam film his audition last night gave you a little confidence boost.You hadn't realized how much you missed acting and how easy it was to get sucked into that world. Making your way home as you mentally went through the scenes you were finishingfilming tonight your chest tightened a little. They weren't just some funny banter or a song about an affair with your doctor. They were deep and that was always something you avoided.

Like the night before Adam and Peter were already there setting things up, but to your surprise so was Madi. Instantly seeing your best friend helped lighten your mood. She was excited to watch you even though you were not the one auditioning. Her support was always something you could count on and you loved her for it. The four of you chatted and laughed for a few minutes till Adam looked at you. His eyes seemed different but you couldn't put your finger on it. Adam took a deep breath because he was a little nervous to do these scenes with you as well. "You ready?" he asked almost shyly. You gave a reassuring smile not just for him but for yourself too answering, "Yeah let's do it."

Second Scene:

Moonstruck- After the Opera

A: What's the matter?

Y: How can you ask me that?

A: You're making me feel guilty again.

Y: You are guilty. I'm guilty.

A: Of what? Only God can point the finger, Loretta.

Y: I know what I know.

A: And what do you know? You tell me my life? I'll tell you yours. I'm a wolf? You run to the wolf in me, that don't make you no lamb! You're gonna marry my brother? Why do you wanna sell your life short? Playing it safe is just about the most dangerous thing a woman like you could do. You waited for the right man the first time, why didn't you wait for the right man again?

Y: He didn't come.

A: I'm here

Y: You're late!

A: We're here

Y: This is your place.

A: That's right.

Y: This is where we're going!

A: Yeah

Y: The deal was if I came to the Opera with you you'd leave me alone forever.

A: (No response)

Y: I went with you.

(pause, nothing)

Now I'm gonna marry Johnny and you're gonna leave me alone.

(pause, nothing)

Right?

(pause, nothing)

A person can see where they've messed up in their life, and they can change how they do things, and they can change their Luck. Maybe my nature does draw me to you, but I don't have to go with that. I can take hold of myself and say yes to some things and no to something that's just gonna ruin everything! I can do that. Otherwise, what good is this stupid life that God gave us for what?

(pause, nothing)

Are you listening to me?

A: Yeah, I don't know. Everything seems like nothing now against that I want you in my bed. I don't care if I burn in hell. I don't care if you burn in hell. The Past and Future is a joke to me now. I see that they're nothing, I see they ain't here. The only thing that's here is you. And me.

Y: I wanna go home.

A: no

Y: I'm gonna go home.

A: no

Y: it's freezing out here

A: Come upstairs. I don't care why you come. No, that's not what I mean. Loretta, I love you. Not like they told you love is and I didn't know this either. But love don't make things nice, it ruins everything, it breaks your heart, it makes things a mess. We're not here to make things perfect. Snowflakes are perfect. The stars are perfect. Not us. We are here to ruin ourselves and break our hearts and love the wrong people and die! The storybooks are bullshit. Now come upstairs with me and get in my bed!

Come on!

Come on.

Come on.

(Adam outstretched his hand)

Y: (with a single tear you take his hand in yours)

The entire apartment was dead silent as the two of you just stood there hands still clasped around the other. Both of you lost in the other completely being consumed by the weight of the words that was just said. The two of you knew that these words were just from a movie, but there was a good amount of truth behind them. As well as the ease that they fell off each of your lips. Madi and Peter just watched as if they were seeing a magnificent piece of art being revealed for the first time. Peter clicked the stop recording button and turned to Madi and they both mouthed at the same time, "Wow."Another moment of silence goes by and Peter clears his throat, "Uhm how do you feel? Do you want to do it again?" Adam didn't break his eyes and focus on you saying, "No that was perfect." Suddenly you realized you were lost in the moment and your cheeks blush and your eyes break away, but Adam doesn't let go of your hand. Madi sensing your embarrassment trying to help bring back the focus of the night, "That was so great. What else do you have left." Adam finally faces forward saying, "Yeah she is. We still have a song." Your head spins to face him again completely astounded by the few simple words he said about you. In the moment you felt like you were finally able to let some of your walls and guards down to truly appreciate the amazing person Adam Sackler was.

After taking a little break to make the heaviness in the air lighter the two of you discuss the last song. You remind him that if he stays on the right key and keeps his time that he will be perfect. Humming the tune to yourself to make sure you had the melody down. Adam couldn't stop staring at you. It was like last night when the two of you did the first scene, he was amazed by your hidden talents. A talent you didn't share with people, but you took the time to help and share it with him. The way Adam looked at you made your stomach flutter with nerves. You had done so well up to this point all you had to do was get through this last song and you would be done. Wanting to get it over with you ask, "you ready?" He gives you a small grin, "Yeah." Both of you couldn't take your eyes off the other. Madi and Peter settled in because they knew this was going to be good.

Second Song:

You Matter to Me- Sara Bareilles What's inside: Songs from Waitress

Adam:I could find the whole meaning of life in those sad eyes

They've seen things that you never quite say but I hear

Come out of hiding I'm right here beside you

And I'll stay there as long as you let me

Because you matter to me

Simple and plain and not much to ask from somebody

You matter to me

I promise you do, you

You matter too

I promise you do you'll see

You matter to me

You: It's addictive the minute you let yourself think

The things that I say just might matter to someone

All of this time I've been keeping my mind on the running away

And for the first time I think I'd consider the stay

Because you matter to me

Simple and plain and not much to ask from somebody

You matter to me

I promise you do, you

You matter too

I promise you do you'll see

You matter to me

Both:

And you matter to me

Simple and plain and not much to ask from somebody

You matter to me

Y: I promise you do, you

A: Come out of hiding I'm right here beside you

Y: You matter too

A: As long as you have me

Y: I promise you do

A: Come out of hiding I'm right here beside you

Y: You matter too

I promise you do, you

A: I do

Y: You matter too

A: Promise you do

You matter to me

Y: I promise you do

Both:

You'll see

You matter to me

As you were singing your nerves were trying to take over doing anything not to focus on Adam, but he wouldn't let your gaze go. It was like each word he sang was piercing through your barriers and insecurities you used to protect yourself. You were lost in him so lost you weren't sure where you began and he ended. Adam was in the same shape as you completely consumed with your ability to give so much of yourself without showing you ever needed anything in return. The way you so easily shattered every expectation and preconceived idea of what relationships ought to be. You were just in the moment there for him and he was just there in that moment for you and it's always been that way from the beginning.

You were feeling absolutely overwhelmed, Madi breaks the silence with an applause and Peter follows her lead. They both congratulate the both of you for a great audition. You reminded her you were just helping Adam and she rolled her eyes. "Adam if you don't get this part they are fools. You were great", Madi says. He wraps an arm around you pulling you next to him saying, "Well its all because of Y/N. I couldn't have done it without her.", he replies with a big smile. Peter chimes in, "yeah yeah you both were great, but I was promised food for this gig. Can we make that happen please." Everyone laughs and decides what takeout to get letting the nights shared experience dissipate.

After dinner Peter downloaded the videos to your laptop and you sent them to Adam. He asked if the two of you wanted to watch them back and in unison you both said, "No.". Madi gave you a huge hug whispering in your ear, "you did really good. I hope you keep this up.". Your grip around her tightened as a response to her words acknowledging their impact on you. Letting her go you turn back into the apartment it was just you and Adam.

He was cleaning up the mess from dinner. You decide to straighten up your living area where you used to film. Picking up papers, fixing your coffee table, shifting the blinds back to slightly open just enough to see the street like you like them, and then making sure the camera stuff was all put away you crashed onto the couch feeling exhaustion start to take over your body. A few moments go by and Adam joins you on the couch. You can feel his weight push down the cushions as well as his arm wrapping around you. It was a very similar position like the night you fell asleep watching Rear Window after he put together your bookshelf. Just like then you fit perfectly like a puzzle piece in his embrace. It was quiet but comfortable. Finally you had the courage to say something, "It was fun helping you with your audition tape." He looked down at you noticing your tired eyes, "thank you. I really couldn't have done it without you."You couldn't help the grin that came across your lips, "I told you I'd always help." He cozzied into the couch sticking his long legs up on the coffee table knowing you would fall asleep soon, but wanting to keep you right there with him. He placed a kiss on the top of your head, "I know. So am I." Your eyes shut and you turn into him even more letting the moment take over you drifted off into a deep sleep as Adam held you close.

While you slept Adam had pulled his phone out and found the email with the videos attached. One by one he played them. He absolutely hated watching himself, but he couldn't get enough of you. How easy it was for him to act with you the way you created an open connection between you and him. You used your eyes to express every state of mind or emotion and he loved it. Everything about you was special and unique and he loved it. He really loved it and he thought for a moment, he loved you.

Friday came early as your alarm rudely awoke you. Rolling over you stretched out slightly bumping into a sleeping Adam realizing you were in bed. A huge smile broke across your face knowing Adam put you to bed and joined you at some point during the night. You got up a little more chipper than usual. Something in the air seemed different, lighter almost. Quickly and quietly getting ready for work you get out on time. The work day went by nicely and smoothly. All of your students had great lessons and you were actually paying attention to the staff meeting that definitely could have just been an email. Your whole mood was completely different compared to the rest of the week. The only thing you could contribute it to was Adam. Every free moment throughout the day was filled with thoughts of him. The way he was able to ease your anxieties without even knowing he was. The way he looked at you while he was saying his lines last night made you feel special and seen. You found yourself playing back little moments the two of you had shared like his kiss, dancing with him, the way he wraps his arms around you, and how content you were with just his simple presence. That warm unfamiliar feeling washed over you as you were realizing it wasn't unfamiliar anymore. It was a consistent feeling that had been nagging at your brain's security system for a little too long now. Finally actually letting it enter your thought process your body tingled with a slight anxiety as well as an excited relief. Do I love Adam Sackler? I think I do.

Once school was over you had to do something with these overwhelming realizations. Whether you had the courage to talk to Adam about them or not you knew after last night you had to see him. You head straight to his apartment knowing he would have eventually gone back to his place after getting up and eating a bowl of your cereal. Walking up to his apartment you were able to catch the door. Making your way up the stairs you think of something funny that happened at work you just had to share with him. Reaching his door naturally you grab and twist the doorknob letting yourself in announcing, "Hey you won't believe what happened today. There was a kid who got an eraser stuck.." But you cut your own sentence off. Eyes assessing and watching everything unfold before you. Adam was sitting on his stool in front of his makeshift desk with Jessa's tight grip around his collar holding him close against her. You watch as their lips break apart from the other to look towards the door.

Stomach started to turn, pulse quickened with anger, and a flood of emotions started to overwhelm your senses. You were frozen trying and failing to rationalize this in your mind. Intrusive thoughts started to hound you. I knew something was off. She's better than you. This was nice while it lasted. I guess they are inseparable. What the fuck did you do wrong?

Finally your defense system kicked in fueled by your self destructive coping mechanism of shutting out and down. "I'm sorry to interrupt. It's good to see you again Jessa," your voice was cold and distant. Automatically turning back around leaving the same way you came.

Walking through the hallway you could hear commotion behind you and Adam's familiar heavy steps, but physically you couldn't stay. With every step everything inside of you ached feeling like you were leaving a piece of yourself behind, but you couldn't stop you had to get out of there.

"Y/N"

You kept walking.

"Y/N", he raised his voice. You stopped walking feeling empty trying to figure out where he found the audacity to follow you.

You composed yourself fighting against every muscle to show any amount of emotion. After a second you turn around.

Adam and you were face to face only a few feet apart, but it felt like you were miles away. It was silent and for the first time it wasn't comfortable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m already working on the next chapter! I hope you all are enjoying this story so far!   
> Love, Liz
> 
> Ps. I wanna shout out the writers for the movies When Harry Met Sally and Moonstruck. They are incredible scripts/movies that are so relatable and inspiring.   
> Also Sara Bareilles is an amazing song writer. The songs I used are from her 2015 What’s Inside: Songs from Waitress Album. I highly recommend.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone just want to thank you all for hanging in there with me for this long. 
> 
> Warning: I’m sorry! Just gonna tell you now it’s sad. We gotta lot to work through but we will get through it together.

Adam rolled over when he heard you leave early Friday morning. He rubbed his eyes and got up walking over towards the window peeping through the blinds. A huge grin spread across his lips as he watched you walk around your building joining people in the early morning busy street. He thought, I wonder what she’s listening to, as he watched you slip your headphones in and disappear around the corner.

He tossed himself back onto the bed mentally preparing for the day. His eyes caught the picture frame sitting on your nightstand. It was the one he gave you for Christmas. The thought that you liked it so much to put it there made him feel important special almost. Laying there in your bed without you he realized how much he hated that you had to leave so early. He wished to himself that you were still laying next to him sleeping. Adam imagined you fast asleep with your little hands tucked under your cheek and pillow as your baby hairs curled and fell in your face. By this point he had your breathing patterns memorized and could hear your breaths without you even being there to make them. He smirked at the thought of your cute soft snores. He would watch you and make sure you were comfortably tucked in getting all the sleep you needed. He loved watching you sleep completely relaxed unbothered by the world around you.

Adam just laid there for a while. Normally he would have gotten out of a girls empty apartment as quickly as possible not feeling comfortable in someone else's space. However, he felt completely comfortable at your place ever since you told him to put a record on that first night. He had been in many women’s apartments as well as lived in them, but there was something different about yours. Something that drew him in wanting him to stay and honestly he never wanted to leave. In a way it was similar to his everything you had was functional and purposeful while being minimalist. You weren't like any other woman he’d been with. Your styles and personality was influenced in everything while being completely your own, simple, and inviting. It was like you were still there with him even though you weren't and he felt comforted in that.

After a while his phone chimed with a text from Anne reminding him he had to turn in his audition tape. Immediately he texted back stating he was sending it now. Quietly whispering the steps of forwarding the email to himself he heard a swish sound indicating it went through. He took a deep breath hoping he got the part even though he wouldn't know for at least a week. Finally accepting he had to get up and start his day Adam begrudgingly gets ready to go throwing on his clothes from the day before and using the spare toothbrush you had left for him awhile back. Before he leaves he has to eat a bowl of cereal. He smiled, grabbing the box of Puffins knowing you had got them because he liked them, but also because he had eaten all of the box before. Eating about two bowls he made a mental note to get you some more. He cleaned his bowl and put it away and made his way out setting off for the day.

The day went by fast as Adam got his daily to do list done. After running some errands he stopped by to visit Caroline and Sample to check in with them. He had been so busy with filming and post production stuff that he hadn’t seen them since he watched Sample with you that weekend. Pure happiness settled into his spirit remembering how helpful you were with his niece as well as how much you teased and the incredible sex the two of you had. Walking into their apartment he was greeted by Laird, “Hello brother, haven’t seeneth you in awhile. Please doth come in.” Adam scrunched his face as he walked in looking at Caroline saying, “What the fuck is up with him.” She cut Laird off before he could say anything, “He has been reading Shakespear. Hi brother, what brings you by?” He shakes his head slightly at Lairds weirdness answering, “just checking in. How are you?” She gave him a big genuine smile, “i'm doing really good. Laird got that job awhile back at that meditation place. We have also been doing alot of things as a family, and I’ve been very happy.” He was genuinely relieved to see his sister happy and even Laird though he was odd. Adam could tell how much better Caroline was physically as well as mentally after getting the help she needed a little over a year ago.

The three of them talked for a while as Adam played with Sample. Caroline and Laird asked him about the projects he had been working on. He explained that he just filmed an audition for a new play easily slipping into the conversation that you had helped him. At the mention of you she smiles and watches how Adam lights up as he talks about you helping. Caroline speaks up saying, “Where is she? I know you two are together all of the time.” He eyed her curiosity saying, “At work she’s a teacher.” Her eyes widened in excitement at his response, “I knew I liked her. Educators are so underappreciated and they work like 100 times harder than anyone I know. You know a couple years ago there was a whole movement of a teacher walk out where all of these..”. Adam cut her off stopping the rabbit trail she was chasing, “Caroline yeah I know she's great.” He couldn’t hide the smile that crept across his face when he talked about you. It was Laird’s turn to speak up in a teasing tone, “I think Adam’s finally found someone. Could she be the one?” Adam rolled his eyes and focused on Sample saying, “yeah she’s special.” Caroline smiled and placed a hand on Laird’s arm saying, “I could sense the energy. The two of you seem very compatible. I'm sure the sex is..” Adam couldn’t take it anymore,, “Ahhhh shit nope not talking about it.” She pursed her lips and waited a moment before speaking, “Adam, i'm just glad you're happy. Ever since Jessa you had been off, but you seem so put together, driven, and inspired now.” Adam nodded his head and stood up with Sample. He gave her a kiss to the cheek then passed her to Caroline. “Uhmm yeah thanks. I gotta go.” He was glad that his sister cared about him, but it was embarrassing to be openingly complemented. On his way out Caroline said, “since she’s so special. You need to bring her around more. Let's do dinner or something.” Laird piped up, “yeah that would be fun. I make a mean tofu casserole.” Adam laughed at the thought of it, “yeah maybe.”

After leaving his sisters he was walking home and all he could think about was you. He knew in that moment that no matter what he did he couldn’t hide his feelings anymore no matter how scary it was to admit them. He also wanted to thank you for helping him. An Idea popped in his mind and he ran with it. He was going to cook you and him a nice dinner. A night just the two of you without work, auditions, or anything else distracting the two of you. Just a perfect night spent together you and him. He hoped that this would be the easiest way to settle everything that had been pushed to the side in fear and precaution. He had to tell you. He needed to tell you. He wanted to tell you that he loved you. At that realization he thought he would be afraid, but something deep down tugging at his heart filled him with excitement and anticipation.

Adam stopped by the store on the way home to get a few things to go with what he already had at home. In all reality it was a simple idea, but he knew you would appreciate it, no actually, love it because that was who you were. Carrying a few bags he made it to his apartment. Making his way up the stairs not paying attention to his surroundings grabbing his keys from his pocket he heard, “Hey Adam.” He looked up and was caught completely off guard anxiety and irritation shot through him. Jessa was standing outside his door.

“What are you doing here?”, He asked with a low irritated tone as he moved towards the door to unlock it. She didn’t say anything for a few seconds fidgeting with her fingernails, “I was hoping we could talk.” Opening the door he steps in and turns saying, “about what?” He could tell she was worked up because she kept avoiding eye contact, looking down the hallway, and taking deep breaths between phrases. “Just a range of things.”, she finally gets out. He was quiet for a moment and felt bad seeing that she was so out of sorts. She finally looked up at him saying, “Can I come in?” He was hesitant because the last time the two of them were in this apartment together was when they were having one of their famous knock down drag out fights and he ended it and she left. A wide range of emotions hit him as he remembered this, but something about them felt stale. He motioned with his head indicating for her to come in. She was quick to comply walking in and setting her purse down.

“I like what you’ve done with the place.” She says trying to lighten the mood. Adam of course hates small talk, “it's the same as always.” He walks into the kitchen and starts to put away the groceries he just got. Jessa stands against the doorway watching him, “Where is Y/N?” Adam took a deep breath hoping to calm the anger igniting in his chest, “Work. Why?” She straightens her stance, “Oh just wondering.” Adam wasn’t going to play these games with her, “Jessa you came to talk so talk.” She turned around and walked into his living area starting to pace a little. He watches her trying to figure out what she was going to say. Finally she stopped and said, “ I came here cause you're my friend and I need a friend. My counselor has been a great help, but sometimes I just can’t.” Adam turns and nods his head to urge her to continue and she does. Jessa goes on talking, complaining, and most of all venting. He realized that like any other person she just needed to vent to someone who wasn’t trying to fix her problems or judge her for making a mistake. Listening to her complain about the boring meetings and how her sister's bipolar support was really bothering her gave him a sense of relief allowing him to relax hoping this was all she needed. Jessa continued as Adam sat on the stool at his desk just listening.

“I’m really sorry Adam.”, Jessa said in a soft voice. Adam’s head tilted in attention. “What” was all he could get out. She started to step closer to him slowly. “I’m sorry for everything. I wasn’t fair to you.” She said. Adam was stuck in place by her words and confused why she was saying them. His mind was racing because these were the exact words he longed to hear from her all those months ago when he was trying to save them, when he loved her, but something about it felt wrong. Like he didn’t need to hear them anymore. Jessa moved closer and kept speaking, “I shouldn’t have blamed you for everything. I wasn’t in a good place.” Adam averted his eyes almost embarrassed to look up at her. At this point she was right in front of him only about a foot away. Finally his gaze shot up and caught hers. Right away he could feel himself slipping into that feeling of familiarity that he got used to with her. However, something about it was foregin. Jessa fidgeting with her hands and eyes boring into him, “Adam, I know I fucked up, but i'm better now. I really am.” He could see the pleading in her eyes as well as hearing it in her voice. Shifting on the stool feeling an unease setting in, “Jessa we can’t.” She shuts her eyes for a second trying not to accept what he was saying, “Adam come on. Remember how great it was when we were good. When I was good. It's all bullshit anyways.” Adam shook his head not wanting to hear this anymore, but before he knew it he felt her grip around his collar. She pulled him against her quickly and crashed her lips against his. It was like muscle memory took over his reaction without even processing. He moved with her for only a moment before he realised what was happening. Although he didn’t want to kiss Jessa it was too late.

When Jessa came over he hadn't realized the time was so close to you getting off or the fact you were coming over, but it had become routine for you to come over after work so it wasn’t really a surprise. The door opened and he heard that angelic voice of yours carry through the air so cheerfully till it was cut off completely. Lips breaking apart His eyes go wide instantly regret, guilt, pain, and anger flowed through his veins as his eyes fell over watching you react. He knew you and could see the pain in your eyes no matter how strong and unbothered you portray yourself. Adam hoped that he could just explain and everything would be fine. But when you spoke, “I’m sorry to interrupt. It’s good to see you again Jessa,” it was so unemotional and detached unlike anything he had ever heard you say before. Your words hit him hard crushing his chest like a ton of bricks and then just like that you were gone. He grabbed Jessa’s hands, ripping their grip from his collar and literally jumping up to follow after you. Jessa moved away and the stool hit the ground causing a loud sound to ring through the room. His long stride caught up with you quickly.

“Y/N”

You kept walking.

“Y/N”, he raised his voice. You stopped walking feeling empty trying to figure out where he found the audacity to follow you.

You composed yourself fighting against every muscle to show any amount of emotion. After a second you turn around.

Adam and you were face to face only a few feet apart, but it felt like you were miles away. It was silent and for the first time it wasn’t comfortable.

Both of you struggled to say anything just staring at each other. You stayed strong and didn’t waver, not allowing yourself to show any vulnerability. Adam’s stance shifted uncomfortably, not sure how to handle the situation as he watched your eyes struggle.

“I’m going Adam.”, you say, starting to turn to walk away.

“No, don’t go.”, he grabs your arm to face him.

“Why would I stay?”, anger set in, feeling him touch you. Your eyes showed that and he let go.

“It's not what you think I promise.”, His voice was laced with a soft plea.

“At this point it doesn’t matter what I think.”, confusion and sadness flashed across your face.

“Yes it fucking does.”, his anger was starting to flare a little as he waved his hands while he spoke.

“Why? I’m obviously not your fucking girlfriend. You’ve made that painfully clear.” Your eyes searched his trying to find answers.

Both of you were silent, understanding the consequences of the fact that neither of you had ever talked about what this was. Eyes searching each other, chests breathing heavy with pride and pain, you were distracted as you noticed Jessa peeking around the doorway.

“Nope fuck this.”, you start to walk backwards throwing your hands up in a giving up motion. Adam turned and saw Jessa swiftly duck back into his apartment like she wasn’t just eavesdropping.

“Shhhit, Y/N stop.”, He was pissed now because this was supposed to be different. This was supposed to be better. He started walking after you.

“No Adam you stop. I’m a big girl who can handle her shit. You obviously have plenty of shit to take care of, so go fucking handle it.” , you motion back towards his apartment indicating Jessa.

“Y/N, it’s fucking nothing. This is all bullshit. Just come in. She’s leaving.”, he was practically yelling through the hallway.

“Adam stop fucking following me, stop calling my name, there is nothing you can do. Leave me alone.”, your voice finally broke and you hated yourself for it, but you were falling to pieces as your whole peaceful world was crumbling around you.

“Please just fucking stay”, he held his hand out trying to grasp at yours hanging by your side.

“Stop it.” You pleaded yanking your hand away, “I can’t and you know I can’t.” You were taking a few more steps away. As a few tears break free rolling down your cheek.

“Y/N, don’t!”, he tried to grab you again, but you moved away too quickly.

“I'm fine. I'm always fine. Just leave me alone.”, taking a few more steps back you watch as Adam’s face contorts in emotion. His hands press into his face with anger at the whole situation. Then he looks up and watches you walk away feeling a hole develop inside of him that was aching for you.

He turned and walked back into his apartment. Immediately he lashed out grabbing something small and throwing it across the room. Breaking and crashing rang loud filling his ears. He caught Jessa in his peripheral vision and faced her. Chest heaving in anger Adam takes a moment.

“Adam, I'm here. Talk to me.” Jessa had a cautious voice.

“Don’t” He yelled.

“I'm here for you. Please, she can’t give you what I can. We have a history. We know each other.” Her voice raised trying to prove her point.

Instantly he stormed over to her waving an angry finger in her face yelling not giving a single fuck.

“Don’t you fucking dare talk about her. I don’t want to ever hear her name come out of your mouth again. She is the best fucking person ive ever met and you just fucked it up for me, becasue you can’t fucking take no for an answer.” His anger was getting the best of him as he started to shake with his heavy breaths.

“Adam come on! You’re kidding yourself.” She was yelling now matching his anger.

Adam turned towards Jessa again, “You came here knowing full well we can’t be friends. We are messy, your own words. Thats what fucking ended us. Our whole relationship started with secrets and lies. Ruining everything around us. Why would you want that again. I don’t Jessa, I really don’t. You fucking need to move on and make choices that are going to better your life. I have.”

She just watched him as he yelled and worked through his overwhelming emotions. Jessa took a deep breath as she realized he was serious voice breaking, “Adam, I love you.”

He let out a loud laugh, “No you don’t. You think you do, but you just like the idea of loving someone. Having someone completely to yourself. This, us, is familiar and fun, so that’s what you knew was the easiest to slip back into. Not giving a single fuck how it might affect me. That’s what you always do.”

She just stood there completely rattled by whatAdam was saying. “Get the fuck out and don’t come back! I'm glad you've gotten better, but I can’t help you and you know that! We can’t help each other! We can’t be friends!”

Jessa grabbed her stuff and heartbreakingly started for the door, “Fine!” He didn’t say a thing as he walked over and fell onto the couch. She stood there for a moment as it hit her; his words and action proved that this was finally over .

Jessa looked over at him and he didn’t acknowledge her one bit till she tried to say something.

“Fucking leave Jessa!”

Stepping out of the door she was gone. He was the last person connecting her to this part of her life. Even though she was hurt she felt like she had to move on.

Adam was alone being completely consumed by the fact that he screwed up the best thing he ever had or wanted. As he sat in his apartment he felt that hole growing bigger encapsulating him in despair. Tears started to roll down his face as the anger started to fade and the sadness set in. He had to set this right. He had to fix this. He couldn’t lose you. Had he already lost you? Fuck, I lost her, he thought. Adam knew how guarded and closed off you were due to the hurt and damage of the past, and he watched you open up and become so much more yourself from the first time he met you. He knew this crushed you and closed you off even more. The thought of it caused a few more tears to fall. Adam just sat there completely drained and lost for what to do. Your words replayed in his mind.

“I’m obviously not your fucking girlfriend. You’ve made that painfully clear.”

“You obviously have plenty of shit to take care of, so go fucking handle it.”

“There is nothing you can do. Leave me alone.”

“I can’t and you know I can’t”

“I’m fine. I’m always fine. Just leave me alone.”

“Leave me alone. Just leave me alone.” Adam hoped maybe all you needed was some time. He listened and left you alone, but he knew he couldn’t for long. Time, the one thing he hated to waste, but if you wanted it he would let you take as much as you needed. He just sat there wondering what was going on in your head. What you were doing. Where you were. What music you were listening to. His only thought was you.

Your body was in overdrive getting out of his apartment building as quickly as possible. All you could do was walk for as far as you could. You just kept walking not going home not going anywhere in particular you just walked the streets hoping your mind would shut off. Not knowing how much time passed it was getting dark out. You tried to listen to music, but it just made it worse lyrics to specific and melodies too sad. The only thing that was calming you was the fact that there were people all around you keeping your mind from losing itself. The night was growing darker and you finally wanted to give into the need to curl up into a ball. Somehow your subconscious knew where you were and was able to lead you home. Stepping into your apartment you dropped your bags and welcomed the dark empty loneliness that was your apartment. Just standing there you could feel your body lose its strength succumbing to the sadness you feel the tears flow freely down your already damp face. You loved your place especially over the past few months knowing you would be coming home most nights to Adam. Now it was a void of nothingness like memories and special moments had never taken place not once.

Mind running a mile a minute. Everything was coming and going, in and out, thoughts making you dizzy. You had opened up to this man. You had broken down your barriers for him. You trusted him. You told him about your past. You let him weasel his way into your life. You allowed him to become important to you and to develop your own happy world around him. You hated yourself for allowing this. You were angry at him yes, but mostly at yourself for letting yourself be weak believing for a moment this could be your life.

Walking into your bedroom you collapse on the bed. Laying there you’re immediately met with his scent that had permanently clung to your sheets. More tears sprung from your eyes rolling freely down your face. Getting up quickly you start fiercely ripping your sheets and blanket off of your bed throwing them as far away as you can. Everything around you had a moment, a memory, or a meaning behind it and you couldn't rid yourself of him. Adam had become your everything and it was crushing you. Clinging to a pillow you give up and fall on the stripped mattress. Sadness was devouring you pulling you into a deep hopelessness.

You stayed like this till you fell asleep. Eyes burning with tears. Chest tight with sadness, regret, and self loathing. Staring at the picture of Adam and you dancing together at his Christmas party on the nightstand by your bed. Your eyes finally fluttered shut hoping this was all a dream. Trying to bring comfort to yourself you whisper a song. The only song that comes to mind is Love is Blind by Janis Ian.

“Love is blind

Love is without a mercy

Love is "now you've hurt me

"now you've gone away"

Love is blind

Love is no horizon

And I'm slowly dying

Here in yesterday

In the morning

Waking to the sound of weeping

Someone else should weep for me

Now it's over

Lover, let me be”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It will get better. Eventually! I promise! I’m sorry again!   
> How do we feel about Adam putting Jessa in her place? 
> 
> I’m also working on the next chapter of Compromised.   
> Check it out KyloRenXReader Spy/Special agent Au

**Author's Note:**

> Follow my tiktok @lizziesolofics for updates and chapter aesthetics.  
> Thanks so much for taking the time to read my story.


End file.
